What is your novelist fantasy (non-sexual, that is)?

I want to have my picture in Entertainment Weekly. I want to get compared to F. Scott Fitzgerald and John Irving. I want hardcovers. I want paperazzi.

The big, thing, though...I saw J.K. Rowling and John Irving and Stephen King do a reading at Radio City Music Hall last year. People just stood up and cheered. I want to read there, and I want to stand there and listen to people cheer, and I want to cry right there on stage. And I want them to clap even harder when I start crying.

No, I don't think about this stuff.

My publicist sends a copy of Schoolhouse Five to Bill O'Reily, and we have a heated discussion on the future of the Nazi party here in the US, Bill denying that anything like that could happen, while I point out that the religious Right is already very close to making it a reality.

I'm on Oprah's book club AND she invites me to be in the audience for the "Favorite Things" show.

I go to a book signing and my ex-boyfriend shows up and wants a free copy...and I have security show him to the door.

I have many more, but these are the most recurring.

I want Terry Pratchett to come up to me and say, "I loved your book."

At which point I will respond, "Me!? Which one?"

And he will say, "All of them. Do you want to co-write a book with me?"

And I will be dead. Because of happiness.

Erinmiller77 said:

I go to a book signing and my ex-boyfriend shows up and wants a free copy...and I have security show him to the door.

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ROTFL! That is AWESOME! I may borrow that fantasy for myself too. LOL.

I want to wallow in obscurity and have no one ever know my name.

Oh, wait, you said fantasy - not reality?

That's easy:

I'll be discovered by the next agent who reads my query - get a modest advance but when the book hits the shelves, it becomes an instant success! The popularity will boggle the minds of critics, and excite Hollywood - where I'm invited to write the screen adaptation of my novel, and I'm given full control of the casting and set decoration.

That movie is a huge hit, and I'm already being paid ginormous amounts for the sequels - three of which are already completed and destined for greatness. I go on book tours, I snub Oprah, I have lines of people at every signing - I'm now so wealthy I quit my day job, buy a larger, fancier house but I wander down to a local watering hole to write every day, drawing huge crowds who are too polite to bother me with anything more than a polite Hello.

Then I --- Oh dang, the drugs just wore off.

I want to be published so that people can read my stories and get lost in them. My main writing goal has always been to give the gift of escape I cherished so much when I was a child.

I want the one lit teacher I really liked to ask for a signed copy. Then I could write in it: "All my classmates were terrible, but you were great and you've gotten me addicted to Bob Dylan. Thanks!"

And I just want to see the movie trailer for my book. I think the trailer would excite me more than the actual film. Becuase trailers are cool that way.

And I've always wanted a phone conversation to go like this:

"Worst book you've ever read? Well, my next one will be better...uh, hello? Hello?"

I want to win the Booker at least once, preferably twice.

I guess I would want it to get a bit of publicity like perhaps seeing a poster of it on the windows of a bookstore. That would actually freak me out.

I guess a simple book marker with the image of my book would be enough.

I really wouldn't want to give a lot of interviews, if it ever got to be a big phenomenon, because I bet I would ruin them in a matter of seconds because I always deviate from the subjects.

I think the only thing that I would really really want my book to give to me is a film out of it. I think it is film material...

That would be extremely interesting to watch and actually participate in if I was allowed to be in a small role or in the art department.
In fact I would want to keep all the art developed for the film becuase I'm like that.

I would then ask for the film sets to be actually built as permanent buildings and rooms to remain on the places after the film is shot so people can visit them.

Seeing people write fanfiction with my characters and my world would, I think, make my ideas grow so much bigger than I made them up in the beggining.

I would actually want a prize for writing such a weird and quite honestly original story. I wouldn't want to give a speech though I would ruin it and not know what to say.
and applause would be great. Not just a few claps. J.K.Rowling public reading sort of audience.

I would want people to tell me "Oh, it's just so different! I'll mention it everytime I can in conversations."

Getting on oprah would be pretty interesting but I doubt the story would ever motivate her to invite me over...specially because I live on the other side of the ocean.
I
would really like to get this sort of fame for writing extreme stuff.
But honestly I want to be surprised and not expect big things coming out of this.
First I'm writing for me. I'll try to get it published, and if it does it'll most likely create this small fan base.

I'd like to see my book(s) under the "so-and-so recommends" shelves in every Barnes and Noble I go to.

I'd like a movie made of my book.

I'd like to make enough to not have to have a day job--and to be able to install my parents in that nice little French villa they've always wanted and have enough leftover to get a couple for myself as well.

I'd like people to look at me and say, "Hey, aren't you that famous author...?"

But mostly, I'd just like to be published.

To be back under the umbrella in my avatar, with a super cool brand new laptop with wifi and all the ice cold beer I can handle.....writing.

I've had every fantasy from fame and fortune to horrible failure, at this point. I'll settle for the book selling/being reviewed well enough for the publishers to ask for more. Everything after that is gravy.

I want Gerard Butler's agent to hand him a copy and say: You HAVE to play this part. And then I get to work with Gerard on the screenplay...for weeks...and cast myself (hey, I did theater for years before the kids came along) in a certain supporting part that has several scenes with him. And get Shia LeBoeuf to play Gerard's character as a teenager.

Oh, wait. That's book #2 in the series.

For book #1... I want to walk into Borders/B&N and see someone pick up my book, read the back cover blurb, read page 1, and immediately head for the cash register. Actually, I want that to happen more than once, when I'm there to see it. I'd like to be sitting at a soccer game, or on the subway, or in the auditorium waiting for a school concert to start, and see more than one person reading my book.

