The worst ever

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SRHowen

Hi all,

I am looking for examples of the worst fiction you have ever seen.

This is for the writers group I run. New members need to crit a sample before they can join the group.

Any ideas?

Shawn
 

SRHowen

LOL

I did think of that one. But the errors are so glaringly obvious that it's not much of a test.

Shawn
 

detante

Trying to get a feel for what you want. Just published fiction? Do vanity press or web published things count? Any particular length?

Jen
 

reph

You could borrow something from the Share Your Work forum. Just don't ask its author for permission now that you've revealed your purpose.
 

evanaharris

I could send you some of my early Psycho Gerbil stories.</deadpan>
 

SRHowen

Even from the share your work section--it's a test to see how the person crits, not of the work itself.

I've had a problem with crits where people are downright rude, have no idea how to crit in a diplomatic way and insert -- how can I say it nice? Personal opinions, bigotry, and declaring absolutes based on opinions on how they would write it. (with no base in grammar or any other story "rule" other than their own idea) Does that make sense?

For the most part I've had a good group--but before I go through that again, I want to make sure the person knows how to word a crit.

Any piece will do, so long as I have permission to use it.

And I am looking for 3 new members right now, possibly 5 all together if I don't hear from a couple of group members this week.

Shawn
 

macalicious731

An excerpt or two from da Vinci Code? Of course, if this is a test, that might be too prominent since people might recognize it.

Try something from the YA genre. Some of that can be pretty terrible. I'll think more on a specific example.
 

Euan Harvey

I say go for Atlanta Nights. It made my eyeballs bleed, it was so bad.
 

red423

There are too many..........

that tie for first place. Going back to Heinlin and many others, most of what I have read in the last couple years ties for first place.
I liken it to this, if you ever read "The man who sold the Moon" and could feel the pain of it as you read every word. It isn't hard to see many tie for first place, as worst.
Fiction to me is the ability to be able to put the reader into first person, that is the true meaning of fiction,science or otherwise to me anyway.....red
 

novelator

Re: There are too many..........

I'd say if you want to compare the differences between POV shifts in a scene (slick versus annoying) take Stephen King's Needful Things and pit that against Paul Thereaux's Ozone.

I was impressed with the shifts in Needful Things, so smooth and well-done, while Ozone annoyed to the point of distraction, enough so that I almost didn't finish the book.

Just my tenth of cent's worth.

Mari
 

Vomaxx

Robert Newcomb's "The Fifth Sorceress" sets very high standards of awfulness.
 

sc211

If you want to see how mercifully and/or unhelpfully critical they are, ask their spouses. :D

But really, you could simply write your own piece - like three paragraphs - because if you use "the worst ever," your workshop members might not be able to see past the crap to a workable solution to the various problems. Make the errors obvious - pov, verb tense, possessives - but not wretch-inducing.

From there you could go into how to and how not to give critiques, giving examples of both helpful and unkind comments.

For one of the poor-critique examples you could use what I received back from a classmate in a writing class: "Well, looks like you @#%$ up everyone again."

(But hey, cosmic justice was served - my instructor, Dennis McFarland, happened to ask for my papers that day to see how well we were being critiqued. :p )

Long Live Psycho Gerbils!
 

katdad

"The White Hotel" by D.M. Thomas made me bleed out the ears.

You may also want to try Whitley Schreiber's (sp?) UFO abduction "non-fiction" books. Stupefying.
 

Trapped in amber

Shawn, is this an on-line writers group?

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PixelFish

There's always Left Behind, if you are looking for exerpts, but it's so well-known potential critters might have read it already.
 

SRHowen

Worst Ever

Yes, it's a small on-line writers group. We mainly focus on crits, but have weekly chats, and support each other as well.

We have both a Yahoo mail group, and an EZ board. It's not a substitution for AW by any means--as it's a private group limited to 12 members.

Some people are just not a good match for a particular group. Some just drop out, no reason ever given.

We do send around chit chat e-mails--but that's part of the support system. At times we get downright silly. But the crits fro the most part are good, honest, helpful. It's when they turn otherwise that I turn into head female dog type person and say enough.

Shawn
 

red423

Understandable

I look at reading as entertainment, the one statement that keeps running, like a loop in my mind, playing over and over,"were you not entertained, is that not the reason you are here? To be entertained?" When I mark my place, so I can return to the exact page where I left. Yes, I have been entertained. And the only sadness I will have,not wanting to ever admit it, is knowing there is a last page............red
 

HollyB

How about The Celestine Prophecy? (shudders)

It seems unfair to make people buy/check out of the library, or take the time to read, a book you know they'll hate. Why not have them critique an online short story? (The only problem is finding a bad one.)
 

SRHowen

I have found a story--given to me by someone well known who didn't find a home for it--an early work.

But this list of the worst is very interesting.

No, I wouldn't have someone crit a whole book, only a portion of a short story--sent to them.

Shawn
 

sc211

There's a great essay called "Critique Group Dysfunction" by Hope Vestergaard in the 2005 Children's Writers and Illustrators Market that sums up the situation you're facing very well.

I tried to find it on the web a few months ago, to post it here, but it's not yet up on the boards.

In the essay she lists out the types of people in critique groups and lists their strengths and weaknesses, as well as how to work with them.

They include the Bulldozer, the Cheerleader/Gusher, Contrary Mary, the Drill Sergeant/Chairman of the Board, the Green-Eyed Monster (read as envy), the Hog/Center of the Universe, the Mother's Hen, the Mouse, the Battleaxe, the Star Pupil, the Stickler, and the Dreamer.

She also has a page on "Giving Good Feedback," which splits the criticism between Big Picture - characters, plot, structure, freshness, and theme, and Little Picture - mechanics, literary devices, character development, pov, voice, and authenticity.

Worth checking out, if even in a bookstore.
 
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