Funny Signs

JoniBGoode · Jul 7, 2007

Last Saturday I was at Wal-mart. When I came out, there was a table selling tiny flags and red-white-and-blue trinkets.

The sign on the table said, "$1 of your donation goes to benefit the critical". Not the critically injured mind you, or those in critical condition. Not even those with critical needs. Just the critical.

And I thought, "Aha! Finally, a charity for those of us who are merely bi**hy!" Needless to say, the woman at the table couldn't understand why I was laughing so loudly.

Do any of you have examples of funny or annoying signs? I'm sure there are others out there.

blacbird · Jul 7, 2007

My all-time favorite road sign came from the U.K., where I lived for several years. It warned of what would be termed in the U.S. "Road Construction Ahead". It read:

"Changed Priorities Are at Hand".

caw

Maryn · Jul 8, 2007

On Route 15 near Gettysburg, PA (2003):
BACK TO BASIC’S WESTERN WEAR AND CHIROPRACTIC

On Route 15 near Lawrenceville, PA (2003):
WRANGLER JEANS 12.99
KIDS 9.99

At the American Zionist Church in Amherst Township, Ohio (2003):
GOD IS SO-O-O-O-O GOOD!

At One World Goods international store in Pittsford, NY (2005):
This is Handy--Wa! La! You’re done!

Maryn, who loves weird signs

Vomaxx · Jul 8, 2007

Richard Lederer's Anguished English, perhaps the funniest book ever compiled, has a section called "Signs of the Times", featuring such pearls as "Ears pierced while you wait"; a sign in a maternity ward reading "No children allowed"; and a sign at a dry cleaning shop, "38 Years on the Same Spot".

FennelGiraffe · Jul 8, 2007

Around the corner from where I used to live, there was a sign that drove me batty--not with what it said, but with the way it was written: VAllEY VIDEO.

Near where I worked, there was a tire shop with the sign: WE FIX FlATS. (One of my co-workers had a Fiat--he asked. That wasn't what they meant.)

Chumplet · Jul 8, 2007

A sign on an internet cafe wall in Haliburton, Ontario: UNATTENDED CHILDREN WILL BE GIVEN AN ESPRESSO AND A PUPPY

Maryn · Jul 8, 2007

I no longer remember the location of the tire store, but I left out:

IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE'VE GOT IT!

Duh?

Silver King · Jul 8, 2007

A car repair shop near where I live specializes in radiator repair and boasts, "The best place in Saint Pete to take a leak!"

The sign hasn't changed in twenty years.

darthbizzel · Jul 8, 2007

when u cross the boarder to Texas it says : drive the Texas way drive, friendly. sadly unless u live here u don't understand the contradiction that is

blacbird · Jul 8, 2007

Sadly, it's gone now, but back in the late 1970s, when I was doing grad school field work in geology in southeastern Kansas (the very area that got flooded so badly last week), there was a gem, in the little town of Gas, Kansas (about ten miles east of Iola, for those who really want to know). It was along the highway outside a convenience store/diner:

DON'T BLINK, YOU'LL PASS GAS

This town wasn't short on sense of humor. They also had (still have, I'd bet) a town water tower that was painted bright red, with the signage GAS, KAN.

caw

benbradley · Jul 9, 2007

A veterinarian clinic had a sign that said "Spay and neuter your pets and weird friends."

auntybug · Jul 9, 2007

Vacuum store in Willmar, MN:

Everything we sell Sucks!

TsukiRyoko · Jul 9, 2007

When entering West Virginia, you'll see a "Welcome to West Virginia!" sign with a billboard behind it advertising Wheeling Downs (a gambling/dog racing place). When leaving West Virginia, you'll see a billboard that says, "Do you have a gambling problem?" and gives a helpline number.

swvaughn · Jul 9, 2007

"Welcome to Hell, Michigan"

Also...

"Fucking"

(for the town of Fucking, Austria)

The F sign recently had an article written about it:

"Fucking Signs Now Theft-Proof"

Apparently, American tourists take great delight in stealing the signs. Go figure.

Funny Signs

JoniBGoode

blacbird

Maryn

I Tried

Vomaxx

FennelGiraffe

It's green they say

Chumplet

This hat is getting too hot

Maryn

I Tried

Silver King

Megalops Erectus

darthbizzel

blacbird

benbradley

It's a doggy dog world

auntybug

teh other evil broad

TsukiRyoko

Forced into cell phone life

swvaughn

adrift