Does your family believe in you?

I applaud you for following your dreams!

My family has always supported me and helped me a lot when I was entering college & trying to choose a major. I avoided an english/writing major out of fear. I'm a graphic designer by day because I was afraid to put myself out there as a writer, and only now, 14 years later, am I going back to those writing dreams.

Your dad is probably (hopefully) expressing concern that you'll be able to eat, pay the rent, that sort of thing. Parents can be protective that way.

Good luck!

When I was growing up, no. Not in my writing at least. I was to be the best athlete on the face of the Earth, and the smartest person too, but writing was what people did if they wanted to end up begging on the street for money (an actual line from my mother when I was 9 and came home saying I wanted to be a writer).

Now, things are a bit different. My mother and my grandmother are very supportive, but my dad still says that if I get something published, he'll read it then, since that'll mean it's worth his time.

Luckily, I have a super supportive husband.

No. I really think I must have been adopted. I have nothing in common with them.

Hi Misswriter,

Oh, parents. Notice your dad said, ".......when none of your books sell..." He must believe you will be a writer or he wouldn't be concerned about your books not selling.

Sometimes parents can see the handwriting on the wall (tee hee) and they fear the direction you are taking. He is watching out for you, just as he's supposed to do, even if he comes across a little nasty at times.

Just remember: if you are doing what you love to do, you will never work a day in your life. However, until you see your dreams of being a writer fulfilled, you still have to eat. In that case, assure your dad that you will do whatever is necessary (work!) to make sure you are fed and clothed. If he sees that you will go the extra mile in order to see your dreams come true, he will stop trying to grab the pen from your hand.

Now, in answer to your question: I have had a supportive family and I'm very thankful for their support.

My parents support me 100%, especially my dad. My friends all think it's cool I've written novels, even though I haven't had any published. The rest of my family thinks I'm kind of weird but they still support me.

The only person that I know that never did was my ex-husband. Just one more reason he's an "ex".

My partner was overjoyed when I started writing. He has always believed that I'm a good writer; I often proof and offer editorial commentary on his academic and other writing, and at one time we worked together as co-researchers and co-writers. In fact, I'd say he believes in my writing more than I do -- although I have to admit he's never read any of my fiction (unless he's been peeking).

My wife has so much complete faith that I will succeed as a writer that it scares the shit out of me. I can handle failure if I am the only one that is hurt and disappointed....but I desperately don't want to let her down.

Sort-of. My family believes that I have talent, but they're also realistic about what it takes to get published, and what a long process that can be (often with little financial reward). I almost majored in creative writing in college, but my mother insisted I take up a minor in something else that would let me get a job.

I ended up not going to the creative writing school anyway, and majored in History. Mom still nags me to send stories out. I never do.

I don't have a family. Just a stepdad, and an uncle who I hardly see. My mother disappeared a few years back and I have no siblings, so my writing family is yous lot.

scarletpeaches said:

I don't have a family. Just a stepdad, and an uncle who I hardly see. My mother disappeared a few years back and I have no siblings, so my writing family is yous lot.

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If we're related, how come you're so much prettier than me?

My parents... pretty much ignored anything I had to say about writing from the first time I said anything about writing. And then they read some of my stuff. My mom actually said that I would be able to support myself well on my writing. Coming from my mom, that's a pretty big compliment.

My parents were into my writing, and my husband definitely is. It's the rest of my family that's the problem. If I say I can't do something b/c I want to write, they'll say stuff like, Can't you do it another time? or Just write in the morning then come over later. No one else takes it seriously or ever asks what I'm working on. It's not considered important or "work" to anyone else. (like I said, except my husband)

I think that wanting you to make a comfortable living is a kind of support. i.e. look into the careers a degree in creative writing from your university actually leads to?

Most of my family don't know that I write. I keep it to myself as I know that they'll probably think it's just a hobby that I'll grow bored of in a while (even though I started writing my first novel in 2005).

The only family member that does know is my dad and he's 100% behind me. It helps that he's writing a book too so we bounce ideas off one another. He's asked me to proofread his book and he asks to read my work. It's great to have someone in the family who's writing too.

My friends are all behind me and give me so much support it sometimes overwhelms me.

Yeah


My dad always wanted to be a writer but put his free spirit on hold to make sure my sisters and I have good lives.

My mom worries that I'll become some introspective freak who never leaves my room and has no human interaction. Or like, Emily Dickinson.

My aunt worries that I'm selling myself short.

They all think I'd make a great doctor. But that's not what I want and they know it.

scarletpeaches said:

I don't have a family. Just a stepdad, and an uncle who I hardly see. My mother disappeared a few years back and I have no siblings, so my writing family is yous lot.

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we're so great though!

You're the black sheep of the family!

My parents and children attend my writers' conference, so they're supportive. My father-in-law taught a class once at A Writer's Weekend, too. My husband helps me plot my stories (he's good at getting to the essential and cutting out the fluff). I feel very blessed, being surrounded with friends, writers who help and support me.

