Always a good suggestion here...

boys + Midwest + high school = Friday night football.

Have you thought of including a love interest for one, or more, of the characters?

Perhaps the victim has a sister - set the story up so you have the reader wondering if revenge has been sought by said sister. Then twist it so that the sister starts hunting the killer. In the final confrontation she shoots the killer - only to discover it was her mother she shot.

JJ

I think what JJ said was a good idea. If they think a female did the killing and the victim has a sister, that could be an interesting plot. Good luck

Can I just tell you that this sounds wicked awesome?

Shady Lane said:

Can I just tell you that this sounds wicked awesome?

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Thanks Shady Lane. Didn't take me long to come up with the sister bit really. Just sort of flowed on from the OP IMO...ahh, you're talking about the OP. Righto.

JJ

Sister? I was totally going with transsexual (or cross-dresser, at the very least).

What about hockey? It would stand out more. In Wisconsin, a former classmate of mine lost his job coaching hockey due to serious hazing. Perhaps there could be a twisted adult who influenced the kids.

edfrzr said:

I guess what I am looking for is a behind the scenes protagonistic storyline that haunts the heroic (investigator) character and may lend itself to a sequel.

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Seems to me that you answered your own question. Sounds like a touch of the supernatural is required. If your victim dies 1/3 of the way through, maybe something from beyond the grave is stirring. Maybe the little sister who did the threatening has some power to harness the strength of her dead (and now angry, since the victim is now with them) ancestors - that is why eyewitnesses see a female assailant but forensics keep turning up DNA evidence from people long since dead, channeled through the sister. Makes an interesting mystery for your investigator - when she goes to find the killer based on forensic evidence and then discovers they've been dead for years.

I too think that this is an awesome premise for a story.

Any chance you'll tell us, uh, whodunnit? I would like to know.

Stuart Clark has an excelent idea there. Something along those lines would make the mystery hard to discover, the truth is out there as the Xfiles say. The detective in your story would have to use more than his/her instincts on this one and I think it would make an excelent story.

Amber

Thanks Amber

Further to the previous post, edfrzr, you could also have the sister channel a different relative each time, thereby creating more of a mystery since the forensic evidence shows a different killer at each crime - only thing is, they're all dead.

I'm also thinking about how you tie in the Midwest into all of this. If you like the supernatural angle, could you research hauntings in the midwest? Maybe the assault takes place at a site known for hauntings or a weird goings on - maybe they challenge your victim to go to this place as part of their bullying, to prove himself, and then assault him there - and it's the karma of the place and it's link to the spiritual world which first awakens the family spirits.

Dunno, just throwing stuff out there.

As a reader, I'd close the book as soon as a supernatural angle came into it - I just hate that!
I would prefer something like a love connection between the sister and one of the attackers - maybe she doesn't realize at first that he was an attacker, and finds out AFTER she falls in love with him?

Try adding a copycat killing. It fits everything that the investigator knows to that point, but is a purely random act. Or perhaps the first few victims just happen to have something in common (other than the act) perhaps a small business that went bust or something-- and it looks like the victim of that is getting in the act.

Hmm...I'd explore the possibilites of a love angle as well, a woman who was somehow tangentially related to the attack/victim/killer and then becomes involved with the hero...only to have him eventually wind up investigating her role in it? You could do something with the hero's emotional involvement here.

Like your storyline idea, really.

Lawsuit from another hazing victim?

What about something with a teacher? An unusually close relationship with the victim and a sudden and suspicious departure from teaching at that school or teaching in general around the time of the incident.

(I'm not actually sure I understand what you're asking for, so if this is totally off base, don't mind me. )

waylander said:

Lawsuit from another hazing victim?

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At least, a detective who investigates other hazings and interviews several victims, all of whose lives are in terrible shambles: drug addicts, constantly unemployed drifter, twice-divorced wife beater, gay pornographer, convicted petty larcenist. The possibilities are endless!!!

J

If I understand what you are thinking of, it reminds of a story line/ twist from a John Grisham book -- though I tend to think his books are too forumlaic, The Last Juror was different, and the final twists came from subplots that seemed innocuous along the way. Other subplots that you just knew were going to be important turned out to be red herrings. He did a great job of building the suspense through these subplots & leading you to believe one thing was going on, but really something else was.

Like I said, I am not really a JG fan, but that particular book is a great example of suspense & weaving subplots.


wee

gotta go with the catholic priest here. what the investigator finally gets out of the reluctant priest has nothing to do with the current case, but can be the springboard for the sequel. plus, conflicted religious types are often interesting when they think they've something to add but have to keep quiet because of the sanctity of the confessional. and we all know catholic school kids are the vilest creatures on earth. j/k. however, catholic schools usually have outstanding athletic programmes (at least in ohio, where they're allowed to recruit players as opposed to public schools what have to make due with what they've got by law (and if you believe that little rule isn't broken, i've got a bridge for sale). oh, the things one learns when you make trophies for a living), which almost guarantees a high profile and exceptional team. plus, many of the kids can come from either very privileged or very poor backgrounds, making for interesting dynamics there. and i'd keep it football, which is what the midwest cares about above most other sports except maybe basketball (not really, it's more about football when you're talking about the high school level ~ college BB is huge, but this story doesn't start in college, eh?). no offense to the previous poster, but not enough people give a shit about hockey to appeal to the broadest audience, imo. might as well have them be wrestlers if you don't want football.

you're having the head chearleader gang-banged, right? i would... or maybe that's just me.