I might go up to them and just say "Thanks." Or I might just grin and blush a lot.

Erinmiller77 said:

I go to a book signing and my ex-boyfriend shows up and wants a free copy...and I have security show him to the door.

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That's cruel. I love it!!!!

I have two writing-related fantasies.

My first (and oldest) is to be interviewed on the Charlie Rose Show. I have no desire to be as popular or as rich as JK Rowling, and I'm not interested in my name being as much as a household name as Michael Crichton or Stephen King or whoever. As long as a particular group of interested people know who I am and value what I have done, that would do it for me. I imagine Charlie Rose having read my book, and then interviewing me with all sorts of insightful questions about my themes and the little details that people only notice when they read it as "serious literature." IE, with the assumption that everything I did was intentional and meaningful. I want him to notice how the little things like the placing of characters in a scene or the setting are also carefully tied to the plot. And so on and so forth.

My second writing dream is that I make enough money to travel to China and help a certain group of about 15 orphans. I don't want to be rich, but I want enough money to get them toys, clothes, a physical therapist, and a teacher. Actually this is not so much a dream as it is a goal I actually do plan to achieve.

I want to see my masterpiece (meaning what I consider to be my absolute best work. The very height of my talent.) sitting there on the shelves of high street bookstores, printed and bound.

You may say "That's...it?", but I personally look forward to the day when I reach the pinnacle of my creative potential. It's like I can die knowing that I produced something worthwhile. Something that justifies my birth, y'know? To alter the world, even ever so slightly (having a child, saving someone's life, etc...), is the ultimate affirmation of purpose, and in turn existence.

Oh, I forgot my dream for 'serious' prose.

I want people to give it the same praise that's on my hardcover edition of Speaker For the Dead. "A [fantasty] novel that is a brilliant commentary on human nature."

And that's all. *blushes*

My writing fantasy is the same it was since I was in high school. To become rich and famous. To set a record for length of time a novel is on the best seller list. To have a bevy of groupies wanting me. And to be a regular on the Tonight Show. Granted, when I first started this fantasy, Johnny Carson was on the Tonight Show. Now Leno is. By the time my fantasy finally does come true, Conan will be hosting. Or his son.

OddButInteresting said:

I want to see my masterpiece (meaning what I consider to be my absolute best work. The very height of my talent.) sitting there on the shelves of high street bookstores, printed and bound.

You may say "That's...it?", but I personally look forward to the day when I reach the pinnacle of my creative potential. It's like I can die knowing that I produced something worthwhile. Something that justifies my birth, y'know? To alter the world, even ever so slightly (having a child, saving someone's life, etc...), is the ultimate affirmation of purpose, and in turn existence.

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Hmm...not sure I'd go for that myself. What happens if you realise you've published your best work and you can't improve from there? There's nothing left to strive for.

I want people to feel so connected to my characters that they'll argue about them on message boards and stuff.

I don't really care about the fame and fortune part, surprisingly.

jedimaster107 said:

That's cruel. I love it!!!!

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What's cruel is that he would expect a free copy...idiot. The least he could do after trying to kill me 12 years ago is dish out $20 for a book and leave me the hell alone.

lol.

I want an agent to respond to my partial tomorrow, love the ms, and sell it to a huge publisher.

Said publisher would give me publicity till it was coming out of my ears, the world would love my 'wildly original idea', love the sequel and the rest of my books, and random people would come up to me in Disney World or something and be like "OMG YOU'RE YOU! AHHHHHHHH! I READ YOUR BOOK AND LOVED IT!" and talk to me about it.

Then I'd star in the film version of my novel (alongside Alex Pettyfer (as the love interest), Gary Sinise (as the billionaire father), and Orlando Bloom (as the antagonist)) and be critically acclaimed for that, too.

Yep. That's mine.

**sigh**

Great thread...and I will be shameless with my fantasy:

First, come October 1st, I will send out my queries to agents...including Jodi Reamer of Writers House. The mail clerk will get mixed up and place Into The Woods on Jodi's desk, instead of her assistant's or reader's. Intrigued, she will rip open the packaging and read ITW in one entire sitting. She won't even pause for a cup of coffee or a bit of sleep before calling me with an offer of representation.

Within days, she has an auction lined up between Scholastic, HarperTeen, and Little Brown. The bidding gets fierce and at the end of the day, Jodi calls me, her new favorite client, with the offer: a 7 figure advance from Scholastic, guaranteed full power of their PR dept., and the pick-up of 4 more novels with similarly high advances promised.

They rush the publication of Into The Woods and it is released Summer of next year. The reviews are fantastic and within two weeks it has topped the NYT Best Sellers List. Where it stays for a whole year. The paperback does just as well, as it coincides with the release of my 2nd novel - which has just as great reviews and wins the L.A. Times book award, the Printz Award, and a Newbery Medal (the board made a special, older category just for it).

The mania gets worse when the Into The Woods movie is finally released to sell-out crowds, launching the unknown actors in it to stardom as well. Crazy as it may be, I manage keep up with the help of my new love, Jonathan Groff, who read my book and tracked me down through Jodi to arrange a meeting.

In between my Oprah appearances and book tours and his Broadway openings, we live in NYC in a charming brownstone, one floor of which has been converted to the library from Beauty & the Beast. I am writing the books I've always dreamed of, living in the city without financial worries, and generally having a fabulous life. All before the age of 25.

*sigh* Now to actually finish the book...