Nasty Space Pranks

Jaycinth · Sep 4, 2007

I am posting this because I cannot think.

At this point in my revising a WIP, my MC, who has been effectively abandoned at a Military school on Mars, is a 16 year old cadet training on a battleship. Of the people he hates, one is the President's son, who is 17, and on the same training ship.

My MC cannot kill the President's son.

What dangerous prank can be played on my MC, in space, on this ship, (or even at the school) without killing him or resulting in the Pres. son being killed...although the punk deserves it. And the prank has to make my MC hate him more. It has to be bad. It is ok for someone to die....

I've already pulled the 'lets empty the oxygen tanks' thingie.

And actually the school is on Phobos, under a dome. Mars no longer 'needs' a dome.

All ideas are worth a free mixed drink at the 'Cabaret'.

Don't eat the food.

Melisande · Sep 4, 2007

There's a lot coming to mind...

If they are antagonists to the extent that they are bothering the whole crew, they might thrown off the ship, clad in proper suits, and must fight to either come back or get into some kind of rescue-vessel. It would mean a time-limit aswell, and immediate danger. A third character could easily be added for sacrificial benefits.

In the school they could either both be asked, or just one of them, to do something they don't know is considered 'impossible' within the frame of your WIP. It could be something either dangerous, or humorous or both. Like an 'outing' outside the dome to find something that's either rediculous, or very dangerous and bring it back for 'scientific testing'.

If they are to play pranks on oneanother, I guess a logical way to do it would be that they dared eachother to do a lot of foolish things, putting both themselves and the rest of the crew in danger.

Or the President's son could challenge your MC into a dare-devil rescue-mission of sorts. A rescue-mission that of course is all imaginary. Your MC could bring a helper that dies, with all the following trauma to the poor MC.

Hope I understood your question correctly.
Would love to read the story when you're finished with it.

davids · Sep 4, 2007

First off Jay you do not want to kill the little prick-that would be no fun and you want to be able to have him tortured either mentally or physically by your MC. You might consider making the Pres'z son gay! Now before you start jumping off and calling me silly-well I am in the middle of a gay erotica wip forced on me by some of the lovely ladies hanging about here-at any rate just think about it. It would be a huge secret right-will the boy do anything to protect this horrid secret-how does you MC find out etc etc-shit the mind boggleates just thinking of the possiblitys!!!! Or you could have your MC find out he is in reality a bastard son-or a cross dressing secret android-alright now I am being silly-keep writing you will figure it out-death is always an easy option but the art of dying now that is writerly genius if you knowipate what I mean-I know I know-shut up Dave-alright I will----luv Dave

auntybug · Sep 4, 2007

My brothers used to get great joy by holding me & my friends by one ankle over our Lanai (1st story deck). Can he hang him out something as if he's gonna let him fly off into space? Sorry - thats all I got - I'm still on Hawaii time & my brain is going slow...

waylander · Sep 4, 2007

Leave something very smelly in the MC's space-suit?

TheIT · Sep 4, 2007

In Heinlein's Moon is a Harsh Mistress, I believe they used itching powder in space suits as a practical joke.

dclary · Sep 4, 2007

a) Fill the cadet's helmet with something foul. Pull the decompression alarm.

b) Ok, this one's elaborate... Put a small capsule of fake blood in the middle of a ball of biscuit dough. place the biscuit dough in a small shaped-charge casing (they might have access to something like this on a space battleship).

Place said device in the back of the victim's helmet.

Now... while in space, prankster's accomplice screams out "OMG! You've got a breach in your suit!"

While he's panicking, blow the charge. Victim feels the back of his head "explode" and now has blood and bloody bits of spongy-brain-looking material splattered all over and floating around inside his helmet.

Should just about cause a coronary.

Jaycinth · Sep 4, 2007

Melisande said:
There's a lot coming to mind...

If they are antagonists to the extent that they are bothering the whole crew, they might thrown off the ship, clad in proper suits, and must fight to either come back or get into some kind of rescue-vessel. It would mean a time-limit aswell, and immediate danger. A third character could easily be added for sacrificial benefits.

No..this is something 'personal' between the Pres. son and my MC.
(If the MC's dad hadn't been taken out of the picture, my MC would be the pres son and the man who is now pres would be in jail or dead.) I think it is interesting you mention a third character:sacrificial. Another AWer pmed me something to that effect and I'm liking it more every second. You have just reinforced that like.

Melisande said:
Or the President's son could challenge your MC into a dare-devil rescue-mission of sorts. A rescue-mission that of course is all imaginary. Your MC could bring a helper that dies, with all the following trauma to the poor MC.

I am liking that a lot.

Melisande said:
Hope I understood your question correctly.
Would love to read the story when you're finished with it.

