Cliche Action

Star · Jul 6, 2007

Dear Fellow Scribes,

Do you ever get the feeling that you're running out of ideas on how to display character emotion?

For example, how many doors can an angry character slam?
How many times can a curious character cock their head to the side?

Anybody have a cure for common emotionally telling cliches?
SOS!

JoNightshade · Jul 6, 2007

Yep. Go to the mall and watch people.

Star · Jul 6, 2007

Hey Jo!

Well gimme an example of anger then. I won't steal.
(Hiding my pen and paper)

JoNightshade · Jul 6, 2007

Well it all depends on your character. Everybody has different and entirely unique body language. That's why when you know someone for a long time you can almost just tell what they're thinking.

For someone very shy, an angry response might be a cold silence and not wanting to meet the other person's eyes.

A childish person might stomp a foot.

A reserved person might form a fist and clench his jaw (you can see the muscle tightening along the side of the face).

A very aggressive person might frown or even pull his lips back from his teeth in a silent growl.

A nervous person might talk quickly and his/her voice may get higher and more agitated.

A conflict-avoider (like me) might say nothing, but start doing something like banging the dishes around or cleaning furiously.

Shall I continue?

johnzakour · Jul 6, 2007

foot stomping, eyes glaring, nostrils flaring...

read other books watch other people, take notes

JamieFord · Jul 6, 2007

"For example, how many doors can an angry character slam?"

Reminds me of a Mitch Hedberg joke about having an argument in a tent and trying to slam the flap...

Maybe it's just me.

Jersey Chick · Jul 6, 2007

JamieFord said:
"For example, how many doors can an angry character slam?"

Reminds me of a Mitch Hedberg joke about having an argument in a tent and trying to slam the flap...

Maybe it's just me.

I had a giggle attack just picturing someone trying to slam a tent flap.

My cliche is gazing - they're always freakin' gazing and I'm running out of ways to have them look without gazing. Not so easy. :rant:

JoNightshade · Jul 6, 2007

Also, try pretending to be your character. Kind of like acting. I can't act worth beans but I often make gestures and faces as I write to see if it feels right for the character.

Scrawler · Jul 6, 2007

They can always roll their eyes, screw up their faces and raise their eyebrows lol

Zoombie · Jul 6, 2007

I love eye rollings, grins, sighs, coughs, spits, snorts, snoghfs and clamps. It's also fun to make up words that sound like actions, but actually aren't. Like slauntered. Which is what happens when you push through a crowd in car...with a cowcatcher in front of you.

maestrowork · Jul 6, 2007

How about not doing anything? I know a lot of people expressing their anger by dead silence with a dead stare.

Seriously, watch people. Something are "cliches" because they're true -- everyone "laughs" and everyone "gasps." So it's not necessary to be afraid of cliches. However, if every time your character is angry, he slams the door -- then you have a serious problem.

Jersey Chick · Jul 6, 2007

That's the gazing problem! They're looking at each other, but looking is soooo boring. And now I'm a gaze addict! Oh well, I conquered rolling-eye-syndrome and raising-eyebrow-syndrome. I guess I can beat the gaze as well. I hope.

Red Robin · Jul 6, 2007

Here's an exercise-

How do you act when you are angry? There are many kinds of angry. What do you do in various circumstances.

Here's a few for me-

Traffic. I shout obscenities at jerks. Volume is dependant on how dangerous the jerk is.

Realtionship. This is usually more a frustration than anger. I raise my eyebrows and go quiet.

Long lines with old ladies at front paying in pennies. Again, this is more akin to frustration. I fidget and shake my head. If the old lady is exceptionally slow I might say 'yeaaaaa..." under my breath.

Really fighty angry. I glare menacingly, and say nothing.

George Bush is on TV. I ask the TV why it's such a stupid ass. TV ignores me.

Well, now you know my dark side. Yours?

Jersey Chick · Jul 6, 2007

Hmmm...

Traffic - I, too, shout and I throw in a few Jersey salutes as well.

Relationship - The madder I am, the quieter I get, and the cleaner my house is. If my husband comes home to find me washing windows, he knows it's probably best to just say he's sorry.

Long Lines - I fidget and mutter things just loud enough to be heard. I also tend to sigh a lot.

Really angry - really stony silence. Again, when I'm about to lose it, I get very, very, very calm and quiet.

GWB on tv - I get up and leave the room. TVs are expensive and I don't want to throw something through the screen. The same holds true for the NY Giants and the Yankees when they're on.

When only slightly annoyed, I'm a yeller and a very creative swearer. My husband's a contruction worker, and there are times when he looks at me ans says, "I didn't know you could put all of those words together in one sentence."

Star · Jul 6, 2007

You guys are so funny!

Oh, you don't want to see me when I'm angry.
*blushing*

Evaine · Jul 7, 2007

Why? Do you turn green and burst out of your shirt?

Linda Adams · Jul 7, 2007

Have you tried describing the emotions through other means besides actions? It's a lot harder to do, but it can really add a lot to the story. It can be used to build characterization, as well as the story. For example, instead of a character shaking his fist to show anger, you could have your POV character watching the angry character enter the room calmly, quietly shut the door, and not say a word for a long time. POV character is scared to death because he's never seen the angry character act this way. Then angry character walks deliberately over and gets in POV character's face, and quietly talks to him--but the words are something someone should be yelling.

