Could use a few ideas

[SinkFulloDishes]

Since everyone here has given me such great advice and ideas in the past, I have a scenario for you from my WIP:

The protagonist is a 15-yr-old boy named Tyson. He has two adult half-brothers who tend to look out for him, since their mom (whom he lives with) isn't very good at being a mom. She loves them all, but has substance abuse issues; none of her three children were planned.

Within the first chapter, Ty has an opportunity to sleep with a girl who is trying to convince him that she can't get pregnant because her period just ended two days ago, but he declines because he's not sure she's right. He later reveals to his brother that he actually did have a condom with him, but that it kind of freaked him out that he's only known her for three weeks and she wants to sleep with him. This is all to give the reader some indication of how carefully Ty makes the decisions in his life based on all the mistakes he's seen his mother make.

So, what I'm looking for is a realistic comment for him to make about his previous girlfriend, as a comparison to this girl. Here is the sentence I'm working with:

"It had taken X weeks of dating for Ellen Paxton to be okay with me doing Y, so it kind of freaked me out that Jenna was so gung-ho to jump in the sack."

I'm looking for something realistic to insert in X and Y that won't sound like we're in the 50's, but that isn't crude (any time period for X is fine - days, weeks, months). Though he's being careful about not messing up his life, Ty isn't innocent, and is not necessarily a virgin.

Thanks for any input!

Liz

[Zoombie]

It had taken five dates for Ellen Paxton to be okay with petting, so it kind of freaks me out that Jenna was so gung-ho to jump in the sack.

[EriRae]

I'd stick with the 3 week time period: "It took 3 weeks for Ellen Paxton to let me French her." (French kiss) And maybe that was when he was 13 or 14... Maybe his previous relationship lasted awhile and he's just not used to girls being gung-ho for that reason.

Not sure what you mean by being crude, but did you think of oral sex? Seems all the kids are doing it these days and it's possible it took his first girlfriend three weeks to even think of doing that...It's pretty reasonable at that age for girls to think the guy's going to pee in her mouth. Ok. sorry. that's definitely crude.

Zoombie posted while I was typing...I like his idea better.

[Esopha]

4 weeks is just the right amount of time to let a guy touch the girls. And by the girls I mean breasts. So Zoombie's sentence is spot-on.

[Zoombie]

Woho! I got it right and I haven't even gone on ONE date!

[Esopha]

It's amusing that you're so pleased with yourself. :D

[Zoombie]

;)

Well, I'd rather have a single amazing relationship than a thousand bad ones. Or that's what I keep saying to myself...

[SinkFulloDishes]

Okay, good, these suggestions are exactly along the lines I was thinking, but I didn't want to sound way off the mark.

Erinmiller77 - As far as crude, I was speaking more about how he worded what had happened rather than what had actually happened. Later on in the story Ty is having an argument with his previously-estranged father about how naive Ty's 12-yr-old half-sister is, and Ty comments that she doesn't even know what a blow job is.

That's interesting what you said, though, about girls that age thinking the guy will pee in her mouth. I actually remember sitting outside before school in 7th grade one morning when one of my friends started recounting a movie she'd come across (back when cable was the new thing, lol) where the guy was performing oral sex on the woman. Everyone was laughing and kind of disgusted, and the girl said, "I mean, what if she had to pee or something?" I totally forgot that until now! Man, we were so innocent back then...;)

I know things are a lot different now, though, so the choices I was debating between were:
- French kissing
- sliding a hand up her shirt
- a hand job

Thanks again, you all are awesome!

Liz

[Zoombie]

Hey, one of the first questions in my sex ed class was from a girl and it was: "What if the man pees inside me?"

[reenkam]

That is kind of a good question, though....

[Esopha]

It's one I always wondered about, until the slightly more in-depth version of health class in 8th grade. >>;

Liz, a hand job is probably a no-no.

[reenkam]

At 15 a handjob really wouldn't be very unusual, these days.

[Esopha]

After 4 weeks?

Well, I am more prudent than most.

[reenkam]

It all depends on the person and place. I live in the suburbs, a small town, and I had friends who had sex in 6th grade. I don't think she did it again til like 8th grade, though. I know of someone who would give "favors" to boys afterschool in like 7th grade. And she wasn't dating any of them.

[Esopha]

I'd think that the MC's last girlfriend would be a little more conservative, if he's so freaked out that his current one wants to get it on.

But you're right, a lot of these decisions are made depending on the person and the place.

[reenkam]

Yeah, I definitely agree that in this instance it would work fine. A really careful person would be a lot more cautious about things like that. Going by number of dates is probably the best idea.

[Zoombie]

That is kind of a good question, though....

It is physiologically impossible for a man to urinate inside of a woman during sex. The tubing gets changed around by the erection!

[SinkFulloDishes]

I'd think that the MC's last girlfriend would be a little more conservative, if he's so freaked out that his current one wants to get it on.

That's what I was thinking, since he tends to be more attracted to girls who aren't too much like his mother (i.e. more conservative). At the same time, I'm trying to gauge what falls under "mostly conservative" these days. My sister lives in the small town we grew up in, and recently told me that her sister-in-law's son had friends who were engaging in oral sex at 13 and 14 years old. One of them was caught with the local dentist's niece (by the dentist himself, in his own attic) when nobody was supposed to be home and she was supposed to be at a friend's house.

My character lives in populated area on the outskirts of a city, so he's been exposed to a lot (not to mention the fact that his brothers had a big influence on the things he was exposed to; as mid-to-late teens when he was young, they weren't as discriminating as a parent would be with respect to what they said and did around him).