My family could really care less. It's never mattered to them, so I do my own supporting and boosting. It gets tough sometimes, but it's worth it at least in terms of doing something that you feel good about and believe in. And then, of course, when you get published you can have an "I told you so" moment....

misswriter said:

I may not be that great of a writer (I hope I am), and I know my dad wouldn't like my stuff if I let him read it (he only likes nonfiction) but today we were discussing my future, because that's all my parents ever talk about. My dad asked me what I wanted to major in, and I said creative writing. So then he said, rather nastily, "What are you going to do for food when none of your books sell?" He's usually not a nasty man, by the way. In fact, he's usually really supportive. But he's also a very practical man, and thinks that money is the most important thing. It's not that he
thinks I'm a bad writer, having never read my writing. So my question to you is, do your parents, spouse, children, etc. support your writing?

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THIS WAS ME. And my father, of course. First thing you should know is that the number one thing your dad is concerned about is that you have all the important stuff: food, clothing, shelter, etc. After that, he would LOVE LOVE LOVE it if you could follow your dreams. But dads are practical like that. I thought my dad was unsupportive and mean for YEARS, and I just wasn't seeing how much he cared for my well being.

What you could do to help is to help your dad understand that anyone with a college degree and a little ambition will never starve and never be out of work. Tell him about all the OTHER things you could do with a degree in English (I got a BA in English with an emphasis in creative writing... as far as I know there isn't really just an undergrad major of "creative writing"). You could teach, you could be a freelance writer, you could do webpages for companies... trust me, there will always be someone who wants to hire you. As soon as my dad saw this, he was on board.

Also, have you let your dad read any of your work? He might support you a lot more if he saw that you really can write!

I was halfway through college and worrying about a summer job one year when my dad said, "You don't need a job. I'm gonna give you the money you need for the summer, and all I want you to do is WRITE." I was totally flabbergasted. But it was like he realized I could do it, and then he was totally behind me.

I think another big fear dads have is not wanting to see you fail. He doesn't want you to have unrealistic dreams that you can never attain because he's afraid you'll be crushed. He cares!

Here's another suggestion....what do you want to write about?

Do you want to write insightful political thrillers? Go get a degree in political science, or at the very least try to get a job working in public office.

Want to write legal thrillers? Okay, go get a job in law enforcement, a degree in criminal justice, a law degree, a paralegal degree, or a job as a legal secretary.

Want to write historical fiction? Is there a historical society in your area? Are they hiring?

Love books in general? Get a job at a book store or a library.

Build marketable skills that will make your parents happy that you will be able to feed and clothe yourself, and here's the kicker.....it's all good research.

I know this is the route I've taken.

My dad - he's aware that I write, but I think it just baffles him. He's more concerned with whether I've got a good paying job with decent benefits: when I didn't, he was worried, and now that I do he doesn't ask questions. It's not a lack of support, per se, just practicality; he cares that I'm happy, but he wants to make sure I've got the basics down. Sounds to me like your dad and mine have that in common.

My mom, who is an artist and only sporadically lives in the world of bills and remembering to turn the stove off - believes a bit too much, I think. When I told her I'd finished a novel and had fulls requested, despite my painstaking explanation of the submission process, she decided that I was going to be published any day now. She told several of my old high school classmates this, and now I get bombarded with questions about "when my book is coming out" every time I visit my old hometown. I'm so glad I didn't go to my high school reunion...

My roommate is my rock. He's a writer too, so we're always there to support each other. He's my "when you get published..." go to guy As for my family, they are supportive in varying degrees. My little brother (19 and the only one of us three kids to make a serious go of college) understands without question when I can't scan his pictures for his myspace or hang out because I'm writing. He has amazing amounts of patience! My sister HATES to read. The only book I've actually heard her get through was The Notebook. She offered to read my novel and then told me she couldn't put it down. I damn near cried. It was one of the best compliments I've ever gotten. My mom just wants me to be happy and really hopes that I can sell my work. She's always asking how it's coming and what steps are next.

My dad though, is the one I write for. He has never read a book in his life. He thinks it's a waste of time. He just asked me the other day what I plan to do with my life. When I told him I was gonna make a go of writing he pulled the ol' "Yea, but how are you going to pay the bills?". I'm stubborn as hell and want nothing more than to prove him wrong. He knows it too. I like to think his unsupportive nature is part of our dynamic But he also told me if I finished the novel he would read it. It would be the only book he's ever read. What can I say? I think I got a really good lot with this bunch

My family don't even know I write - at least not officially. They might just have worked it out from all the writing books I left lying around in my room when I was still living with them
I haven't told them yet, partly because I'm not sure how they'd react, and partly because I think it will be oh so much cooler to tell them by handing them a copy of my first published novel