A lot of it is not just in the character's actions, but how the other characters react to what's happening.

Ziljon · Jul 7, 2007

he looked, she looked, they all looked...

I always seem to have my characters looking. I did a search for "looked" and here are just a portion of sentences I found from the first 44 pages of my wip. Actually, it was kind of interesting to do.

They looked up and saw the teardrop-shaped face of Chloë.
They looked at Ziljon. Was he joking?
She looked at him and her eyes grew wide.
All eyes looked out over the choppy waters of Loch Deep Hollow.
He looked around at the group hopefully, but no one was willing to take his side so quickly, especially in light of the disappointment the ants had suffered.
The old rabbit looked around once at the assorted company, took a deep breath, and then, squatting over the bark, waved one paw over the marbles.
Finally he looked up, concern etched into the colorless fur of his face.
He looked to Ziljon, the one most like himself in character and deportment.
Pookie snorted and looked away, but Duncan pushed his way in control of the voice and said, “I’m sorry Forest, he’s just an old grump. You know.”
They all looked toward her. She was holding the homunculus jar up to the light and they could all clearly see the crack, a weblike crazing in the glass from where it must have landed on re-entry.

swvaughn · Jul 7, 2007

Here is a partial list of angry actions/facial expressions from The Writer's Digest Sourcebook for Building Believable Characters (The Best Book Evah For Finding An Alternate Way to Say Something When You're Stuck*).

You don't necessarily have to lift stuff straight from the book; you can use something in here as a kicking-off point for coming up with your own slant on things.

*subtitle mine

Angry Facial Expressions

lips curling with disgust
spasm of irritation crossing one's face
face hardening
stony expression
face flushing with indignation
eyes bulging from their sockets
eyes rake the room
mouth quirks in annoyance
spasm of irritation crosses one's face
face turning red, then purple
mouth crimps in annoyance
face hot and pinched with resentment
mouth tightens into a stubborn line
veins in the neck standing out in livid ridges
crazed look
implacable expression
bridle at a rude remark
unyielding jaw
sticking out chin defiantly
looking about wildly
predatory expression
(List in the book is longer)

Angry Body Language

stalk out
storm out
stamp out
burst into a room
hurl oneself through the door
lunge at
slap smartly
wag a finger at
gesticulate furiously
slam fist into open hand
throw up hands in disgusted resignation
bunch fists
fists convulsing with supressed rage
nostrils flaring
heart hammering
stomach knotting
digging nails into palms
muscle twitching at one's jaw
stiffen at one's touch
(List in the book is longer)

In short, I love this book. You need a copy. Amazon has a few.

Devil Ledbetter · Jul 7, 2007

swvaughn said:
Here is a partial list of angry actions/facial expressions from The Writer's Digest Sourcebook for Building Believable Characters (The Best Book Evah For Finding An Alternate Way to Say Something When You're Stuck*).

In short, I love this book. You need a copy. Amazon has a few.

I just ordered one. There are 3 left now.

Shady Lane · Jul 7, 2007

Now there are 2.

No, just kidding. I ordered it used for .96 c.

swvaughn · Jul 7, 2007

LOL Marc McCutcheon really needs to thank me for pimping his book all the time. I love this thing. It has a ton of fantastic information -- face and body types, personality traits, bad habits and vices, occupations inventory, the aforementioned facial expressions, dialects, dress, names, homes...

Y'all better hurry. Amazon's gonna run out of copies!

Carmy · Jul 7, 2007

Those wandering eyes get me, too, but recently I read -- not once but twice -- how the hero's "jaw slid to the side". I'm still trying to envision that one.

SilverVistani · Jul 7, 2007

Jersey Chick said:
That's the gazing problem! They're looking at each other, but looking is soooo boring. And now I'm a gaze addict! Oh well, I conquered rolling-eye-syndrome and raising-eyebrow-syndrome. I guess I can beat the gaze as well. I hope.

I use gaze a fair bit myself, but I don't have a problem with the fact that I do. However, I am also a big fan of watched, studied, considered, and-- occasionally-- scrutinized.

But here's my main point I'd like to make... So what if a character does something frequently? That same little action over and over again throughout the story? My question for you, is this. How much time passes, over all, within your story? Most novels span at least a couple of days time. That's -at least- 48 hours. That's a lot of opportunities to do something.

People develop quirks. Things that they do often. My little sister is -constantly- fooling with her bangs. My friend Nik is -always- playing out a rhythm by patting his lap or banging on his steering wheel while driving or on the table or beat-boxing (I believe it's called) or whatever. I very rarely meet a persons eyes when I'm talking to them, so the whole 'roaming eyes' thing is not unrealistic.

Perhaps you worry because the word is being used over and over again, but really... that's because people have a tendency to develop a couple of actions that they do repeat over and over again.

Or maybe that's just my experience...

Star · Jul 9, 2007

You guys are great!

Thanks SW, gee, I bet all the WD books are POOF.

Just gotta be more creative, I guess.

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