A method of novel manuscript editing

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jdparadise

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I posted this in response to a question on a mailing list I belong to; the person was wondering how a fairly new writer might go about making sure their book was "tight." I like the way it came out, and wonder if it might help anyone here (or if anyone can point out any obvious or inobvious flaws in the methodology)

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First, write -everything-. All the stuff you want to include. Go nuts. It's a first draft. It's going to suck. But it's a first draft; it's allowed to suck. If it runs to 6000 pages, so be it. If all your scene settings say "insert spooky looking trees here," so be it.

Next, set the thing aside. It needs to age, like Limburger; you want to give it time so that the stink becomes very apparent.

Then, after six weeks or six months or whatever space you need to let the thing air out, print it out and read it cover-to-cover, in as few sittings as possible. Read with a bunch of highlighters, and NO RED PEN.

Look at things on the scene level:
  • Green: "This scene rocks. I need more stuff like this. I understand everyone's motivations, and they're killer motivations to boot. The setting is interesting, the conflict is juicy, and it flows likemelted butter."
  • Blue: "Do I even need this scene? What purpose does it serve in the story? It introduces things I never use again, or takes a character in a different direction then they end up going. I'm bored. It isn't even really a scene; there's nothing happening here." (If you need to take notes or brainstorm, do it on a separate piece of paper or computer, noting the page you were reading when you were having the thoughts.)
  • Orange: "Is this scene redundant? Does it do something that's been done by another scene earlier?" (Look back and note the page of the earlier duplication. In highlighter. Put down that pen. We're not at the word choice level yet, and pens encourage wordsmithing.)
  • Yellow: "I'm lost. This scene is jumpy and doesn't make much sense. I need it here--the story or the character can't progress where I need them to go without it--but it doesn't make much sense to me. Or... the scene before and the scene after need a scene in between them. Things are happening that don't make sense without some sort of additional scene inserted here. Or... things aren't adding up in this scene. I need to go backward and plug in something to make this seem logical." (brainstorm on the computer or on paper--not on the marked-up page.)
  • Pink: "This scene doesn't seem consistent with what I was writing earlier. Something about it just seems off, like it's about different characters or like it's a team effort where the writers stopped talking to each other." (brainstorm on the computer or on paper--not on the marked-up page.)
Next, it's time to fix it:

Save the piece as "Story, v2.0"
  • Celebrate the green stuff. It'll need work later, but not yet. Still, read it over a few times, and try to figure out what made it pop for you. Decide if what you've done in that scene can be used in other scenes (in an abstract fashion--did you like the way it flowed or built? Did you like the character interactions, the humor, the way it amplified your themes?) and, in the cleaning up the rest of the highlighting, see where those lessons can be applied.
  • Decide what purpose the blue stuff -is- serving, if it's serving any. If it's not--if it's not advancing the story, depthening the characters, or building up the setting (preferably more than one at the same time)--cut it and save it in a Deleted Scenes folder.
  • Decide if the orange stuff is redundant or reinforcing, if it's echoing to build something or if it's just repeating the same stuff over and over to no good end. Think of it as a piece of music; is this a chorus or a verse? Verses shouldn't repeat; choruses can.
  • Fix all the yellow stuff. Make sure you know what you need to be happening in these scenes, and make sure it's happening and that it's clearly communicated. Write the missing scenes.
  • Fix the pink stuff. Figure out who you want the characters to be, what you want the writing style to be, and rewrite so that it works the way you want it to.
Save it. Print it again. Pick up the highlighters, and read on a paragraph level:
  • Green: "Dude, this paragraph rocks! I still can't believe I wrote it!" (What made it so? How can you use the lessons learned in other paragraphs?)
  • Blue: "I'm bored. The scene works but this paragraph is doing nothing for me. Do I need to fix it because it's necessary, or can I just delete the whole damn thing?"
  • Orange: "Didn't I say this six chapters ago? Didn't I say it earlier in the scene, in a slightly different fashion? Do I need it?"
  • Yellow: "I'm lost. The scene makes perfect sense, now, but this paragraph is all over the place."
  • Pink: "Didn't I say something -else- six chapters ago, or earlier in the scene?"
Save a Version 3, and fix it up on the keyboard.

Go through it again on the keyboard. Clarify all the yellow spots. Decide if you need to keep the blue spots. Decide what to do about the orange spots--does the stuff need to be in both places, just one, or neither? Clean up the pink spots. Enjoy the green spots.

