Mother, Mum, Mom, ma, m...

[DracoMerest]

When I read 'mom', it can throw me a little until I become accustomed to the form. I much prefer ‘mum’ as I have always been taught and it feels better. Writing mother all over the place looks way too formal and cannot, sensibly, be used in dialogue.

‘Mom’ looks like the contraction of Mother while ‘mum’ sounds like the contraction. Unless I am mistaken, everyone pronounces the word as ‘muther’ or, here in Oz, ‘mutha[r]’

Are they any undocumented rules? Or common consensus? Preferences?

Draco…
[o]

[scarletpeaches]

I pronounce it 'mutha'. The 'fucka' is silent. :D

[alleycat]

Mom (or one of the other choices) is used in the US, mum in the UK. Mum is always never used by a native US speaker.

If the setting is England, Australia, etc. then it's fine to use mum, even if the book is aimed at a US audience. If the setting is the US, or the character is from the US, then use mom.

I'm not sure about Canada. Oi, proabably. :-) Just being silly; I really don't know what's more commonly used there.

[scarletpeaches]

Oh my. A negative rep point. "Comedy is the lowest form of communication," apparently. No-one tell a joke - it makes you stupid!

[DracoMerest]

Good point Alleycat. Hmmm, what's the Anglicize version used in Japan I wonder? Perhaps I'll go with 'mom' as I believe that to be the case and the ratio of US people here to others is far greater.

Thanks.

[Kate Thornton]

I pronounce it 'mutha'. The 'fucka' is silent. :D

OMG, I laughed out loud! I am stealing this, Scarlet.

[scarletpeaches]

I wonder if I can get three neg-reps in the same thread. Whadaya say, huh? Or you could just get over yourself?

[alleycat]

Another small point, "mother" is sometime used in dialogue and as a direct address by some Americans, especially in certain families. It would be more common in upper-class families.

"Mother, what shall we serve for brunch?"

"It was so difficult living with mother."

[Kate Thornton]

Mama is also common in the US, although there may be regional preferences. And it is a common usage for young children, like it's counterpart, Daddy.

Mommy is also very common usage for young children.

[ChunkyC]

Just to answer the earlier question ... it's usually "mom" in Canada too. :)

[notpc]

I though MAMA only went with "ooh mama, that's the spot!"

They realy don't understand MUM here, US. A MUM is a plant. I misspelled it in the third grade when I moved from London to Seattle.

[Birol]

It seems there's a private battle going on between Scarlet and Draco?

Scarlet, this is not Office Party or TIO. Please confine the more urbane humor to forums where it is more appropriate. I will not tolerate poking at individuals just for the sake of poking or this retaliatory posting you seem to be engaging in.

Draco, it is not your responsibility to "reprimand" other members, nor is that the purpose of negative rep points. Rather than repeated negative repping another individual, you should have used the reported post function much sooner.

If the two of you are not able to play nicely with one another, I suggest you place each other on ignore.

[Birol]

When I read 'mom', it can throw me a little until I become accustomed to the form. I much prefer ‘mum’ as I have always been taught and it feels better. Writing mother all over the place looks way too formal and cannot, sensibly, be used in dialogue.

‘Mom’ looks like the contraction of Mother while ‘mum’ sounds like the contraction. Unless I am mistaken, everyone pronounces the word as ‘muther’ or, here in Oz, ‘mutha[r]’

I call my female parent mom or mother, and I do not pronounce the former mum or the latter muther.

My use of the two terms depends on the situation and the context. Growing up, my mother did not wish us to call her 'mom', although she did not chastise or correct us when we picked up the term from pour playmates. Hence, the two became interchangeable, except difference in tone, rhythm, body language, and context also add meaning to both terms.

Is 'mother' more formal? Well, yes, often, but not always. It can mean, "You're embarrassing me" or "I'm really mad at you right now" or any number of things. Again, it depends on the delivery. It can be used in dialogue, and quite sensibly, too, if that's what the character would call their female parent or if the situation warrants it.

Are they any undocumented rules? Or common consensus?

The rules, as others have indicated, are dependent on socio-economic background and what part of the English-speaking world the character is from. You just have to make it believable for the characters you are writing.

[veinglory]

I think alleycat has it right. Mom is US form. Mum, UK and some commonwealth countries.

[Cath]

Well, I'm British and I use Ma and Mama (with the emphasis on the last syllable) just to confuse the situation - but yes, Mum is more common in the UK. Mom is almost unheard of.

