According to James Patterson, this post is long enough to be a chapter.

Prawn · Jun 19, 2007

Chapter One

I just drove from Orlando to Little Rock, listening to James Patterson's The Jester along the way.

I swear that book had...

Chapter Two

...a chapter break every three hundred words.

What's up with that? There were no scene breaks, rather every scene break was a chapter break. And he tried to put a hook in at the end of every chapter. I felt like I had fallen in the tackle box.

MidnightMuse · Jun 19, 2007

Perhaps he has that bladder issue many older men get - and needs that many breaks? :Shrug:

Will Lavender · Jun 19, 2007

Patterson is a former ad man who felt that he could "design" his books -- cover, chapters, sentences -- so that they would appeal to people. He found that people like reading short chapters and short sentences, and so that's what he uses.

Apparently, it worked.

I think he is the absolute worst of the popular writers, and it's not even close. I've taken a (pun coming) stab at two of his novels and detested both with a passion.

I can understand why most writers have such mass appeal. Grisham. King, of course. Koontz. But Patterson's popularity continues to amaze me.

Calla Lily · Jun 19, 2007

Louis Sachar's Holes had incredibly short chapters. Some only one or two paragraphs. It was YA, so the rules might be a little different, but my kids loved the book--and thought the short chapters were "cool."

One of the writing hints I learned is short chapters give the reader the feelig the book is moving quickly--and that they're accomplishing more reading through that illusion. Who knows? My chapters average 7 pages, double-spaced. Not intentional, just the way I write.

Prawn · Jun 19, 2007

Don't get me started on the quality. Okay, get me started. It is set in the 12th century, yet it is full of things like "chip of the old block" "I want to be your mentor" and "keel over" in addition to the lord of the manor killing all of his serfs. It would be like the master of the plantation killing all of his slaves.

scarletpeaches · Jun 19, 2007

One of the chapters in my WIP is about 5k words long and can't be broken up because it's one single scene. The first chapter is half that length. I don't suppose it matters much if there's a difference in chapter length so long as there's a reason for it. I guess my average is about 4k or thereabout, but it varies.

I've read nearly all Patterson's books. They make me feel better about my own.

Calla Lily · Jun 19, 2007

Thank you for giving me a reason not to pick up a Patterson. :tongue

I finally caved and took a Grisham out of the library--The Testament, because I heard it was a little different from his usual.

First 200 pages or so--interesting, moved quickly, kind like brain-popcorn.

Last 700 pages (augh) I could not have cared less whether any character--major or minor--lived, died, or was slowly digested by one of the anacondas he mentioned. I had the same reaction to the Left Behinds. Altho in the latter, I was actively rooting for people to get killed. In Testament, I was simly bored out of my skull.

Any Grisham fans out there? How does he get away with 2-D characters and pages and pages of courtroom scene padding?

Are Patterson's characters 2-D--or do the chapters move so fast you can't tell? [evil grin]

Devil Ledbetter · Jun 19, 2007

I browsed through a Patterson book in the checkout line at the grocery store the other day. The first few pages read like one big cliche, with all of the things we're instructed to avoid as first-time authors. It was like he was deliberately thumbing his nose at all that. I swear, he started with the weather (rain beating on a window) then had his character waking up and looking in the mirror to describe herself. Gah!

(Okay, maybe I fictionalized that mirror part.)

Soccer Mom · Jun 19, 2007

Yanno, I really tried to like Patterson. My parents have read everything he (or one of his ghosties) has ever written. But I don't care for him at all. And the Jester was HORRIBLE--IMHO. My mother talked me into it.

But he obviously gets away with it because fsome olks like it. Actually, I guess a lot of folks like it and he sells a lot of books. :Shrug:

freshpencils · Jun 19, 2007

I recently [tried to] read one of Patterson's books; I don't even remember which one.

About every 5th sentence was constructed like this: When so and so was doing this or that, what's his name was ____ing something else. His favorite verb form, the infinitive. The characters don't go or come or think. They're all going, coming and thinking! Or they are going, are coming and are thinking.

That's my pet peeve - it's driving me crazy!! (hee hee)

Soccer Mom · Jun 19, 2007

freshpencils said:
I recently [tried to] read one of Patterson's books; I don't even remember which one.

About every 5th sentence was constructed like this: When so and so was doing this or that, what's his name was ____ing something else. His favorite verb form, the infinitive. The characters don't go or come or think. They're all going, coming and thinking! Or they are going, are coming and are thinking.

