Emotional distance

Namatu · Jun 4, 2007

I rediscovered some of my older writing this weekend and it confirmed something I've been struggling with lately. My writing used to be much more emotionally accessible. I now tend to write with more distance between my characters and my audience. I liked my older work much more than my current creations. It resonated, had strength and impact that - maybe I'm just hating on my current work right now - my new material doesn't have.

I think I've lost how to bring that more immediate emotional connection to my writing.

Suggestions? Has anyone dealt with a similar challenge in their writing?

justpat · Jun 4, 2007

Don't know what to tell you. For me it's always the opposite. When I go back and read something very old, it makes me cringe, it's so bad. Which makes me wonder, in a year or two, if I read what I'm working on now, will it also be crap?

Namatu · Jun 4, 2007

Yeah, that's what I was hoping to experience myself.

justpat · Jun 4, 2007

Yeah, your problem sounds unique, but at least you were better at one time. My guess is that you picked up a bad habit somewhere. The good news is that you've already narrowed down what that habit is. All that's left to do now is to break it. Maybe they make a patch for that?

Diviner · Jun 4, 2007

Without reading your work, I can't address the issue, but I can suggest a return to writing exercises. Take issues that tear you up and write a paragraph or more about them. Write about the same thing from different POV's, including first person. Emphasize setting, too, where the setting enhances the feelings in one version and plays against it in the second. I just read an essay that suggested writers show feelings through descriptions of place rather than through feelings. It seems like good advice. If nothing else, it is fun to do.

When I want to get at the heart of things, I use a pencil and paper. Somehow the connection is more direct. Also, it may be that you are outlining now whereas before you wrote in a less directed fashion. Some of us are not meant to outline.

Good luck.

Namatu · Jun 4, 2007

Good suggestions. Thanks, Diviner. I have started to do some of that. Patience is a hard virtue to master!

scarletpeaches · Jun 4, 2007

Perhaps you're using filters? It's something I do a lot in first drafts. "It seemed as if..." - "She felt like she..." Well instead of saying what something is like, say what it is!

I've also spoken to a few writers who can't being themselves to write deeply emotional scenes because it hurts too much to cause harm to their characters. I always say, "Write through the pain." Avoiding it can be a major cause of emotional distance.

ink wench · Jun 4, 2007

Have you spent some good "head" time with your characters? I feel like mine come out the strongest in words when I'm devoting a lot of non-writing time to thinking about them.

Also, and this might have no relevance to you, but has something else in your writing style changed as well? For example, my WIP is 1st person, and until now all my novels have been 3rd person. Instead of giving me more intimacy, sometimes I feel like my MC is coming off forced because I'm trying too hard to be in her head.

Good luck working through it.

Namatu · Jun 4, 2007

My writing style hasn't changed so much as my life. You know how when you have a lot to deal with, you just cope and save the processing for later? I've been stuck in cope mode, no wallowing in the nitty gritty for quite some time. Perhaps that's key. I'm going to go do some exercises as homework tonight.

Shady Lane · Jun 4, 2007

I think this is one of the benefits of being so young. Nowhere to go but up.

Namatu, I don't think you've lost anything you can't get back. Maybe it's just the material. You can certainly be more emotionally involved as a writer in one work over another, and that does come through to the reader.

Maybe the next project will have that connection you're looking for. Maybe the one after that. Maybe the one you're working on now will get there. Keep trucking.

herdon · Jun 4, 2007

Namatu said:
I rediscovered some of my older writing this weekend and it confirmed something I've been struggling with lately. My writing used to be much more emotionally accessible. I now tend to write with more distance between my characters and my audience. I liked my older work much more than my current creations. It resonated, had strength and impact that - maybe I'm just hating on my current work right now - my new material doesn't have.

I think I've lost how to bring that more immediate emotional connection to my writing.

Suggestions? Has anyone dealt with a similar challenge in their writing?

I think sometimes people can get so caught up in the rules that they forget the writing. (Not that there is a rule against being close to your PoV character -- far from it -- but I think that the constant thinking of the rules can subtract from the feel of the writing which can then lead to more distance.)

Self-Editing for Fiction Writers has some good stuff to say about distance. I'd definately read it if you haven't already done so just to get their opinions on the subject.

As for writing exercises, I would be practical about it. Take a scene from your most recent ms that you would like to get closer to the PoV and rewrite it. Save it as a different filename if you want, but use it to get back into the flow of writing closer to your character's thoughts.

Personally, I tend to write more distant when there is a lot of action and closer at pivotal points in the story, but there is no set rule and action scenes can certainly work well 'close' to the character as well as distant from them.

(If you have a lot of action scenes it can even be a good way to differentiate them.)

Danger Jane · Jun 4, 2007

Shady Lane said:
I think this is one of the benefits of being so young. Nowhere to go but up.

Namatu, I don't think you've lost anything you can't get back. Maybe it's just the material. You can certainly be more emotionally involved as a writer in one work over another, and that does come through to the reader.

