Using WE

similan · Sep 6, 2007

Is it ok to use it in the action tag?

For example:

Deadextra steps on a puddle, and 'we' see rising out from the rippling pool for his angle is a tinny, black hand blah blah...

thanks

hubbabubbs · Sep 6, 2007

and it's back.

It's your prerogative. If that's what titillates you, go ahead. Personally I think it's unnecessary. Just write what you see.

dpaterso · Sep 6, 2007

Yup, it's author's choice.

Overuse can sometimes prove distracting, and writing that doesn't use "we see" can appear stronger, more vigorous.

But there's no law against it.

Deadextra steps on a puddle. A tiny black hand rises from the rippling pool.

There's a dozen ways you could write that.

As long as it's clear, no worries.

-Derek

Hillgate · Sep 6, 2007

similan said:
Is it ok to use it in the action tag?

For example:

Deadextra steps on a puddle, and 'we' see rising out from the rippling pool for his angle is a tinny, black hand blah blah...

thanks

Try:

D steps in a puddle. A tiny black hand rises from the rippling pool and reaches for him.

scripter1 · Sep 6, 2007

This is the strongest arguement

against we see that I see most often and like the best.

"It's a movie. We are watching it, so of course 'we see' it!"

Writing we see is redundant. It is wasted words.
Just write what you see.

Now however, there are very creative ways to use "we" and have it become a nice way to direct on the page.

*We are the crow, darting over the tree tops, arrowing down to snatch up a shiny object.*

This type of "we" writing creates a very specific POV.

Or you could write "We are in the trunk of the car."
It tells the director to really get the audience feeling like they are ACTUALLY in the film, trapped in the car.

Use these kinds of things sparingly.
Overdirecting is and will always be... over directing.

icerose · Sep 6, 2007

I do not and have not ever put in "we" in any of my scripts. I personally don't see the point of doing it.

similan · Sep 8, 2007

Quite a few screenplays that I read have a bunch of them. Some more than another. I know they are probably shooting scripts but I was wondering if it was ok on specs. I never use it just because it's one of those things where my gut-instinct say 'no, don't be lazy' kind of deal... heh

Hubbabubs,

I promiss I'll do a lil' search before I type next time. Just a lil' though.

Oh and thanks, guys.

Maryn · Sep 8, 2007

FWIW, I guy I know at another screenwriting site is a reader for a studio he won't name. (He's been around a long time and I believe he is who he says he is, BTW.) He doesn't reject based on "we see" alone, but he's mentioned many times that it's a red flag suggesting there will be many other wasted words, inefficient action lines, etc. which cumulatively cause rejection.

Maryn, screenwriting groupie

NikeeGoddess · Sep 8, 2007

i agree with what most have said but i do have another take:
i think you can use "we see" when the audience sees but the character in the scene doesn't see. then you don't have to say, "he doesn't see the money in the rolled up newspaper."

does that make sense or is it clear as mud?

Maryn · Sep 8, 2007

That makes sense--it's gotta be a special case when some see and some don't. Hmm, this makes me want to see the script for Harvey.

Maryn, procrastinating

scripter1 · Sep 8, 2007

Nikee makes a good point.

Using we see in that instance makes it very clear and works to the ADVANTAGE of the script.

We see and other things VERY QUICKLY become redundant.
Avoid redundancy.

Hollow · Sep 9, 2007

I agree with most of the people above me. "We" should only be used if you're viewing things from a specific point of view, such as the Crow example. Otherwise there's no point at all. You could just say "Deadextra steps on a puddle. A tiny black hand rises from the rippling pool, reaches for him. He doesn't notice." or something along those lines. Otherwise, like scripter1 says, it gets really redundant really fast. Avoid that at all costs.

My $0.02

similan · Sep 9, 2007

So, ya'll saying that this would be bad?

EXT. LAWN - MIDNIGHT

Bush runs for cover behind Shrub and we see that Shrub did not notice Bush but we know he is there because I just told you and stuff.

So don't do that?

javili · Sep 10, 2007

"We" is a no-no. Like trying to beat first person by saying "one".

That said, the next great script by cool writer you pick up might very well have it.

Using WE

similan

hubbabubbs

dpaterso

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Hillgate

On location

scripter1

Article Queen

icerose

Lost in School Work

similan

Maryn

I Tried

NikeeGoddess

Maryn

I Tried

scripter1

Article Queen

Hollow

similan

javili