Harmful mothers?

Let me see if I get I follow ... the mother harms the daughter, then basically repents and is "born again"?

I wouldn't worry about the underlying theme. Readers will read whatever theme they want, no matter if you put it there or not.

In regards for rules about parents hurting their children, I remember reading this book when I was young. Child abuse can be a very real topic, especially for the kids reading about it.

katiemac said:

Let me see if I get I follow ... the mother harms the daughter, then basically repents and is "born again"?

I wouldn't worry about the underlying theme. Readers will read whatever theme they want, no matter if you put it there or not.

In regards for rules about parents hurting their children, I remember reading this book when I was young. Child abuse can be a very real topic, especially for the kids reading about it.

Click to expand...

Yeah, I'd be careful -- maybe talk to some kids (well, grown kids) from abusive families. I read that book katiemac mentioned when I was a kid. Coming from a family with a really abusive mom I liked it; but hated books that covered the wrong things and made the end all peachy-keen, mom repents and all is good, because that wasn't my experience.

But it might be some kids experience -- can you talk to any adult survivors of abuse groups? To gage how they may have felt reading about a certain plot line as a kid.

Good luck
~ Jennifer

Yeah, I think one of the main things that should come across is that these actions are NOT okay.

What are the "rules" regarding mothers who harm their children in YA literature?

Click to expand...

I don't think there are any strict rules, especially not governing how far you should or shouldn't go, whether physical or sexual. You don't necessarily need to be gratuitous in your descriptions of the events, but if the abuse is the foundation for the subsequent handicap (even if it is paranormal) then it has to be believable. If you don't want to be bogged down with descriptions of events that you are worried could turn readers (or editors) off, then you might be able to achieve it through changes in the character, either physical (bruises, limps, scabs) or emotional. You're probably best going over the top rather than pulling in the reins - an editor can alway suggest you tone it down before publication, but if isn't strong enough to be convincing, then the rest of the story could suffer.

The main "rule" if you can call it that would be that it's not acceptable to harm your children...but then you could get bogged down with conveying that, I guess.

I just read a YA book in which the MC is a boy with an extremely abusive (sounds like psychopathic) mother, and it was very well done. The book was The Rules of Survival by Nancy Werlin.

Definitely read other books with related themes if you're worried about going overboard or something.

Moms who harm their kids in YA fiction

Yes, kids will read a book about abusive parents-- I suggest that you consult psychology texts & handbooks for professionals who are working with abused kids--you'll have a solid handle on the reasons why parents abuse and the subsequent aftermath.
The book I wrote, Courage in Patience, deals with the aftermath of incest abuse, among other things. I consulted texts such as cited above in order to check myself in terms of taking things over the top-- and I found that I was right-on in my descriptions, etc.
One thing my MC says, in reaction to the censorship of a Chris Crutcher book her class is reading, is, "Knowing that other kids like me exist in the world makes me feel a lot less alone."
And that's true for "real-life" readers of these types of problem novels, too.

Thump said:

No The mother was into the occult as a teenager. Then was "Born Again" and turned extremist that way after some stuff and out of fear of evil and Satan so she hurts her daughter to "save her". Years later, when she's mostly worked out her issues and fear, she realizes how badly she's stunted her daughter's emotional growth and out of guilt does drugs and stuff.

Click to expand...

Well first of all, a real "born again" mother who loves Jesus WON'T hurt her child b/c she understands God's grace, a religious person, on the other hand, might hurt their kids. There's a big difference. A religious person goes by rules and regulations. A born again christian loves Jesus and would never attack her child to 'save' her from Satan. I've been a christian for over 20 years and I have yet to find a 'crazy christian mother' who hurts her kids to save them from Satan. They'll pray for them and love them, but NEVER hurt them to save them. I also know ex-Satanists and hurting their kids to save them from Satan is something they would NEVER do. In fact, they'd be insulted that you even suggested it.

If you want the mother to be a 'crazy christian' then I suggest you have her be in some sort of strange cult like religion that calls themselves christians and pushes her into hurting her child to save her from Satan, but not pure born again christianity. Either that or she is mentally ill, which will be more realistic than a crazy born again christian. Remember, Christianity doesn't make one crazy. That's like saying becoming a Catholic makes one crazy. Doesn't happen. And to be honest, it really doesn't make sense unless she's mentally ill and then gets help through medication in the future. or you could have her in some sort of crazy cult where the leader tells everyone what to do and with whom and where and he tells her, Satan will take your child, so hurt her. That does happen, but the members are mostly brainwashed, which is why they do what they do.

kim

I'm a Catholic and have been Christian for my entire life - I have to tell you, I've met some people who CALL themselves born-again Christians or die-hard Catholics who are very scary people. Affairs, abuse, drugs, back-stabbing - oh, they did it all.

Kim's right - a true born-again wouldn't hurt their kids. But just thinking that you, or calling yourself one, doesn't make you one. How many of us know church-goers that are awful people?

Try reading A Certain Slant of Light - it's got a very unsympathetic uber-Christian character in there.

greywaren said:

I'm a Catholic and have been Christian for my entire life - I have to tell you, I've met some people who CALL themselves born-again Christians or die-hard Catholics who are very scary people. Affairs, abuse, drugs, back-stabbing - oh, they did it all.

Kim's right - a true born-again wouldn't hurt their kids. But just thinking that you, or calling yourself one, doesn't make you one. How many of us know church-goers that are awful people?

Try reading A Certain Slant of Light - it's got a very unsympathetic uber-Christian character in there.

Click to expand...

I agree. My mother is one of the most terrifying people you'll ever meet. But calls herself a "born again" she's got Jesus bumper stickers the whole nine yards. My siblings and I haven't seen her in ten years (but have ways of keeping tabs on her -- it's safer for everyone that way) and she hangs with a church group now who continually have told her that it's us (her kids) not her, that are the issue because god has forgiven her of all her sins and we won't -- so we're the bad people.

She won't take responsibility for her actions at all. And this church seemingly supports this. I honestly have nothing against religion; any religion. But to use it as a "I've been cleared" crutch just sucks. And I'm sure that these people at this church don't really know her; the real her. But it's very true that there are people out there who claim to be with god and act totally insane. And in my experience this one church supports that.

If you told my mom that she's more satanic than godly I'm sure what you'd get would be a long speech about how you're wrong.

~ Jennifer