Maybe the next project will have that connection you're looking for. Maybe the one after that. Maybe the one you're working on now will get there. Keep trucking.

I think you might have it. Sometimes I feel like this with my writing, like it just has no emotion, and I think it has to do with how deeply I'm involved (emotionally) in the writing. So I take a break, work on something else maybe, and come back to it fresh. It kind of turns into writer's block because it frustrates me greatly.

Cassiopeia · Jun 4, 2007

Take a good peek at your personal life. Are you having to have distance from your emotions to handle ongoing stresses? Sometimes we think we can fragment ourselves from our daily life and our writing life and it isn't possible. What we are feeling inevitably spills over into our work. That doesn't mean we have to write about ourselves but I can promise you, if you are numbing yourself from something in your life, you will tend to write that way as well.

Just an idea, good luck.

Dawnstorm · Jun 4, 2007

Just a quick question. Does your vivid stuff stem from the pre-crit-board days? If so, you may have been stunned by the sledge hammer of writing-rule-clichéness. I've seen it happen to others. One writer I know produces either great stories with awful punctuation, or dull stories with decent punctuation. The word-doctor has an easier time with the former type. The latter is struggling, if not still-born.

Namatu · Jun 4, 2007

Cassiopeia said:
Take a good peek at your personal life. Are you having to have distance from your emotions to handle ongoing stresses? Sometimes we think we can fragment ourselves from our daily life and our writing life and it isn't possible. What we are feeling inevitably spills over into our work. That doesn't mean we have to write about ourselves but I can promise you, if you are numbing yourself from something in your life, you will tend to write that way as well.

Just an idea, good luck.

This is it. I've been avoiding cracking down the wall, too, because it's a lot easier to keep on the way things are, but seeing some of my older work and comparing it to what I do now (not that I think what I do now is bad), I want that element back.

I am going to try many of the suggestions here. Thanks for all of them!

FloVoyager · Jun 4, 2007

I've noticed my writing has suffered a bit from knowing more now than I did then. I'm second guessing myself, and my work, too much.

Namatu · Jun 4, 2007

If you find yourself "in the moment," then don't stop, just keep going. My best work - with the emotional element! - happens that way.

Cassiopeia · Jun 4, 2007

FloVoyager said:
I've noticed my writing has suffered a bit from knowing more now than I did then. I'm second guessing myself, and my work, too much.

Yep, I noticed that as well. So I have come to the conclusion I must tell my story and be done with it. THEN and only then can I go back and edit.

Dancre · Jun 4, 2007

One of the readers under SYW told me I had the same problem. She felt that I was distancing myself from my MC because of either fear or beliefs. She told me to stop. She said, dig deep down and bring up those feelings and pour them into the story. I took her advice and I'm glad I did. My story has taken a different turn now. All my characters have depth that was missing. Really quite cool. So dig deep down and bring those things out. Don't be afraid to face your demons and angels. It helped me.

kim

WordGypsy · Jun 4, 2007

I have the opposite problem. With my WIP I was too close and the writing suffered for it. Keep going, keep editting and eventually you'll find a balance!

Akuma · Jun 4, 2007

Havlen said:
(Not that there is a rule against being close to your PoV character -- far from it -- but I think that the constant thinking of the rules can subtract from the feel of the writing which can then lead to more distance.)

Right on the mark.

pdr · Jun 4, 2007

If...

you are having to cope and keep the lid on your emotions, it will affect your writing style.

If you are in a personal situation where you can't let rip, or need time to deal with the blows, then use the different, bottled up, flatten emotional state to write about people in that same state.

Try writing stories about people who have to cope and not feel. Think about all the usual, like coping with in-laws, nasty relatives, family situations where the character cannot let rip or they'll tear the family apart. What about aged senile relatives to look after, children in serious head injury accidents, characters desperately trying to keep their marriage from falling apart because of the children. What about those poor characters in small communities terrified that the neighbours will find out...always living in fear of 'what will people say!'

I'm sure you can think of more original situations, but if you can't alter your coping situation right now, and it would cause even more problems if you did, then use it to write about people doing the same thing.

Melanie Nilles · Jun 5, 2007

It could also be a combination of many things. Most of what has been said applies to me, in different combinations. I find lately that my current WIP comes and goes with emotional depth. When it's gone, I write crap that I end up deleting, or rather cutting out of the WIP and saving in a deleted scenes file. I then have to find that motivation again, which always involves something in my life, my real life, coming to the surface. It could be lack of good sleep, stress, emotional restraint (as others have mentioned), or any combination, since they're all related. I then need to sit back and give myself permission to relax and forget all the rules. Scrap the rules! Get back to what you feel. Give yourself permission to enjoy every moment without meeting goals or writing perfect prose the moment it comes out through the keyboard.

ccarver30 · Jun 5, 2007

justpat said:
Don't know what to tell you. For me it's always the opposite. When I go back and read something very old, it makes me cringe, it's so bad. Which makes me wonder, in a year or two, if I read what I'm working on now, will it also be crap?

^^ That's me too.

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