Trifecta from Hell? Animals, Children, and Puppets

I heard it was animals, children and water.

But I suppose those puppets can be really hard to control sometimes.

I don't know if its true, although I have a strong guess. I would say that all three have a tendency to be less than reliable. Combine that with an unknown writer and that could hurt the chances of that screenplay getting produced. But if the screenplay is good enough, why would they not buy it anyway?

Dominic said:

But if the screenplay is good enough, why would they not buy it anyway?

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Exactly... write what you want to write. Let the production company that buys your script worry about making the film. If you have a strong story that's well written I don't think they are going to care if it has animals, children or puppets in it.

Rainy Night said:

I heard it was animals, children and water.

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I also heard it was water (specifically the ocean), not puppets. Spielberg had a really hard time when he shot Jaws, and so he swore he'd never shoot another movie on the water again. And Costner likewise had such a hard time with Waterworld that it became one of the most over-budgetted catastrophes in Hollywood history. The ocean just doesn't take too well to being told what to do and when to do it.

But then again, I'm also told that in the midst of a very difficult and uncooperative Atlantic Ocean, good old Bruce proved to be a very difficult and uncooperative puppet.

And on other matters ...


When it comes to animals ...............


I heard that part of the reason Evan Almighty wound up being so danged-diggetty expensive was because of the prohibitve costs invovled in having ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL those animals on the set for such a prolonged period.The proper care, feeding, housing, transport, and wrangling of animals is mindblowing. (Just ask Michael Jackson--the now bankrupted former resident of Neverland Ranch.)

And on other matters ...



When it comes to children ..................



A lot of the Craigslist and Mandy ads I have been scouting out for open calls on scripts are (of course) from small independent producers. And I sometimes have seen the stipulation: "no children or animals in key roles." Depending on what state you're shooting in, a child actor can only work for somethig like four hours a day (sometimes only two), and needs to have lots of breaks. So child actors need to be very meticulously scheduled around with no room for error.


Pain. In. The. Butt.


(And expensive too.)

To Plot.
Apparently the same thing happened on the set of Jurassic Park, with the T-Rex's shaking uncontrollably when exposed to heavy rainfalls.
Waterworld, I think was just a bad movie.
Take away the water then you have Costner's other bomb, The Postman an equally silly movie.
I love some of his films, though these two make me ask myself "What was he thinking".
The aspect in regards to Animals is an important one.
I read somewhere, just how difficult it can be to cater for all the requirements when using animals.
Especially, if the scene is to be shot in a public place ,then numerous legal and safety regulations must be honoured.
I think William Goldman stated something in regards to, reading a script which required a herd of camels to be running through Central Park(NY).
His point being What is practical and what is'nt, when writing a screenplay, especially in regards to the budget.
I think the requirements for children to work limited hours, is a sensible one.
Probably a pain in the butt, yes though kids are not adults.
I think it's a great thing for kids to get up on stage, or in front of a camera as this can give them greater confidence as adults.
Especially when we consider that whatever we do in life, we are actually performing (acting) for ourselves and others.
Remember "LIFES A STAGE, AND WE ARE BUT PLAYERS ON IT".
Take care.
Daniel.

Camels stampeding through Central Park. Sounds funny on paper. But on the screen, I would only vaguely smile at it. The lame payoff from the net return on the hilarity factor would nowhere near compensate for the overall expense.

(And oh yeah, Daniel, you just reminded me that I forgot about the hefty insurance minimums required when you've got animals on the set too. Talk about money down the drain.)

I also don't think these things are entirely prohibitive, although they do strain the schedule particularly on a low budget movie. But a lot of directors really like working with children. I wouldn't write a movie with children, animals, puppets and water -- but having one of these things, and perhaps not in excessive amounts, may start to hurt you chances.

And it's not just directors who don't like these things, it's actors. No actor wants to be opposite and animal or a child as they will always take the attention away. And actors' worst fear is that you are not paying attention to them. Geoffrey Rush insisted in the first Pirates of the Caribbean that he alway be to the left of the monkey because he believes peoples eyes go from left to right on the screen (like they do in a book or when you are reading this post) and if the monkey was the first thing in the screen then no one would ever look at him. I remember the thing about the monkey for sure, but I vaguely remember that he also insisted on being to the left of Orlando Bloom as well =)

So good luck getting an A-lister next to you child or monkey.

But I don't think this should stop you from writing what you want, just be realistic about the difficulties. And a child or animal in a small role could be very appealing. As long as it's not dragging down the schedule or stealing every scene, a director/producer knows how much audiences like these things (Speaking of Geoffrey Rush, see his character in Shakespeare In Love who is always asking to put a dog in it)