Holiday Letters

[UrbanMuse]

I have been assigned to write a piece on crafting a winning holiday letter (you know, those letters that people send with Christmas cards). The original source that I queried with has gone MIA, so I wondered if anyone else on the boards has earned money by writing or editing holiday letters for others? If so, would you be able to offer some pointers and be quoted as an expert source? Message me if you think you might fit this description!
Susan

[Horseshoes]

On the list of Don'ts would be including any bowel-related information.

[Maryn]

We have a betting pool at our house over how many times the words Jesus and Lord will appear in the Christmas letter of our most religious relative before the pitch for money to help them spread the gospel of Jesus Christ our Lord.

So my tip is to keep one's religious beliefs out of it, beyond acknowledging Christmas as a holiday you both celebrate, and never use the letter to hit up your relatives for money.

Maryn, who otherwise likes these relatives just fine

[UrbanMuse]

Thank you both! Has anyone thought about doing a side business in writing holiday letters? I thought I might post on Craig's List this winter and see if I can stir up some business that way.

[RebaAZ]

Every year I write a tongue-in-cheek holiday letter and usually offend several relatives, depending on the style that year. But most respond that they're a welcome diversion from the usual bragging and posturing...

[Maryn]

We don't send out serious letters, but one year we wrote that this Christmas we were blessed because not one of us was in jail or even on probation. People we'd kind of lost touch with except at Christmas expressed concern, not recognizing our subtlety or humor.

Maryn, refusing to admit it wasn't actually funny

[Shwebb]

I'd laugh at it, Maryn.

David Sedaris did a short fiction piece in Barrel Fever and satirized the format. Did a brilliant job of a woman bragging on her family whilst they were in all sorts of illegal and immoral hijinks. I wish more people did their letters at Christmas like that.

Let us know how that works for you, Susan! Good luck. You might have something, there.

[FloVoyager]

Personally, I hate writing these darn things. Probably a lot of other people do too. But for money? I could write someone else's. Sounds like a pretty good holiday home business, actually.

And thanks for all the great ideas for how to liven up this year's letter:

...Husband's colonoscopy went well. Now if we can just do something about Grandpa's ingrown toenails, we'll be fine. Bail fund is full up, as no one has been arrested this year. We're going to buy a new wide-screen TV for the family room. Got a lovely new livingroom rug, after we discovered the dog was using the old one as a emergency rest room. That, and a little training, got rid of the funny smell. Yippee...