Hiring an entertainment lawyer to submit on your behalf isn't any better than you sending queries yourself, UNLESS your entertainment lawyer has connections.
If I call XYZ producer and ask if they will read my awesome script about killer penguins hell bent on ruling mankind using mind control (just off the top of my head) is the same as an lawyer doing so UNLESS they know said lawyer.
So my advice is to only use lawyers who have a connection in the industry and not just any lawyer, entertainment or otherwise.
Yes. The legalities of submissions are easier through a lawyer but a simple release form takes care of that problem and all producers and companies of worth will have you sign it along with your submission before they read page 1.
As for readers... You are correct. The vast majority of them are young interns who have a chip on their shoulder, but they do have guidelines from their boss to follow as to what types of scripts to focus on and bump up to senior level. When I read for a company a few years ago, I had a checklist of things to fill out and my recommend, consider or pass meant absolutely nothing.
The truth of the matter for getting read is to get an agent or manager, especially if you do not live in LA (as I do).
If you do not have either and live in LA, then networking is the best route, but not grocery stores. A producer who is at a 7-11 buying a pack of smokes does not and will be bothered if approached. There are plenty of networking parties, events and other functions that are more receptive to pitching.
If you do not live in LA, then the only option (other than flying out regularly) is to send query letters, use inktip, scriptpimp, whatever.
The point is to get your name out there by any means necessary, yet properly.
Okay, here are my two cents on the whole cold submission question.
First off, and perhaps most importantly, if your script is either lousy or mediocre, it isn't going to sell no matter what ingenious strategy you might employ to get it read.
The mindset that says, "Well, this script is better than X" -- with X being some movie that you just saw that you thought was lousy isn't a mindset that's going to get a script sold. First off, there are all sorts of reasons that have nothing to do with the quality of the initial script that results in a movie ending up lousy.
Second, they already have writers who can do that kind of journeyman work and who, at the very least, they know are capable of taking and executing notes and who have a track record of successful produced movies behind them. As between hiring them, mediocre though they may be, and you -- it's going to be them.
The work that you sell as a first script has to be exceptional in some way, preferably exceptional in every way.
Presuming that you have such a script -- what then?
Getting an agent? It's been done, but the process of submitting material to agents and agencies is about the same as submitting to development companies. And while you can hit, and get an agent who believes in you and will stick with you, more often than not, if you manage to get an agent (not impossible, but exceptionally unlikely) the amount of time and effort you agent will expend trying to sell your material will be quite limited, because an agent's time is his money, and he's going to spend most of his time trying to market his most experienced and lucrative clients -- not you. He'll most likely send your script around to a company that has an "in" at each studio. If there's no interest, that's it. He's done with that script.
You will, at best, be very low down on the totem pole for most agents at most agencies. That's if you can even get an agent, which is a major undertaking in itself.
It is actually much easier to get your work read at development companies than at agencies.
In my experience -- and I've worked both as a senior story editor at a development company and as a screenwriter -- written queries, though they can produce a certain response, usually produce the lowest success rate.
E-mail queries aren't much better.
Why? Because execs already have too much to read. And having things covered costs money. Every time they say "yes" -- it means something else has to be covered. That's money. If the coverage comes back positive, it means something else that they'll have to read. And they already have too much to read.
So if it's possible to say no, chances are they will. Or, to be precise, if you make it easy for them to say no, chances are they will.
And the fact is, execs everywhere know the grim statistics regarding spec scripts by unsold writers. During the six years I worked at my old company, we had an open door policy -- we'd read pretty much anything that anybody sent, so long as they signed a release form. Over those six years, we must have had something like two to three thousand spec screenplays from unsold writers submitted to us.
Didn't buy one. Didn't option one.
Zero out of any amount constitutes pretty poor odds.
And so the natural tendency at most places, when you get a request like that is to follow the line of least resistance, which is from the top of your desk to the waste basket immediately beneath. One less thing to be covered. One less piece of paper to be dealt with.
E-mail -- even easier. Just move your finger to the delete button. Gone.
So what is the alternative?
You call. Get yourself a copy of the Hollywood Creative Directory. Identify the appropriate companies, the names of the execs -- either Head of Development or Creative Exec, you call and you ask to talk to them.
And, under normal circumstances, you will be stopped dead. You won't be able to.
Why? Because the receptionist or the exec's assistant will ask you what the call is about. And you'll tell them. And they'll ask the lethal question.
Do you have an agent?
And you'll say no.
And they'll tell you that they only read scripts from writers with agents.
But this isn't really true. They just say this because they want you to go away. Not you personally, just all unagented unsold writers in the world, generally. Because they know how long the probability is that you'll have a script worth reading.
And once you hear these words, you are doomed. It is too late. The conversation is over and you have to go away forever.
But if, instead of simply saying, "no," you say, "No, I generally submit my scripts through my attorney," -- very often -- not all the time, but frequently, this will get you through.
That's because just enough pro writers do this that the person you're talking to might just buy that you are not, in fact, a complete and total amateur -- and put you through.
Then, you're on. You'll have to talk to whoever it is, discuss your screenplay, pitch it, sound like an adult, make them want to read it. Engage them, sound nice and pleasant.
And this is the point. Because once you're talking to somebody on the phone -- and that somebody wants you to read their script, the "line of least resistance" is a whole different thing. To say "no" means an unpleasant encounter. It means making somebody unhappy. Maybe they'll argue with you, maybe they'll yell.
Nobody wants that. So unless you give them a very easy out -- like the genre is wrong, or the budget is completely off which, if you've done your homework, it shouldn't be -- they're going to tell you to send it.
Now, the fact is, for purposes of submitting a screenplay, you don't need an entertainment attorney. Just any attorney with an office and some letterhead who'll write you a cover letter will do fine. A family attorney, a friend who's an attorney. Whatever.
Now, if it comes to the point that they make an offer - then you need the real thing. An attorney that specializes in entertainment law. But don't go looking for one just to submit your screenplays because they don't come cheap and they're not going to start entering into a percentage deal with an unsold writer.
And in case you're wondering, I've done this and I know that other people have done it too and it does work.
But it will only work to get your script read.
If it's lousy, they still won't buy it.
NMS
