Do readers prefer love or lust?

rhymegirl · Sep 5, 2007

I was reading someone's erotica story recently, or the first chapter or two, and I noticed he tried to describe the love between the two characters, besides focusing only on the sexual aspect. So that got me wondering how readers feel about this issue.

When someone (your average erotica reader) is reading a work of erotica, does he or she care whether the writer shows a loving, caring relationship between the couple in the book, or is the sex act(s) the most important aspect? One reason why I ask is because in the novel I'm working on, my main character is driven mostly by her libido; it's her sex drive that gets her into trouble. She's not really interested in love.

So what does everyone else think? Love or lust?

Stacia Kane · Sep 5, 2007

Hmm. I wouldn't expect to read about love in the first couple of chapters of an erotic romance. Nor would I necessarily expect to read about it at all in an erotic novel that isn't a romance.

Personally I want a mix of both. But again, it depends on the story.

kristie911 · Sep 5, 2007

If I pick up erotica, I don't expect love...lust is fine for me. I'm usually reading it for the sex, the erotica...no expectations of love. Okay if it's there, of course, but doesn't have to be.

If I pick up a romance, I expect love.

JanDarby · Sep 5, 2007

Yeah, pretty much what the others said.

If it's truly erotica, then love is optional, may occur later, may occur from the beginning, may not occur ever. If it's erotic romance, then the readers expect either love or at least hints or foreshadowing of the potential for love later on, maybe just some suggestion that the sex partners like/respect each other or, at a minimum, don't disrespect each other, so there's a potential for the physical attraction to deepen to encompass the person as a whole, and not just the physical.

I've written some erotica short stories for Ruthiesclub.com, and there's a wide variety there. My stories tend to be romance-ish, if not particularly traditional; other stories there are not romantic at all. My stories for Ruthisclub.com are somewhat different from my stories for Liquid Silver Books, with the RC stories more erotica (which happen to include romantic elements) and the LSB stories more erotic romance (where the romance is more central to the plot).

JD

Salem · Sep 5, 2007

Lust! I want to get lost in a fantasy world!

sunandshadow · Sep 5, 2007

Love for me, but I know other people who dislike seeing love and would prefer the characters actually be hostile to each other. I think it's really a spectrum. At one end you've got steamy romance: sex between characters who are madly in love with each other and marriage and having babies are often part of the story. At the other end you're got rape/torture/snuff where there is an underlying hatred toward the manipulativeness of sexual desire and urge to conquer the other person's appeal by ultimately destroying them. In the middle is casual sex, fuckbuddies, orgies, and sexual competitions and games which are about independence, playfulness, and avoiding passion, intimacy, and commitment. For each segment of the spectrum there is a different audience because each gives something different to the audience, and different types of people are satisfied by what each one gives.

Giles English · Sep 5, 2007

Love, but a spectacularly dysfunctional one...

That's what I like writing, anyway. The love then adds a tinge of erotic horror, trapping the protagonist in his role.

For example, he loves her, but she's phallophobic, so the only way they can be intimate is if he wears a chastity device. Meanwhile, deep down, he's only really attracted to virgins. So....

AndiB · Sep 5, 2007

I personally find reading about lust infinitely more realistic than reading about love...but that's just me.

veinglory · Sep 5, 2007

I don't really see it as either/or. I will read lust no love, love and lust, love and no lust (yes, it does exist) and no love no lust. So long as it is good.

Of course as 'a reader of erotica' I am looking for hot sex but it can be good with or without romance.

rhymegirl · Sep 5, 2007

Very interesting replies.

Now I don't feel so bad that my main character is always jumping on her boyfriend and kinda just using him. I was afraid that would make her unlikable if she is not interested in love.

davids · Sep 5, 2007

no reason why a woman cannot behave in a traditionally manly manner-ahem ahem and why not?

veinglory · Sep 5, 2007

So long as they are both into it, I don't see that as a character flaw.

akiwiguy · Sep 5, 2007

rhymegirl said:
Now I don't feel so bad that my main character is always jumping on her boyfriend and kinda just using him. I was afraid that would make her unlikable if she is not interested in love.

Hmmm, I think on the contrary. An odd very common theme in short stuff I've done, and fem. beta readers, friends etc say they're very turned on and can relate to it as fantasy...

... is Dom/sub stories whereby the fem is somewhat objectified, displayed and used by other lovers at the control of her Dom, yet is adored by that Dom. A paradox that I personally do understand as part of Dom/sub dynamics, and has been well understood by others who have read it.

If others perceive that as impossible by their definition of "love" I don't really care to be honest. I know it to be very very common kink. So what I'm saying is, "using" someone does not in my opinion necessairly imply they don't love the other when in the context of erotica. Your apparent lack of "love" to me would be fine.

rhymegirl · Sep 17, 2007

akiwiguy said:
Hmmm, I think on the contrary. An odd very common theme in short stuff I've done, and fem. beta readers, friends etc say they're very turned on and can relate to it as fantasy...