Save it again. Print it again. Sensing a trend? Sentence level, this time.
  • Green: "This sentence rocks!" (Why? Can I use those tricks elsewhere?)
  • Blue: "Could this sentence be more concise? Am I rambling here? Too many sentences for too few thoughts? Vice versa?"
  • Orange: "Have I used this sentence structure too often? Do I do the same thing with this sentence that I did with an earlier sentence, without any intention to it?"
  • Yellow: "The paragraph moves just fine, but this sentence is jumbly or jumpy."
  • Pink: "Are all the sentences consistent with the character's voice? Is the detail level consistent where it needs to be?"
Save it as v4. Edit it on the computer. Print it. Get out the red pen; now it's going to be useful.

For v5, be nitpicky. Go through and wordsmith. If there's a phrase that could be a single word, find that word. If there's a word that needs to be a phrase because the word itself isn't evocative enough, write that phrase. Rearrange sentences in the paragraphs so the flow is better. Delete individual words that don't carry their weight. Fix spelling mistakes and typos. Apply all the lessons learned in what you did right (the green stuff), and in how you addressed the other stuff (the other colors).

v5 is when you really get into the "can I use seven words instead of ten" mode. Up to then (and maybe in v4, to an extent), it's really about making sure the story itself works. There's little point to wordsmithing when one is working with rotten ore.

...and that's one way it occurs to me that one might try to systematically and effectively improve one's story/book. A weakness in the method is that it doesn't very well address the things that -aren't- there, but only suggests ways to look at what -is- there. Thoughts on how to address missing stuff in the context of this method would be welcome; so would other editing methods.

Hope it helps someone with something!
 

Shady Lane

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Hey--

I like this plan, and it also sounds super-fun. I'll definitely try it for the WIP.
 

KPfeif

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I asked OfficeMax how much it would be to print out a 375 page book. 45 bucks. 12 cents a page. Granted, that's like, a business and it's more pricey but fact of the matter is...that's 225 dollars of editing right there...I'm in college.
 

jdparadise

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I asked OfficeMax how much it would be to print out a 375 page book. 45 bucks. 12 cents a page. Granted, that's like, a business and it's more pricey but fact of the matter is...that's 225 dollars of editing right there...I'm in college.



I'd think it wouldn't work as well, but you could also use different color highlighting in your word processor if you liked the plan and wanted to try it.


If you're in college, can't you use your computer labs' printers for free? ;o)
 

KPfeif

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I'd think it wouldn't work as well, but you could also use different color highlighting in your word processor if you liked the plan and wanted to try it.


If you're in college, can't you use your computer labs' printers for free? ;o)

mmmm. You get so many free pages in the library and then you can get unlimited for your major but I'm too new to even have an advisor yet let alone use their labs...One day it'll be viable.
 

JoNightshade

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I asked OfficeMax how much it would be to print out a 375 page book. 45 bucks. 12 cents a page. Granted, that's like, a business and it's more pricey but fact of the matter is...that's 225 dollars of editing right there...I'm in college.

You can get an older printer, maybe even black and white, super cheap these days. Try ebay or craigslist. Heck, I threw one away a few months ago, so you might find one for free. Ink cartridge, $20, ream of paper, $15. When you print, set it on "fast and crappy" or whatever that option is; it uses the least ink.
 

ALG71

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I like this plan too. I might try it out in my next WIP.

KPfeif, if you have a computer/printer, check out ebay for refilled cartridges for your printer. I got 2 for under 20 bucks total for my printer. It's only early drafts, you don't need to spend alot on them. 1 cartridge printed 320 pages or so of a draft, about 60 pages of character profiles that I've been trying to use to keep track of my characters, another 30 pages or so in synopsis drafts. And I've still got ink in the first cartridge.

P.S. KPfeif, If you're really scrounging and need to save on paper too, and you have decent eyes, maybe use 10point font and 1.5 spaced lines for the early drafts that you highlight. All of that combined, you'd probably get 3 or 4 drafts out of the same $45 you'd spend at OfficeMax.
 
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KPfeif

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mmmm. I've got an inkjet and those take years to print. I'd be a geezer. Laserjet printers are awesome, man if I had one of those...

I printed my first draft in a high school lab. Before class every day I'd steal in there and print it out.

And lol...my first draft is already 375 pages 10 point 1.5... :D much editing comin up soon? oh yes. :)

I'll probably just use my college ins that I can find here but that's a lotta manuscripts!! lol.

But thanks for tryin to help me out!!
 

EriRae

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I LOVE this plan! Great idea. I also have printer problems (HP...don't ask) so I use the highlight function in Word all the time. I was able to print the post, however :)
 

JoniBGoode

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mmmm. I've got an inkjet and those take years to print. I'd be a geezer. Laserjet printers are awesome, man if I had one of those...