[DracoMerest]

Thanks for all the input. I think I'll go with 'mom' for the Japanese girl. However, I'll not change the form for other characters from countries with alternate preferences who may refer to their own parent. Consistancy is something I strive for so 'mom' it is; keep the MC in control.

And I think I'll read it again with an eye for any unwarranted negative uses of 'mother' (implied or otherwise) [thanks Birol]

Draco...
[o]

[alleycat]

I used to use mama, as in . . .

"Mama, I promise I'll never do it again!"

(I was lying.)

[reenkam]

I've actually never said mom to my...female parent. I call her mommy, mama (the spanish way), maman (french way), mum (when I'm being british), and sometimes mother, but not usually.

I like to keep it international....

but, anyway, in Japan they call moms "haha" which would be awkward in any English book...so I'd go with mom because I think they teach american english there, so that'd be the form taught instead of mum

but i could be wrong about that...

[BlueTexas]

I say Mom when I'm talking to her, but when I'm speaking about her to someone else, it's my mother. When she's on my last nerve, I call her Mother. I was raised in New England.

My husband says Mother both when speaking to or about her, and once in awhile will refer to her as Mom, but never to her. He was raised in Texas.

[Soccer Mom]

Personally, I think "Mom" should always be paired with the word "Soccer."

In the American south, Mama is common. Mommy connates a young child. Mom as the child grows older. Mother (accompanied by eye roll) is for when you embarass said older child.

[aadams73]

My mother is "mum" to me, or "ma" in a pinch. "Mother" gets me a slap around the ears :D

My husband works with one of those pussy-men who's heart belongs to mommy and no one else. This pussy-man always answers his phone "Hello Mother!"

[MidnightMuse]

It's possible different sections of the US use the term differently. I know I use Mom, when talking to her, but Mother when referencing her to others. As in:

My Mother does that, too.

I use Dad, and Father the same way.

I only say Mum when being silly (not that Mum is silly, but when it's not your norm, you use it that way)

But when it comes to Ma and/or Pa, I know people do use those, but no one I know does. Oh, but one thing that gives me shivers is when a man refers to his wife as "Mother." That's just . . . wrong.

[katiemac]

but, anyway, in Japan they call moms "haha" which would be awkward in any English book...so I'd go with mom because I think they teach american english there, so that'd be the form taught instead of mum

but i could be wrong about that...

The Japanese have also borrowed "mama" and "papa" and use these terms in addition to native ones. So, I'd use "mama."

[aadams73]

Oh, but one thing that gives me shivers is when a man refers to his wife as "Mother." That's just . . . wrong.

Oh that skeeves me out too! Icky!

[Evaine]

And if your character were lower class and from the North of England, or Welsh, they would call her "mam".

[Anonymisty]

Mama is also common in the US, although there may be regional preferences.

It also seems to be used more often by girls than boys down here. I call my parents Mama and Daddy (I'm in my 40's) so when I had a baby, we taught him to call us the same thing. By the time he was three, we had become Mom and Dad to him. His choice.

[CaroGirl]

I'm Canadian and I use Mum for my own mother, whose Scottish by birth and upbringing. My kids call me either mum or mom (I don't actually like the sound of "mom", but whatcha gonna do?). Sometimes my daughter calls me Mama.

ETA: Ma and pa sound like Little House on the Prairie to me.

[jodiodi]

From the south here, and I called my parents Mama and Daddy. I've noticed it seems to be more of a guy thing to use Mom and Dad, too. My husband, born in the Philippines and raised in Chicago, refers to his mother as 'Mom', but calles her Mommy (as do his brother and sister), with the accent on the last syllable and pronunced like mom-EH.

[maestrowork]

Mom or mommy in America. Mum in UK, Australia, etc. Ma or Mama in China... I call mine "mamie." Many people use "mother" as well, especially when serious. All these forms are good, but use it as your characters would. If she's Australian, chances are she will say "mum" instead of "mom."

[Nakhlasmoke]

Er, I'm 30 and I call my mom, "mommy", and my dad, "daddy".

My 5 yo daughter calls me mum and her dad Bwimum, even though we try get her to say mater and pater.

[Southern_girl29]

Most of the men I know here in the South call their mom's Momma. That's what I call mine, and so does my brother. A lot of men here call their father's daddy.