I am in the process of re-writing this 90K novel. If you are still interested when I've edited and changed a bit...I'd feel honored.

davids said:
First off Jay you do not want to kill the little prick-that would be no fun and you want to be able to have him tortured either mentally or physically by your MC. You might consider making the Pres'z son gay! Now before you start jumping off and calling me silly-well I am in the middle of a gay erotica wip forced on me by some of the lovely ladies hanging about here-at any rate just think about it. It would be a huge secret right-will the boy do anything to protect this horrid secret-how does you MC find out etc etc-shit the mind boggleates just thinking of the possiblitys!!!! Or you could have your MC find out he is in reality a bastard son-or a cross dressing secret android-alright now I am being silly-keep writing you will figure it out-death is always an easy option but the art of dying now that is writerly genius if you knowipate what I mean-I know I know-shut up Dave-alright I will----luv Dave

davids... my poor, innocent, sweet lobster! You have no idea how much of a perverse deviant I am, do you?

The Pres son is one of those borderlinse psychopaths that uses sex as a weapon. He does not care who he does it to, as long as they are hurt and degraded by it. He also does not give a 'whacky cracker' what other people think about him, because he can always fix those people or have others fix them for him. This guy is not the nastiest piece of work I've ever dreamed up...but he is close.

auntybug said:
My brothers used to get great joy by holding me & my friends by one ankle over our Lanai (1st story deck). Can he hang him out something as if he's gonna let him fly off into space? Sorry - thats all I got - I'm still on Hawaii time & my brain is going slow...

Would being dragged along on a space tether kill someone? I mean, technically you'd be going the same velocity as the ship when you were put on the tether.......

waylander said:
Leave something very smelly in the MC's space-suit?

I did that. But it was a fabulous idea!

TheIT said:
In Heinlein's Moon is a Harsh Mistress, I believe they used itching powder in space suits as a practical joke.

Maybe itching powder in the oxygen supply? Would that be immediately fatal? Could someone survive that?

This is really between My MC and the SOB. The Captain and crew on the ship would have a vested interest in ignoring everything [bad] the Pres. son does.

By the way....you people rock! Day to day 'sheep' people don't comprehend questions like this!

TheIT · Sep 4, 2007

I don't think itching powder would do much good in an oxygen supply. Inhaling something like that might kill him. Is the guy allergic to anything? Maybe put some of whatever he's allergic to in his helmet? You'd have to be careful the guy doesn't go into anaphylactic shock, but if it's something like hayfever, a sneezing fit in a spacesuit would be pretty messy.

Jaycinth · Sep 4, 2007

dclary said:
a) Fill the cadet's helmet with something foul. Pull the decompression alarm.

b) Ok, this one's elaborate... Put a small capsule of fake blood in the middle of a ball of biscuit dough. place the biscuit dough in a small shaped-charge casing (they might have access to something like this on a space battleship).

Place said device in the back of the victim's helmet.

Now... while in space, prankster's accomplice screams out "OMG! You've got a breach in your suit!"

While he's panicking, blow the charge. Victim feels the back of his head "explode" and now has blood and bloody bits of spongy-brain-looking material splattered all over and floating around inside his helmet.

Should just about cause a coronary.

***slaps Dave***

Dave! It's me...JAY!!! Snap out of it! They are cadets, not 9th graders!
***checks Dave temperature just to make sure he is not delusional.***

davids · Sep 4, 2007

AAAAHHHHHAAAA he must be gay then and pervericated-luv him already-wanna see him suffer-bad real bad-keep writin this stuff like this and soon you will be having to have someone else do yer damned taxes-you are so sick and I luv you for it-Dave

dpaterso · Sep 4, 2007

Lure him outside the dome on some pretext (an exercise?), then disable his spacesuit communications and leave him outside, banging on the outer airlock hatch. In space, no one can hear you bitch.

Or... variant on a theme... propel him into space... just a hard kick might be enough... it could be hours before Phobos's weak gravity brings him back in (with a bump).

-Derek

dclary · Sep 4, 2007

Jaycinth said:
***slaps Dave***

Dave! It's me...JAY!!! Snap out of it! They are cadets, not 9th graders!
***checks Dave temperature just to make sure he is not delusional.***

Ok. In that case.... Have him install a military-strength microwave-beam emitter in the dorm, knowing that the president's son will be the first to enter the hallway from his room.

Microwave beams will pretty much kill someone, but only the part of them that gets in the beam.

My friend's uncle put his hand in front of a military microwave emitter in the 70s, and lost full use of his hand for 20 years -- it just suddenly started working again after nearly 2 decades.

So he does this. President's son wakes up, walks into the hallway... and like... his leg, or his arm... or his MALE MEMBER gets caught in the beam and effectively killed -- for a long-term temporary spell. Nothing permanently damaging, but as permanent and damaging as you can get without being so.