I'll probably go with the hand-up-the-shirt maneuver.

[TurkeyLurkey]

2nd or 3rd base isn't that unusual.

I was much more experimental in middle school than in high school. (During the 80s)

Actually I did a complete 180 in high school, and became a "Daria" who thought that teen boys were "Like, Sooo Immature!"

I was bummed to find out that they were immature in college too. (most of them anyway)

[Soccer Mom]

:wonders if she should warn them that boys DON't get any more mature:

[reenkam]

It is physiologically impossible for a man to urinate inside of a woman during sex. The tubing gets changed around by the erection!

What if he tried reeeaaaalllll hard?

I feel like it could happen....and it would be gross.

[TurkeyLurkey]

:wonders if she should warn them that boys DON't get any more mature:

Yes, we should tell them!

Married for 10 years.... They don't get any more mature. :partyguy:

Cuter though!

[TurkeyLurkey]

What if he tried reeeaaaalllll hard?

I feel like it could happen....and it would be gross.

Nope, not a chance.
Besides, why would he try?

Don't answer that!
NM... this thread is getting too explicit for me... gonna go watch Barney now.

[Stijn Hommes]

I'd assume the half brothers would know his previous girlfriend, so I don't see any reason for Tyson to use her last name.

[SinkFulloDishes]

I'd assume the half brothers would know his previous girlfriend, so I don't see any reason for Tyson to use her last name.

Sorry for the confusion; the sentence I put in quotes in my OP is not a quote in the story. It's not something Ty says out loud. These are the two paragraphs (with the completed sentence from my OP), to give a bit more context:

It was so quiet for the next few minutes that I started thinking Cray had fallen asleep, so I actually jumped when his voice cut through the darkness. “Do I need to lay here all night wondering what you would have done if you’d had a rubber on you?”

I bit my top lip and let it slide back out from under my teeth. “She’s okay, but not my type. You know? Plus, I mean, we just met and all.” It had taken three weeks of dating for Ellen Paxton to be okay with me sliding my hand up the front of her shirt, so it kind of freaked me out that Jenna was so gung-ho to jump in the sack. I tossed Cray’s pillow back up onto the bed. “Anyway, I did have one with me.”

[Maprilynne]

Wow, this is totally off topic, but I can't see any 15 year-old saying "gung-ho to jump in the sack." Am I out of touch?

This line----"Do I need to lay here all night wondering what you would have done if you’d had a rubber on you?” Totally on!!

[Esopha]

I say 'gung-ho.'

Of course, I usually tack some sort of obscenity to the front of it. I'm flipping gung-ho about my obscenities.

[SinkFulloDishes]

Wow, this is totally off topic, but I can't see any 15 year-old saying "gung-ho to jump in the sack." Am I out of touch?

Hmm, that's a good question. Comments or suggestions, anyone? I would definitely change it if it's too outdated or comes off as having been written by a 37-year-old woman :D.

[reenkam]

I don't know anyone who really says gung-ho while being serious. Or jump in the sack. something like "ready to do it" or "ready to go all the way" might work better.

I guess it depends on the person, though...if it's part of his personality to say something like that, it could work.

[SinkFulloDishes]

I don't know anyone who really says gung-ho while being serious. Or jump in the sack. something like "ready to do it" or "ready to go all the way" might work better.

I guess it depends on the person, though...if it's part of his personality to say something like that, it could work.

It might work as-is, then, because it's intended to come across with a slightly humorous tone, rather than heavy or too serious. It's supposed to stand out as something along the lines of ludicrous, rather than just a statement of what the girl was interested in (i.e. "...so it kind of freaked me out that Jenna wanted to have sex."). I think I'm going to have to write it out a few different ways, though, to see if there's a better way to fit it into the scene. Thanks for the suggestions!

[Zoombie]

The last time I heard the word gung-ho was in the show "Space: Above and Beyond."

But it sounds like something I'd say.

Which should give you pause for thought. Just look at my first line in this post and you can see the wackiness already start to accumulate.

[VisionScript]

"It had taken X weeks of dating for Ellen Paxton to be okay with me doing Y, so it kind of freaked me out that Jenna was so gung-ho to jump in the sack."



I kind of like what you have there: "It had taken X weeks of dating for Ellen Paxton to be okay with me doing Y, so it's kinda freaking me out that Jenna's already wanting to take z all the way Hollywood." or Canada or all the way to Buddha on the side of the road? (from this book, IF YOU MEET BUDDHA ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD, KILL HIM).... I don't know what would be a significant phrase for this kid.

How about it's kinda freaking me out that Jenna's wanting to take z all the way to meth (or his mother's drug) heaven.

Or something like that.

OOH! How about she's wanting to rattle my gonads. Okay, I'll quit now.

[Moon Daughter]

To comment on an earlier post, I think after four weeks of the relationship (if you had to choose between a hand job, sliding a hand up the shirt, or a french kiss), sliding his hand up the girl's shirt seems the most likely. Kids nowadays would probably french kiss on the first date.

[TurkeyLurkey]

Kids in my day French kissed in front of a spinning bottle.

[EriRae]

"Jenna already wants to f*ck (or freak with me, or do it). I'm that guy, who has girls who want to f*ck on a first date! Who'd have thought? I mean, It took two weeks for Ellen to let me feel her up!"

*doesn't french kiss on a first date...or, like ever.* My husband has this phobia that he's going to choke or something.