Formatting a voice in someone's head

I'd go with the italics. They're simple and they get the job done without being distracting.

Maybe take the flashbacks out of italics and give some other cue that it's a flashback. Similarly, maybe you can make sure it's obvious when the italics signify internal thought, either through voice or through context.

I'd go with italics, too.

BTW, there are a couple of threads in the Science Fiction & Fantasy forum on this. Try searching for "telepathy".

I would stick with italics.

If you want other options: in my second WIP, the MC has a demon in his head by accident (He doesn't know it yet, and thinks it's his conscience.), and it talks to him when they're alone. I've taken to formatting the demon's voice in plain text while his thoughts are in italics.

I put demonic voices which are in a character's head in single quote marks without italics. I use italics for emphasis, remembered voices, and ship names. I use a different font for telepathy (thanks to some great advice I got here on AW). Flashbacks and dreams are in the same font as the rest of the MS and indicated by the character coming out of the flashback or waking up from the dream. Hallucinations are written in such a way as to make them seem completely real until the character figures out otherwise. Character thoughts are written in third person and incorporated into the narrative in standard font.

That's just how I do it, though, and I've enjoyed plenty of books with all sorts of different formatting. Just don't let it get confusing.

(And yes, I do have flashbacks, dreams, hallucinations, demonic voices, and telepathy all in the same story. In fact, I think I have them all in the same chapter once.)

Yes, definitely go with the first part. It's better.

Funnily enough I recently bought a book where the MC had a voice in his head. It's formatted like this:

"Talky talky talk talk," said the MC.

-Oh shut the fuck up, said the voice in his head.

Ooh, how annoying, thought the MC, saying out loud, "Bugger off!"

-How'd'ya like my italics, preceded by a hyphen? asked the voice in his head.

The MC thought something in italics even though he didn't have a hyphen to his name. Thinky thinky think.

Has anyone read Be More Chill? I'm trying to remember how the Squip (supercomputer inside his head) is formatted. I think it's bold?

Italics, but only for the voice, as you indicated.

I did the same thing in a novel of mine. The standard usage when a character's thoughts are shown is the same as a quote, but without the quotation marks, as in:

I wonder what she thinks, he thought.

I never liked that approach, so I put all the thoughts in itals. You can do anything you want, if your story is strong, reads well, and you're consistent.

jedimaster107 said:

I'll have to think of how to mark the flashbacks.

Click to expand...

Why mark them at all? A blank line to separate them from the main text, and something to let the reader know it's a flashback (a person wearing an "I like Ike" button, for example -- if it goes back that far).

No need to "mark" everything. Readers are acquainted with the concept of flashbacks.

On the other hand, research has shown that readers aren't too fond of flashbacks, so I'd use them as sparingly as possible. (The research showed readers prefer chronological stories.)

If it's absolutely necessary to have gobs of flashbacks, you might want to consider whether you can lump them all together into a coherent prologue, rather than flashing back. In that case, the backstory would have to be compelling in its own right, or you'd have to make it compelling, by telling it with sufficient suspense.