I printed my first draft in a high school lab. Before class every day I'd steal in there and print it out.

And lol...my first draft is already 375 pages 10 point 1.5... :D much editing comin up soon? oh yes. :)

I'll probably just use my college ins that I can find here but that's a lotta manuscripts!! lol.

But thanks for tryin to help me out!!

It might be worth saving up to buy the cheapest laser printer that you can find...or a used one. Laser printers cost as little as $.05 per page to print. Yes, that's still about $19 per manuscript, but that's a lot better than $45. (Toner is expensive, but it lasts a long, long time.)

I know that when I'm editing, I see things on the page that I would never notice on the screen.
 

Karen Junker

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Heh. I used up about one printer per year with the number of pages I was printing out.
It seems as if the cheapest way to use this editing method is to use the highlighter in Word. Now if I can only find the highlighter in Word 7.0...
 

jedimaster107

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I'm spoiled. :D I do all my printing at work. I have a laserjet right next to my computer. No one knows how much paper and toner i go through. I do the ordering and changes the toner. Inkjet printers do suck when you have to print more then like 5 pages. I use to have one many years go.

What's this about no red pen? i use a red pen when i do corrections. then i highlight the corrections. it makes it easier to read when working on the computer.
 

ishtar'sgate

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I don't like to write junk - ever. Rough draft or not, it has to work from the get-go. If it sucks to begin with then the stink will be far worse than Limburger once it's ages. I agree that aging is necessary to distance yourself from your work and gain perspective. I always do that. No red pen? Hah! That's the first color I use. I go through the entire hard copy editing in red. If I used different colors for different things I'd drive myself crazy. This scene rocks? I don't touch it. This scene isn't necessary? I cross it out - in red. Redundant? Same thing and so on. I set it aside again then use another color to fine edit and indicate where I'm adding new scenes or moving them around. Five edits is an awful lot. I suppose it works for some. I like to edit as I go and then I usually only need two more edits - one broad edit in red and one fine edit in another color that suits me. Usually green. I like green.
 

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I don't like to write junk - ever. Rough draft or not, it has to work from the get-go. If it sucks to begin with then the stink will be far worse than Limburger once it's ages. I agree that aging is necessary to distance yourself from your work and gain perspective. I always do that. No red pen? Hah! That's the first color I use. I go through the entire hard copy editing in red.
Welcome to AW. I like you already.
 

Red Robin

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Very systematic, but many would benefit from such a structure. Like myself :) I'm very chaotic with my ideas, and I write all over the place. Having a strict procedure to follow after v1 can only be useful. I just might employ a version of this for myself!
 

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I asked OfficeMax how much it would be to print out a 375 page book. 45 bucks. 12 cents a page. Granted, that's like, a business and it's more pricey but fact of the matter is...that's 225 dollars of editing right there...I'm in college.

Jeez, you can buy brand new printers for around $60. I just bought one (my new laptop doesn't have the old parallel printer port that 'puters used to have, so I needed something that would print from a USB port) for around $60, and it prints beautifully at blinding speed.
 

wayndom

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Regarding the whole rewrite method, maybe it's just me, but I find this way too complicated. I generally do three rewrites: First one is all cutting. I used to psych myself up for it by putting myself in a "hunter-killer" frame of mind. Any word, phrase, sentence or paragraph that couldn't totally justify its existence died a mercifully quick death. Later, when I actually read some books on novel-writing, I discovered many novelists do the exact same thing (the psyching-up thing). Reason being, when you're cutting, you're "killing your babies." Every word you wrote is dear to you, so in order to do what's necessary, you have to put yourself in a sadistic frame of mind. Sounds weird, but it's true.

Next rewrite is to find the parts where not enough was said, and flesh them out. Not a whole lot...

Final rewrite is just a once-over for pace, mood and suchlike. Oh, yeah, and the third rewrite has to be read from paper, not the computer screen. Don't know why, but for some reason words read slightly differently when they're ink on paper.

During any rewrite, if I wonder whether a scene or statement is redundant, I use the "comment" feature in WordPerfect (or MS Word) to post my question, then before the last rewrite, I go through all the comments and check them out (I'd go crazy trying to check out these questions while in the middle of a cutting rewrite, and it would get too confusing, trying to do two things at once).

As I've mentioned before, I also note any "hmm..." moments. Anytime I think, "hmmm..." while reading, there's something wrong that has to be righted. Nine times out of ten, simply cutting the offending sentence does the trick.
 