That's my pet peeve - it's driving me crazy!! (hee hee)

Stop that. While you were writing that, I was laughing. Stop making me laugh.

MidnightMuse · Jun 19, 2007

I've tried Patterson. I've tried Grisham. I've even tried Ludlum.

I found Valium more stimulating.

BlueBadger · Jun 19, 2007

Louis Sachar's Holes had incredibly short chapters. Some only one or two paragraphs. It was YA, so the rules might be a little different, but my kids loved the book--and thought the short chapters were "cool."

Holes is one of my favourite YA books hands-down. Its narrative is quick and clean, and I'm guessing the frequent chapter breaks contribute to that.

Incidentally, my favourite short story is "The Mist" by Stephen King, and that's broken up into bite-sized chapters too.

NeuroFizz · Jun 19, 2007

It's not the size of the chapter, it's what the writer does with it.

Now read it again--seriously.

Soccer Mom · Jun 19, 2007

Of course, Holes isn't even really YA, it's MG and only 47,000 words. It's geared to 4th and 5th graders and specifically for the short attention spans of young boys.

But that doesn't stop it from being one of my favorite books too. It's just a great read.

Sean D. Schaffer · Jun 19, 2007

DragonHeart by Charles Edward Pogue had some pretty short chapters in the novelization. A couple chapters were only a half-page in length.

But like NeuroFizz pointed out, it's what the writer does with the chapter, and not the chapter length, that makes all the difference in the world.

The chapters in DragonHeart were quite concise, but they were also quite satisfying a read for me.

BlueBadger · Jun 19, 2007

Of course, Holes isn't even really YA, it's MG and only 47,000 words. It's geared to 4th and 5th graders and specifically for the short attention spans of young boys.

Oops, you're right! That increases my respect for Sachar that much more.

(I'm a litle ignorant about children's writing, so I must ask what MG stands for. XD)

Unfortuantely, I picked up the "movie" edition of the book, which includes a photo gallery in the middle of the story. I had two major problems as a result:

1) I'd envisioned the characters in my own way, and when I hit the middle of the story I felt like I was being told, "No, they look like this." After that, I couldn't get the movie characters out of my head.

2) The photos gave away the ending to the book. All of it.

Effective visual aid, or the dumbest picture placement in the history of publishing? You decide!

Will Lavender · Jun 19, 2007

NeuroFizz said:
It's not the size of the chapter, it's what the writer does with it.

Very true.

Faulkner's most famous chapter is five words long: the fish chapter from As I Lay Dying.

kristie911 · Jun 19, 2007

I know I'm going to be a minority here but I actually enjoy reading Patterson. I'm currently reading 6th Target, the 6th in his Murder Club series. I love it.

I like the short chapters, the quick read. The fast pace. It's mindless entertainment and it's exactly what I want. If I want something more, I'll pick up a literary novel but I want a nice breezy summer read. And Patterson fits the bill.

MidnightMuse · Jun 19, 2007

kristie911 said:
I know I'm going to be a minority here but I actually enjoy reading Patterson. I'm currently reading 6th Target, the 6th in his Murder Club series. I love it.

Yeah, but weren't you hit on the head recently?

(I'm kidding!!!)

Seriously, there's no better feeling than finding an author you can devour and enjoy, especially for summer reading fun.

Diane · Jun 19, 2007

freshpencils said:
About every 5th sentence was constructed like this: When so and so was doing this or that, what's his name was ____ing something else. His favorite verb form, the infinitive.

Pssst. The "____ing" form is the gerund. "To ____" is the infinitive.

maestrowork · Jun 19, 2007

As long as it works for him. His suspense novels are very good, and the short chapters work for him. His romance/love story novels, however, are horrible, and yet people buy because it is "James Patterson."

Diane · Jun 19, 2007

Well, they're both doing the Patterson clan proud, and I hope to add to their number soon.

CatSlave · Jun 19, 2007

Will Lavender said:
Very true.

Faulkner's most famous chapter is five words long: the fish chapter from As I Lay Dying.

Patterson ain't no Faulkner.

His style make me think of television, which overall has been dumbed-down to the level of about an average twelve-year-old. There may be a lot of people who find his writing appealing (easy to read) but I'm not one of them.

I refuse to watch TV for the same reason I refuse to read any more of his books.

Shady Lane · Jun 19, 2007

This is funny, becuase I actually just wrote a chapter that was exactly 300 words.

They're all right, in moderation.

According to James Patterson, this post is long enough to be a chapter.

Writing is finite,revising infinite

Midnight Reading

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The grad students did it

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