Summarize your novel in Bookaminute form

JoNightshade · Jul 2, 2007

Inspired by activities on another thread... take a look at this site.

Done? Okay, now summarize your own novel using the Book-A-Minute format.

Zoombie · Jul 2, 2007

Wrong thread!

swvaughn · Jul 2, 2007

Wow, this is... hard!

DISCLAIMER: This is a WIP. It's probably not gonna end like this...

Gavyn

I have the worst luck ever. Why am I a thief, again? Hey, this thug is shooting at me!

Ian

*steps in the way of the bullets. fails to die*

I am a djinn. You are my master. I hate you.

Gavyn

See what I mean?

Ian

Forget you, stupid human. Help me save my world.

Gavyn

I thought I was your master. Besides, you hate me.

Ian

Please?

Gavyn

Fine.

(Gavyn and Ian save the djinn world.)

Gavyn

Uh... now the evil djinn are trying to take over my world...

Ian

Sucker. *goes home*

JoNightshade · Jul 2, 2007

Hahaha, swvaughn, that was pretty good. Okay, I will do mine in a few minutes. Working on something else just now.

Danger Jane · Jul 2, 2007

lmao.

Aello

I'm sick of being a bitch.

(falls in love)

Demetrios

I hate you. No, I love you.

Aello

Too bad.

(abandons)

JoNightshade · Jul 2, 2007

TIMOTHY

I know you screwed up my life but I love you anyway, will you be my dad?

ROGER

I can't tell you. Go away.

ELLIE

I'm lonely, will you love me?

ROGER

I can't tell you either.

OWEN

I hate myself and want to die.

ALL

We know!

(Lots of shooting happens and people are horribly injured but nobody dies.)

ELLIE

I guess I'll stay.

ROGER

I won't order you to leave.

TIMOTHY

That means you're in love, genius.

Zoombie · Jul 2, 2007

Jimmy

Hey, look at this thing I found

Hir

MAH BUKET!

Jimmy

Run away!

Pix

It is his bucket, you know

Anna

I don't like you cause you remind me of my traumatized adoptive daughter.

Ed

I am not traumatized! I'm whimsical! There is a difference, mom!

Hir

Buhahaha, neck snap!

Ed

Argh, I'm dead. Croak.

Pix

No, you're just in my head.

Ed

Buhahahahaha

Jimmy

Eh?

Pix

Sex?

Jimmy

Kay

Ed

You guys are gross.

Jimmy

Save the world?

Pix

More sex?

Jimmy

Both!

Hir

Thwack, thump, shoot, bang, explodes.

Jimmy

Woot! World is saved!

Pix

I'm gonna climb a tree

Jimmy

Ain't getting me up there.

Pix

<throws panties at him>

THE END!

Well...that might be a bit too long and have to many internet memes in it...well ladidah.

swvaughn · Jul 2, 2007

Jo, Danger Jane, Zoombie -- awesome! These are too funny!

I might try this with some of my other novels. It'll be a welcome distraction.

Thanks for posting this, Jo. You may have saved my life tonight.

JoNightshade · Jul 2, 2007

swvaughn said:
Thanks for posting this, Jo. You may have saved my life tonight.

All the blood running to your head? That'll happen when you hang upside down like that.

Oh, wait, that's Gara.

blacbird · Jul 2, 2007

Sux.

caw

JoNightshade · Jul 2, 2007

blacbird said:
Sux.

caw

Is that your summary or your opinion of this thread?

Danger Jane · Jul 2, 2007

WIP #2.

Callianessa

I don't want to die!

(meets people and turns into a human; loses her voice)

Callianessa

...

Lysandros

You're such a good friend

(time's up; turns back into a mermaid and resigns self to eventual DEATH)

blacbird · Jul 2, 2007

JoNightshade said:
Is that your summary or your opinion of this thread?

Summary. Sorry for being so wordy.

caw

SomelBalance · Jul 2, 2007

Sir Glorious: I hate you evil Overlord.

Sinistario: I hate you goody goody knight, but we have to work together.

Sir Glorious: aye lets go to the bad guy base and kill things.

Sinistario: word.

cute farm girl love interest: hello!

Sinistario: OMG HAX!!1 a Grlll!

Glorious: stop this silliness, killing must be done.

they go to the bad guy base and kill things.

Sinistario: about time.

Glorious: help us kill more things.

Sinistario: no.

Glorious: You're a pansy.

Sinistario: ok, I'll help.

They kill more things.

the end.

swvaughn · Jul 2, 2007

JoNightshade said:
All the blood running to your head? That'll happen when you hang upside down like that.

Oh, wait, that's Gara.

Gara RULES!

*SPOILER: Naruto fans who haven't seen the Shippuden saga yet, read no further...*

Gara

I had a horrible childhood. Everyone hates me. I'm going to kill everyone.

*kills almost everyone*

Naruto

Hey! You can't kill my friends! I had a horrible childhood too!

