Beginning chapters-character names

Azraelsbane · Aug 22, 2007

Okay, so this is probably just me being anal, but I'm going to ask anyway. Feel free to point and laugh.

I'm currently in heavy editing, and I'm specifically working on the beginning chapters at the moment. Now, the first two chapters are from different POVs, and of characters that are in no way related to one another (thus far). However, the third chapter is from the POV of a character that is introduced in chapter 2. Can I just put his first name in the beginning line of chapter 3, or would I need his first and last to keep the feel that this isn't just another char with the same first name?

I'm pretty sure the answer is, "Are you stupid? First name is plenty," but I wasn't sure since the pov char hops so much from chapter 1 to 2 (basically a different storyline within the novel). I don't want the reader to think this is storyline #3.

Am I simply doing a wordier version of "swap the comma" editing here, or what?

OverTheHills&FarAway · Aug 22, 2007

Hmm... I'd trust the reader to figure it out. And, if they spend a few paragraphs unsure who this is and what's going on, all the better. Gets them engaged. They should be able to pick up on what's going on after a while.

And if not, maybe they shouldn't be reading in the first place.

I know I like a little mystery and detective work in the stories I read. I don't exactly want stories handed to me on a silver platter.

Unless, I get to keep the platter, and maybe sell it on eBay...

JoNightshade · Aug 22, 2007

You're swapping commas here.

But can't you indicate who he is in some other way? IE, appearance, wardrobe, location, memory, etc.? His name can't be the ONLY cue-in there is.

Shady Lane · Aug 22, 2007

*Points and laughs*

I agree with Jo (EVERYONE GASP IN SHOCK) but I also think first name will be enough.

Azraelsbane · Aug 22, 2007

JoNightshade said:
You're swapping commas here. But can't you indicate who he is in some other way? IE, appearance, wardrobe, location, memory, etc.? His name can't be the ONLY cue-in there is.

Yeah, it's pretty obvious after the first line (this one actually IS the chapter you did a crit on, lol). I'm just freakin' out here. I just axed my entire 2nd and 3rd chapters and rolled 12 pages of text into 3, so I'm a little angsty.

Thanks for the responses!

reenkam · Aug 22, 2007

I'd personally assume it was the same character, if the name was the same. If it turned out to be a different character with the same name, I think I'd be annoyed....

Shady Lane · Aug 22, 2007

I just read this book where there were too completely different characters named Rachael. One was a dumpy old woman who fit the main character's tuxedo and the other was a skanky lead singer in a Yeah Yeah Yeahs impersonator band. I was SO mad. Rachael isn't even a real name!

ETA: Okay, so I don't offend anybody, I'm sure it's a real name, it's just a very distinctive one that I don't think the author should have used twice.

But the book was really bad anyway.

Azraelsbane · Aug 22, 2007

Shady Lane said:
I just read this book where there were too completely different characters named Rachael. One was a dumpy old woman who fit the main character's tuxedo and the other was a skanky lead singer in a Yeah Yeah Yeahs impersonator band. I was SO mad. Rachael isn't even a real name!

ETA: Okay, so I don't offend anybody, I'm sure it's a real name, it's just a very distinctive one that I don't think the author should have used twice.

But the book was really bad anyway.

LoL. There are no repeat names in my series, unless you count people named after their fathers, though they have nicknames and both die off pretty quickly anyway.

Shady Lane · Aug 22, 2007

You had me at "die off pretty quickly."

Azraelsbane · Aug 22, 2007

Shady Lane said:
You had me at "die off pretty quickly."

LoL. Too bad one of my MCs is a woman, so not up your alley. With all the bisexual angels, destruction, death, and love triangles...I'd think it'd be kinda your cup of tea. Unless I've judged you wrong.

~grace~ · Aug 22, 2007

OverTheHills&FarAway said:
And, if they spend a few paragraphs unsure who this is and what's going on, all the better. Gets them engaged. They should be able to pick up on what's going on after a while.

But not too long of a while. I will put up with a little bit of "huh?" but if I'm confused for a long time I'll get annoyed. I'd say try it on beta readers, and if they are still confused after three or four paragraphs, change something.

Azraelsbane · Aug 22, 2007

alternatefish said:
But not too long of a while. I will put up with a little bit of "huh?" but if I'm confused for a long time I'll get annoyed. I'd say try it on beta readers, and if they are still confused after three or four paragraphs, change something.

Well it mentions his son as such in the first paragraph (just a few sentences down). And his son is the pov char from chapter 2. So...I think I'm fine. Sorry to bug you guys, but thanks for the responses!

Shady Lane · Aug 22, 2007

Azraelsbane said:
LoL. Too bad one of my MCs is a woman, so not up your alley. With all the bisexual angels, destruction, death, and love triangles...I'd think it'd be kinda your cup of tea. Unless I've judged you wrong.

Had me at "bisexual angels" this time. Haven't judged me wrong at all.

You should see how much trouble I give Jo about her female MC. Those damn girls.

reenkam · Aug 22, 2007

Azraelsbane said:
With all the bisexual angels, destruction, death, and love triangles...

Sounds like a party. :partyguy:

JoNightshade · Aug 22, 2007

Shady Lane said:
Had me at "bisexual angels" this time. Haven't judged me wrong at all.

You should see how much trouble I give Jo about her female MC. Those damn girls.

She's not kidding, Azrael! Watch out! Shady will scratch the eyes out of your female MC!!!*

*But then you will realize what's wrong with them and make your story 100% better.

Shady Lane · Aug 22, 2007

Just call me Shadybeast.

wayndom · Aug 22, 2007

For this kind of thing, I go the, "When in doubt, remove all doubt" route.

The one thing that can make multiple POV's a negative is reader confusion.

If it were me, I'd introduce the character by name (maybe only first, considering what comes next), then use some trait other than her name that clearly identifies her as the same Jane as in the previous chapter.

Sort of vaguely related to this, I've always liked stories where, in the heat of dialogue, the quotes just go back and forth with no attribution. But, occasionally I've read stories that do this but introduce some subtlety that makes it unclear who's talking, and it's as annoying as hell.

So if I have two characters of the same gender ("he said," "he said") I use their names any time there's any question of who's who.

An extra little bit of identification won't hurt the story, but if the reader experiences any uncertainty over who it is, the story takes serious damage.

amber_grosjean · Aug 22, 2007

If no one else shares the first name, you are safe to use just that much information. Since the character has already been introduced, there isn't any more information needed unless you're adding to it or this character changed over the few pages. This does happen from time to time lol. But you should be all right using just the first name, or even the nickname if known already.

Amber

Sage · Aug 22, 2007

Shady Lane said:
Had me at "bisexual angels" this time.

Yeah, me too.

maestrowork · Aug 22, 2007

Trust your readers' intelligence, unless you have two characters of the same name.

Beginning chapters-character names

Azraelsbane

Agony is defeat

OverTheHills&FarAway

McNifico

JoNightshade

has finally arrived

Shady Lane

my name is hannah

Azraelsbane

Agony is defeat

reenkam

aka cupcake

Shady Lane

my name is hannah

Azraelsbane

Agony is defeat

Shady Lane

my name is hannah

Azraelsbane

Agony is defeat

~grace~

the good old days

Azraelsbane

Agony is defeat

Shady Lane

my name is hannah

reenkam

aka cupcake

JoNightshade

has finally arrived

Shady Lane

my name is hannah

wayndom

amber_grosjean

AW Addict

Sage

Our Lady of Parentheticals

maestrowork

Fear the Death Ray