Yeah, this is what I'm hoping for. It's really just a fantasy thing anyways. I've always assumed that erotica readers want to escape from their own lives and can see that this woman is just a made-up person and perhaps "live" a little through her.

ZannaPerry · Sep 18, 2007

rhymegirl said:
my main character is driven mostly by her libido; it's her sex drive that gets her into trouble. She's not really interested in love.

Sort of sounds like me. . . :tongue

Anywho, to answer your question I like a little of both. I read several romance novels, erotica novels, anything with sex mainly...so I like a love story with a little bit of both. Lust and love together. The main characters can have major lust boiling between them, but also they find love somewhere through the steam of it all.

gingerwoman · Sep 18, 2007

Dom/sub stories whereby the fem is somewhat objectified, displayed and used by other lovers at the control of her Dom, yet is adored by that Dom.

Carole · Sep 20, 2007

Kathy, that is a very good question. Something I've never pondered before.

I have a very difficult time imagining lust without love, but that's just me. Love adds a tremendous amount of intensity to lust IMO because those in love can know each other VERY well. Little secrets shared between the two can make for extremely interesting scenarios.

As lame-o as it may sound, Mr. Vagabond and I have played those "silly" little online D/s role playing games together and our characters are freaking steamy hot. There's a depth to it that makes it all-around richer than I believe any chance encounter could ever be.

Then again I'm still in awe of my hubby so maybe I'm biased!!

rhymegirl · Sep 20, 2007

Well, Carole, I enjoy both kinds of books myself.

I am definitely a romantic, so I enjoy watching a romantic comedy type of movie or reading a novel which includes a romantic relationship.

However, a novel which just depicts a woman who goes about having herself a fun time is also enjoyable to read. I consider this escape reading. We can live through the character.

Goddess · Sep 21, 2007

To point out a cliche, the four characters from Sex and The City can be an outline of women readers. I, personally, think that the 4 of them embody most of the personality traits of women when it comes to matters of heart, sex, love and lust.

So, who are you writing for? Samantha, Carrie, Miranda or Charlotte?

I have recently read a rather steamy erotic novel in which main characters did not have sex until they were married. And to be honest, I think that is bollocks. I am sorry, but no matter how experienced you are with the member of the opposite sex, having sex be absolutely fanfuckingtastic the first time with a person, is well, a bit unrealistic.

Not saying it can't happen, but an overly endowed man and a petite woman who has not had sex in over a year on their wedding night "fitting" perfectly and blah, blah blah. I must admit, I was disappointed with the necessity to envelop the whole steamy sex into a 2.4 children and a white picket fence story.

Could be just me though!

Soccer Mom · Sep 21, 2007

This was my MC's dilemma in last year's NaNo novel (which I'll finish during this year's NaNo.) She's found a guy that she's VERY sexually compatible with. In the midst of that, she meets someone and realizes that she is developing strong romantic feelings for him. Does she bail on the fun relationship for one that might become love? Or does she just enjoy what she has.

I can't wait to find out.

rhymegirl · Sep 22, 2007

Soccer Mom said:
This was my MC's dilemma in last year's NaNo novel (which I'll finish during this year's NaNo.) She's found a guy that she's VERY sexually compatible with. In the midst of that, she meets someone and realizes that she is developing strong romantic feelings for him. Does she bail on the fun relationship for one that might become love? Or does she just enjoy what she has.

I can't wait to find out.

Ooh, I like that. I would definitely read this kind of story.

kristie911 · Sep 22, 2007

Soccer Mom said:
This was my MC's dilemma in last year's NaNo novel (which I'll finish during this year's NaNo.) She's found a guy that she's VERY sexually compatible with. In the midst of that, she meets someone and realizes that she is developing strong romantic feelings for him. Does she bail on the fun relationship for one that might become love? Or does she just enjoy what she has.

I can't wait to find out.

Excellent story line! I'd definitely read something like that!

Call me when you need a beta.

Soccer Mom · Sep 22, 2007

kristie911 said:
Excellent story line! I'd definitely read something like that!

Call me when you need a beta.

Thanks Kathy! Thanks Kristie! Will do.

Libbie · Sep 22, 2007

Personally, when I read erotica I'm reading it for the lust. I would be less inclined to continue to buy stories/books from a writer who sullied my good, nasty fun with all that mushy love stuff. I have no idea if I am a typical erotica reader in that respect.

Drasheny · Sep 23, 2007

If "love" does not necessarily imply a mushy, romantic, happy ending, then I choose love. Unrequited love or, as Giles said, dysfunctional love has a lot of room for drama. Lust comes in many different flavors, but other than that, it's pretty straightforward. My biggest problem with a most of what I consider bad erotica is that it has no conflict. A character that it motivated purely by lust can solve his or her "conflict" very easily (without even necessarily leaving the house). Where's the story?

I think lust and hate would make a more interesting combo.

Do readers prefer love or lust?

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