*tries to kick Gara's ass*

*Gara kicks Naruto's ass*

Naruto

*bleeding a lot*

I... have... a... demon inside me!

Gara

My demon is bigger.

*Gara kicks Naruto's ass some more*

Naruto

Ramen is great. Believe it!

Gara

I like Ramen. Okay, I won't kill you. Now I will become the protector of my village, and protect everyone, even though they still hate me.

Gara's village

Some evil guys are going to kill Gara. Let's let them, and elect another village protector while he isn't looking.

Gara

I hate everyone.

JoNightshade · Jul 2, 2007

Oh, oh, I'm gonna do my first (trunked) novel.

Henry

I'm back from the war. Ow.

Mary

Dance with me.

Henry

Dude, I'm crippled.

Mary

Oh, right. Well, do it anyway. Oh, fine, don't. Marry me.

(They get married, Mary gets pregnant, gives birth, and dies.)

Henry

I know I'm a pretty lame dad (pun intended), but your mom was awesome. (Dies)

Daisy

Oh. (Runs off to the city.)

SomelBalance · Jul 2, 2007

this thread is awesome, by the way

Alexandra Little · Jul 2, 2007

Here is one of the two novels I'm actively working on (YA fantasy)

Lark

I'm an outlawed Shadoweaver and I have to run away from the evil Vashien.

Falcoun the Rogue

I will protect you O Pearl of Mine, now give me a kiss.

(They travel)

Vashien

Now I will take your hidden powers!

Lark

Ha! Your measly attempt to take my magic has given me control of it! I capture you now!

Vashien

Ah! I would have succeeded if it weren't for you meddling kids!

Falcoun the Rogue

Good job O Great Shining Moonbeam, now give me a kiss!

Lark

I'm only fifteen, Falcoun.

Falcoun the Rogue

Oh well, I'll wait a couple years for the sequel.

The End.

mscelina · Jul 2, 2007

Fair enough, I'll give it a go.

{Up on Mount Olympus}

Dis

I'll bet you.

Artemis

You're on, buddy.

{Scene pans down to Elven forest)
Kaldarte

No, the Elves didn't fight in the Trojan War.

Tamsen

Seriously? I can take care of that. Hell, no wonder we're cursed.

Brial

I won't permit it.

Tamsen

Screw you buddy. Now get out of my way.

maestrowork · Jul 2, 2007

GREG
My father didn't love me.

LIAN
Grow up.

GREG
You had sex with my dad.

LIAN
Grow up.

GREG
I still love you.

LIAN
Grow the fuck up.

GREG
Bitch. I hate you.

She disappears.

He learns something.

GREG
I am all grown up now. And I love someone else.

LIAN
Great. Let's be BFF.

Alexandra Little · Jul 2, 2007

sadron · Jul 2, 2007

Fun and hard to do.

Sadron
I rather stay and fight!

Shadedil
No! You go to east get help, I'll watch over here.

Shadron
Alright...

(goes to east and somewhere else too.)

Maethor
That Wizard is evil, I can sense it!

Sintar Sornion
I must lead. This is your end, moon elf!

Moreme
I kill you once more, moon elf!

Falian
Why I have to be the leader??

Sadron
Because you're good person. Now It's time for me and Shadedil to leave.

THE END!

julief · Jul 2, 2007

in the spirit of the original site---

Gloria: I don't want to talk about my life.

(precedes to remember her life...with several characters giving their own views and lots of magical type stuff happening)

Gloria: I guess maybe I will talk about my life.

Alexandra Little · Jul 2, 2007

Very fun and hard to do--it's making me look at my stories in a different light.

Scarlet

I'm a female detective in Victorian London who has very little opposition to her activities!

Scarlet's Father

Go sneak out in the middle of the night and investigate, and I won't worry one bit.

Scarlet

Oh look! A murder to solve and high society to prance around in! Anthony, come be my partner and btw I love you!

Anthony

I don't love you, maybe, possibly...I might love you. I don't know. I like to read my books and be a good looking geek.

Big Damn Villain

Aha! It was me all along and I have a fetish for hair!

Anthony

I don't love you Scarlet but you had better not fall for the extremely good looking aristocrat who supports women's rights.

Scarlet

Aha! A new murder case and a cliffhanger to make the reader buy the next book!

Reader

Oh no! A love triangle and a mysterious clue! I must buy the next book!

The End

burgy61 · Jul 2, 2007

Don't know if I am ready to give this a try but I sure do love the thread.

Summarize your novel in Bookaminute form

has finally arrived

Dragon of the Multiverse

adrift

has finally arrived

has finally arrived

Dragon of the Multiverse

adrift

has finally arrived

has finally arrived

General Armpit

adrift

has finally arrived

General Armpit

What a desolation.

Teh doommobile, drivin' rite by you

Fear the Death Ray

What a desolation.

Writing Dark Fantasy

Hardly here

What a desolation.