Jaycinth · Sep 4, 2007

davids said:
AAAAHHHHHAAAA he must be gay then and pervericated-luv him already-wanna see him suffer-bad real bad-keep writin this stuff like this and soon you will be having to have someone else do yer damned taxes-you are so sick and I luv you for it-Dave

iamgoingtocrawlintothatshellwithyouandtickleyouuntilyouburp!

III · Sep 4, 2007

Has anyone suggested something more psychological - like faking an email that the MC's mother died and then disabling his ability to contact earth?

If that's too high brow, they should dress up like panda bears and rape him. Nobody likes to be raped by pandas, even if it's really just guys in panda suits.

Jaycinth · Sep 4, 2007

dpaterso said:
Lure him outside the dome on some pretext (an exercise?), then disable his spacesuit communications and leave him outside, banging on the outer airlock hatch. In space, no one can hear you bitch.

Or... variant on a theme... propel him into space... just a hard kick might be enough... it could be hours before Phobos's weak gravity brings him back in (with a bump).

-Derek

If it were you...and you were 16...would it piss you off?

dclary · Sep 4, 2007

Have him sold into slavery to Nubungian Slavers. Then rend his coat of many colors with goat's blood and tell the president his son was eaten by space-lions.

Jaycinth · Sep 4, 2007

dclary said:
Ok. In that case.... Have him install a military-strength microwave-beam emitter in the dorm, knowing that the president's son will be the first to enter the hallway from his room.

Microwave beams will pretty much kill someone, but only the part of them that gets in the beam.

My friend's uncle put his hand in front of a military microwave emitter in the 70s, and lost full use of his hand for 20 years -- it just suddenly started working again after nearly 2 decades.

So he does this. President's son wakes up, walks into the hallway... and like... his leg, or his arm... or his MALE MEMBER gets caught in the beam and effectively killed -- for a long-term temporary spell. Nothing permanently damaging, but as permanent and damaging as you can get without being so.

I'm actually trying to let Pres Son to hurt my MC. But my MC cannot die as a result. As a matter of fact he needs to have a sucessful military career after this. But what ever happens needs to make him decide to kill the Pres Son at the first opportunity....which won't be for 20 years.

Jaycinth · Sep 4, 2007

III said:
Has anyone suggested something more psychological - like faking an email that the MC's mother died and then disabling his ability to contact earth?

MC's mom is dead. He thinks his dad killed her. MC thinks his dad is dead, too. MC's grandpa is a vice admiral...and he always takes the president's side. MC's aunt is the mafia. They like having that particular president as president for life.

My MC is at the mercy of the dickwad.

III said:

If that's too high brow, they should dress up like panda bears and rape him. Nobody likes to be raped by pandas, even if it's really just guys in panda suits.

Click to expand...

Yep. I remember an episode of 'The Simpsons' where Homer had to dress as a panda and.......... he was not happy.

I'm killing grandpa eventually. I hope that cheers y'all up.

III · Sep 4, 2007

Jaycinth said:
Yep. I remember an episode of 'The Simpsons' where Homer had to dress as a panda and.......... he was not happy.

SimSim

Jaycinth · Sep 4, 2007

dclary said:
Have him sold into slavery to Nubungian Slavers. Then rend his coat of many colors with goat's blood and tell the president his son was eaten by space-lions.

Get out of my head, Dave.
(you spelled 'Nubaungianese' wrong.)

...and they are not slavers...they are cannibals.

That is what you get when you buy a cheap periapt of mind reading!

dpaterso · Sep 4, 2007

Jaycinth said:
If it were you...and you were 16...would it piss you off?

Heck kind of question is that?! Someone leaves me outside for hours, or boots me into space, I'm gonna want to kill the sumbitch. And I would. He'd better stay away from airlocks. In case there's a "malfunction" that blows him into cold vacuum.

-Derek

III · Sep 4, 2007

dpaterso said:
Heck kind of question is that?! Someone leaves me outside for hours, or boots me into space, I'm gonna want to kill the sumbitch. And I would. He'd better stay away from airlocks. In case there's a "malfunction" that blows him into cold vacuum.

-Derek

But then all Mods are well-documented sociopaths, so take it for what it's worth.

Jaycinth · Sep 4, 2007

Yeah...but he could have answered that it would freak him out and leave him scarred and in therapy for life.

In which case being strung out on a tether might not be such a good idea.

But since it P.O's him...I'm thinking...maybe it could work.

Or maybe I should think of something else.

The MC's girlfriend could get tethered, and then the tether breaks...

Oh JOY...I can see a whole lotta evil in THAT particular direction...

But first.....I have to go be 'Human Resources'.

davids · Sep 4, 2007

Jaycinth said:
iamgoingtocrawlintothatshellwithyouandtickleyouuntilyouburp!

Come on lady lots of space-although by burping and ticklingishity I tend to expand and well er um-never mind come on over lady!!!!

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