Having a problem with the ending of my novel

OK, So I'm on my third re-write of my novel.

More and more, I've realized that the wisdom shared here is very true: For a children's novel, the story pretty much should be told from the POV of the MC.

With few exceptions, I now have virtually the entire story told that way. I've eliminated scenes that I realized don't really push forward my MC's story and tried to keep shifting to other POVs as few and far between as possible though I do have a handful of exceptions (for example, my MC runs away from home but stops and tells his best friend he's running away, then the POV shifts briefly to the best friend's mother who forces her son to tell her what happened and she calls the police -- I just felt like that was necessary for the story -- though I've considered trying a cell phone instead where the friend calls the MC on his cell phone to warn him, but does so too late.).


OK, now here is where I have a problem: the MC is a fan of a TV show called Star Journey and finds himself aboard the Star Journey, which is a real ship from the future (this is kind of integral to the plot -- I'd have to make massive changes to make the story work without this). Now the thing is, part of the story has to be that no one knows why the future resembles a TV show until after the story is over. In the end, one of the characters on the ship stays behind in the past and creates this TV show which my MC was a fan of.

Now, in order for the story to work, the character who stays behind is an alien who gets plastic surgery to make her look human. My MC didn't recognize her at first because she's an alien. In order to keep the mystery going, my MC is shot and is in a coma for the last two chapters while the adults make their final getaway and the alien character is left behind.

If I haven't lost you all yet in explaining all that, any suggestions on what to do about having the rest of the story from his POV? I've considered either he wakes up and tells the alien when she's been changed that she's the creator of the show or that his soul is wandering the ship while he's in a coma so that he can't tell her in advance. . .

Any ideas? Does either of these ideas work?

Eric

Alleycat,

The story involves time travel in several different directions, so your first question isn't a problem.

They do indeed travel further back in time at the end of the story:

In essence, they travel back in time to 2007 by accident, then jump across the universe to the Andromeda galaxy where an adventure ensues and the MC saves the crew, then the same portal takes them back to Earth but in the year 2001.

By way of explanation, it's an ancient alien portal which is based on the concept of a black hole-- it allows instant wormholes to anywhere in the universe but has a side effect of time travel (and nasty effects on the crew, who basically feel nauseous and pass out) if it's not activated correctly.

At the end, a crew member is left behind in 2001 before they finally get back to the 24th century and the story ends.

Also, the MC would recognize her because she sent him an autographed picture right at the beginning of the story.

Finally, regarding the last comment, my point exactly, which is why I'm trying to think of a way for him to be around for the last two chapters (well technically, he is around, just in a coma and then he comes out of it after they're back in the future. . .). I'm kinda leaning toward the floating soul idea. Some of the aliens are telepaths and could rescue his soul at the end of the story while I'd still have him actually be present throughout so that he's doing something and maybe he can even use his life force to send some kind of a message to tell everyone the solution to their problems. . .

Eric

My latest thinking is that he wakes up immediately in the next chapter and he does actually see her when she's changed and perhaps has a hand in suggesting the final solutions to their problems.

I'm just thinking now that perhaps that might work better because she never tells him in the past who she really is and I'm thinking they could have a discussion about it before she leaves so that it solves that nagging problem (right now, I've kind of left that thread hanging because I didn't have a good reason for her not telling him who she was in the past.).

Bit by bit, little by little, I'm getting it together and getting it to where it needs to be. Who knows? One of these days my story might even be publishable . Well, I now have two chapters to do a total re-write on and then the final chapter (where he wakes up in my original version) needs some major tweaking as well. . .

But it is getting there. . .

Thanks for the thoughts folks.

Oh and Toothpaste, in answer to your question, the MC stays in the future. My goal ideally is for it to be a series and he needs to stay for that to happen. Plus, he doesn't have anyone in the present - he runs away from home in search of his real father (he finds out in the beginning of the story that his parents aren't his real parents and that's why they don't treat him well) and in the end, finds a new family in the form of the captain of the ship. . .

Thanks again.

Eric

Interesting idea Alleycat, some good food for thought. I'm starting at the beginning again since I need to type in all the changes I made to the story (I wrote the changes by hand on a draft copy and they are numerous) so when I get back to the end of the novel again, I consider that idea. Thanks again.

Eric

Stijn, good question and the answer is, I don't know. It just kind of coalesced that way.

But I'm planning to change it and make it from the MC's POV with a last minute cell phone call. I think that will also make it more convincing that the MC knows the cops are there for him and that's why he runs. In order for him to end up on the space-ship from the future, he needs to run from the cops and hide (he ends up hiding in the back of what he thinks is a van but it's actually a holographically disguised shuttle from the Star Journey and it takes off with him inside of it.).

I'm also thinking that I can use him being awake when the alien goes down to earth of the past to re-enforce the ending. In the first chapter, he learns that his parents are not his real parents, but that his real parents are dead and that his adoptive parents have some kind of vendetta against them which is why they treat him badly (yes, I know it sounds a bit Harry Potterish, but it isn't intended as such and would draw only mild comparisons to Harry Potter when people read it if they compare it at all).

He runs off to try to find out who his real parents are or were and whether they are really dead or not (he has one clue -- a friend of his who was an elderly gentleman who he helps out at times had just died and his parents say something about him being the last link to the MC's real parents. Since the guy is dead, the MC wants to head for this man's home-town of Cleveland to try to find people who knew him, etc. but of course that doesn't quite work out (oh and if it sounds a bit confusing, it's not. Not in the story anyway I don't think. I just use that as a vehicle to get my MC onto the ship of the future which is where the real story takes place) , but in the end he decides to stay with the captain of the ship and the captain adopts him.

I'm now thinking that ending could work out quite nicely because he can have a little emotional thing where he's offered to stay behind and find his real parents and he says, I've already got a dad. Or something to that effect.

It also would be helpful for the epilogue since the alien finds out who the MC's real parents are but never tells him (well never leaves a message for him where he'll know in the future what really happened), now she has a better reason for not doing so because she doesn't want to shatter what he has in the future by haunting him with details of the past. . .

Thanks again everyone.

Eric

Interesting thought, but I want the MC to stay in the future since that can be used to build a series. Still, I do like the idea. . .

Thanks.

Eric