My new query letter

[dclary]

If you have to query... Stand out, right?

My newest letter:



Dear sirs;

Please find attached six of my poems, sent in accordance to your guidelines for submitting poetry for publication. I am uncertain what sort of biographical information you need about me, so I will let my poetry speak for itself. I hope you find them as emotionally vital and compelling as I do.

There is no postage or self-addressed envelope enclosed in this submission. If the poems do not meet your needs, please feel free to destroy them, as you will my heart.

Regards,

David W. Clary


What do you think?

[William Haskins]

it's okay... i guess. i would make the following small edit.

There is no postage or self-addressed envelope enclosed in this submission. If the poems do not meet your needs, please feel free to destroy them, as I will your office, your car and any sense of security to which you might be clinging.

Go on, try me,

David W. Clary

[dclary]

it's okay... i guess. i would make the following small edit.

I see you've been studying the Navy's guide to Internet Communications again?

[William Haskins]

i just fly on instinct, man.

[dclary]

The only thing that could make this submission better would be if I sent them your poetry instead of mine. But ever since you slapped that poetry-restraining-order on me in '86...

[William Haskins]

they'd reject it and then you'd have to follow through on the vandalism and general stalking.

[dclary]

And I'm all out of whipped cream!

and Bazookas!

[Hillgate]

Could work, but unless your poems are autobiographical I would put in a two-liner about your background.

[dclary]

I would still rather they stand alone. If they like the poems, I'll send the bio.