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wayndom

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mmmm. I've got an inkjet and those take years to print. I'd be a geezer. Laserjet printers are awesome, man if I had one of those...

I have to wonder how old your inkjet printer is. I just bought the cheapest HP inkjet I could find (around $60), and it's about ten times faster than my ten year-old HP inkjet.
 

jdparadise

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I don't like to write junk - ever. Rough draft or not, it has to work from the get-go.

Y'know... I agree. And yet crap comes out anyway. Saying to myself "yeah, this is crap, I'll fix it in the next draft" lets me get on with telling the story while I'm still excited about it. Bogging down for an hour on a paragraph (I've done this an embarrassing number of times) just isn't as productive as I'd like to be.

No red pen? Hah! That's the first color I use. I go through the entire hard copy editing in red.

The thing I like about this system as I think about it (and it's half a thought experiment at this point, I should have made that clear) is that it's too easy to get caught up in line-level work when it's maybe chapter- or scene-level work that's needed. I've done that -so- many times, spent hours on a line or a paragraph or a page when really I'd be best suited getting rid of the whole page, or moving it, or changing its focus...

If I used different colors for different things I'd drive myself crazy. This scene rocks? I don't touch it.

See, I figure there's a middle ground--some stuff -won't- rock, but it won't be something that jumps out as needing edits anyway. The green marker is intended to draw out the things that I really like for further study and usage--as opposed to the "eh, it's there and it serves the purpose and it's workmanlike and I don't -need- to improve it but I wouldn't want to confuse it with stuff I'd like to see more of..."

That idea is based on a workshop I had with a storyteller named Jay O'Callahan (fabulous!). He went first, and at the end he asked for comments--but he specified that he didn't want negative comments, only positive. Not because he needed his ego stroked (he doesn't; he's that good and he knows it, but he's humble about it just the same in that way that only people who are really good at a thing can be), but because his goal isn't to have less stuff that people don't like--it's to have more stuff that people do like. So whether it's the tone of voice he was using, a specific image, a character's depiction... if we loved it above all the rest of the stuff, he wanted to know that so that he could get more of that voice or that character in (if it was appropriate to the story).

So, anyway, that's where the green marker bit came from.

Five edits is an awful lot. I suppose it works for some.

Yes, it is. But if this "system" works as I think it will when fully implemented, it's probably not as time-consuming as it sounds, because the reading and highlighting is an on-the-fly thing for at least the first, major-blockwork pass.

But, hey, whatever works for a particular person works for them. I'm not saying I'm right in any of this... and counter examples are always useful, either to poke holes or reaffirm belief. Thanks for your thoughts!
 

Azraelsbane

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I asked OfficeMax how much it would be to print out a 375 page book. 45 bucks. 12 cents a page. Granted, that's like, a business and it's more pricey but fact of the matter is...that's 225 dollars of editing right there...I'm in college.

If you do orders online it's tons cheaper. I had my 80k novel bound for hometown betas. 8 bucks a piece. Nice cover and back...looked great, held up nice. Definitely worth it. Although I use Staples.

And before Lily says anything, I'm talking about my 1st novel, Granite Windstarr, not the one I'm cleaning up for betas now. Don't worry, your copy is coming. I promise!
 

scribbler1382

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This definitely wouldn't work for me. Give me a red pen and some paper and I'm good. Best of luck to those who try it, though, and thanks for another thoughtful post, JD.

As far as printing goes, you can get a laser printer off ebay for $10 no problem. A cheap ream of paper for $3. That means the first copy of your novel would cost $12.25. (plus the shipping, whatever it is...find one that's local you can pick up...craiglist is good for that). The NEXT copy of your book, and all subsequent books, would cost 2.25. Whenever you have to buy a toner, you'd have to factor that in, as well. But it's still a HELL of a lot less than your price quote. Hell, it could be even less if you printed on both sides for your editing.

Best of luck.
 

ErylRavenwell

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The best plan is no plan at all. I like working in a chaotic environment. What is chaos but order too complicated for your average person to comprehend.
 

KPfeif

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I have to wonder how old your inkjet printer is. I just bought the cheapest HP inkjet I could find (around $60), and it's about ten times faster than my ten year-old HP inkjet.

I just bought a brand new one. or at least, the 'rents did. After the speed of laserjet, it's hard to go back. And inkjets are just so...inky. Idunno. And ink is expensive.

I'm just not in a very good position to buy a printer right now, but it'll work.

I'll just highlight in word if i decide to do that. It'll be easier to review anyway.
 
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