[Harper K]

Count me in as another U.S. Southerner who has a Mama and a Daddy. I'm female and 27. It's hard to find native Southerners here in Atlanta, so the vast majority of my friends and acquaintances use "Mom" and "Dad."

I think I'm quietly self-conscious of what I call my parents -- in conversation with friends, or even with my husband, I would never say, "Mama's meeting me for lunch today," or "My mama's meeting for lunch today." Rather, it's "My mom's meeting me for lunch today."

[Shady Lane]

When I talk about her, she's "my Mom." In everyday conversation, she's Mom. When I want something, she's Mommy. When I'm calling her across the house, she's Mama, equal emphasis on both syllables.

I don't think I've ever used the world "mother" in my life.

"Father," on the other hand, I'll use when I'm talking about him, sometimes when I'm talking to him. I'll use Dad when I'm talking about him, too, and Dad and Daddy to address him.

[megan_d]

They call their father's daddy what? Grandad? Pop?

[Southern_girl29]

They call their father's daddy what? Grandad? Pop?

My grandfather was Papa. My daughter calls one of her grandfathers grandad and the other papa. Here in the South, though, there are a lot of different variations for grandfather. You can have Pawpaw, Pappaw, Grandfather, Papa, Gramps and a bunch of others. We let our daughter pick what she wanted to call her grandparents, so we have Nana and Papa and Grandma and Granddad. She calls my grandmother, Granny.

[Fern]

Grandpa is the norm around here. Also, Paw Paw

Meme is used a lot for Grandmothers these days, although I've only really heard that in the past 30 years or so. Seems like everyone before then was Granny.

We called our mother "Mama" when we were small and then "Mother" as we grew older. Daddy remained Daddy to the girls and the boys switched to Dad.

We grew up calling our grandparents Granny & Grandpa or Paw Paw.
My parents both called their moms "Mama" even at ages 65+ . He said "Dad" - she said "Daddy".

Location - Oklahoma

[johnnysannie]

My son - who is six - started out calling me Ma (and that's Maaa, not Maw which is the common and now old-fashioned form in the US). His sisters call me alternately Mom, Mommy, or Mamma.

[Mud Dauber]

Checking in from the Chicagoland area, where many of my friends and I refer to our mothers as "Ma". Not with a southern drawl like "Maw", but more like rhymes with "Da"... as in... Daaa Bears.:D

[TB4me2000]

I'm nineteen, and I was born in the South and moved to New Jersey when I was...twelve. And I call my parents a variety of (nice!) names. Mom is mom (obviously), mother (infrequently), mum, mama (both with and without the emphasis on the last syllable), and mommy. Dad is dad, father, and daddy (but the Southern pronounciation. I've tried to sound it out phonetically and it kinds of sounds like Deeaddy, but you have to say it fast to get it to sound right. Does anybody know what I'm talking about? Anyone?). And sometimes he's dadders, but that one's a long story...

[aruna]

Don't forget "Mummy" used by smaller children in the UK etc.

[Tracy]

And if your character were lower class and from the North of England, or Welsh, they would call her "mam".

In Ireland we often say 'mam' too, particularly in more rural areas and/or older people (but it wouldn't be a lower class thing). Mum is standard, although I note that 'mom' is infiltrating now as American culture spreads.

[Lady Esther]

Writing mother all over the place looks way too formal and cannot, sensibly, be used in dialogue.


Hey, my characters use "Mother" (and "Father") a lot in dialogue. And it sounds just fine. :tongue

People often find it amusing when they find out that I call my mother "Mother Dear," which is not normal in ANY American home. All of my siblings call her "Mother Dear" even our friends start calling her that. It's sounds normal to me because I've been calling her that since I could talk. I often call her "Mother" too.

[janetbellinger]

I've used mom all my life, never mum or mama. Mother would be too formal.

[stormie]

Just my two cents: I love the term "mama," yet it's not used in my family at all.

[aruna]

Just as an aside: all languages I know have some sort of variation of the word "ma" used for mother. Perhaps it's because this is the first sound a baby makes? Is there any language where "Ma" does not mean mother?

[stormie]

My younger son's first word was "Ma'am," and it was directed at me (like a stranger would call me) :Shrug:

Thankfully he soon graduated to "Mom."

[Thekherham]

In one of my novels, the character calls his mother 'Ma', in another novel, it's 'Mama'.

[JB_Finesse]

To me, mom and dad are usually nouns, whereas "Mama" and "Daddy" are what I call my parents. For some reason "mommy" bothers me a lot.