How do I know I started my WIP in the right place?

My fantasy novel alternates POVs between two characters, Brodin and Moonstone, who eventually meet. (They know each other before the novel starts.)

The first chapter starts with Brodin (a border lord living in his castle) waking up from a recurring nightmare about a battle that still haunts him. (This is more interesting than it sounds. I think. And it's important as the battle forms an important part of the character, and relates to the theme.) Then the ghost of his former lover (who now has to carry his head around) tells him of bad omens about the king's fate. The next chapter is from the POV of Moonstone, the palace mage. It starts with the king's son returning to the kingdom, trying to make peace with his father (although many suspect that he isn't really interested in peace at all). The third chapter shows Brodin commemorating the battle that still haunts him, and in the fourth chapter, the king is poisoned, and Moonstone is wrongfully imprisoned for the murder.

Interesting stuff happens in the other chapters. Yet when I look back, I wonder about those first two chapters. I guess I could combine Chapters One and Three into Chapter One and then combine Chapters Two and Four into Chapter Two. Does that sound as if it could work? It would mean longer until Moonstone gets his first chapter, and all four chapters take place over two days, but I guess I could hammer them together?...

Sigh Sigh

maestrowork said:

Are you done with your draft?

If not, keep writing. Ask us again when you're done.

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Yes, I'm done. I'm doing revisions. I also want to make sure I'm not removing the wrong things. Sigh again.

JoNightshade said:

Personally I'd start with Moonstone being imprisoned for the king's murder and having him think back on the past few days, perhaps remembering a conversation with the king about his dream.

Also, what Maestro said.

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Unfortunately, Moonstone doesn't have the dream. (He later gets killed because of Brodin's nightmare, but that's a later chapter. ) And Brodin doesn't see the king during this story until the kign comes back as a ghost.

Hmm, I might just open with the chapter where Brodin marks the tenth anniversary of the battle and move up his dream and the ghost's warning to that day. I'd kind of prefer to start with Brodin because while they are both my MCs, Brodin is the cuddlier one. If a border lord with PTSD and occasional battle rages can be considered cuddly.

maestrowork said:

OK, now we're talking.

Well, not having read your work, it's hard to tell. But from your short synopsis, I would start with the King being poisoned. That's in media res. Everything else seems to be "back story" (the dream, the lover's prophecy, return of the King's son, etc. The story really doesn't start until the king was poisoned and Moonstone was wrongfully accused of the murder.

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Oh, ack, how could I forget? There's the scene in Chapter Three where Brodin has a depressing "tryst" (if you can call it that) with a secondary character named Guy. Brodin doesn't really want to, but he is so lonely that he can't help it. And Guy ends up forming an unwanted attachment to him. Waah, I can't lose that scene.


Maybe I should start with Chapter Three and skip the dream. It doesn't have a dead king or battles or cool things like that, but I really like it. Or maybe I should have the king being poisoned in the first chapter and have the stuff in Chapter Three take place after the king's murder. Hmm... Sigh.

JoNightshade said:

Actually I meant the king's dream-- but then I realized that Brodin and the King are not the same person. Oops, sorry. I still think you should start with the death of the king/imprisonment though.

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If I do that, I'll move that chapter first. I don't want to lose the chapter where Brodin celebrates the anniversary of the battle because it's so important to him (and so sad, etc.). Oh but there are so many fun moments that I'll have to lose, many of them involving the king's estranged wife. Sob! (She invited herself into her novel and then became so much fun to write.)

JoNightshade said:

But since you said Moonstone dies... is it safe to assume Brodin is your MC here?

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Moonstone comes back as a ghost. He even has some POV scenes as a ghost. I'm also working with an ending where he becomes an immortal, or near immortal, at the end. Can't get ird of the guy.

TheIT said:

Maybe the index card method will help? Put descriptions of your scenes/chapters onto index cards so you can try shuffling the order. Also, I'd suggest trying to decide the purpose of each of the scenes. How do they add to the overall story? If the scene isn't adding much, you might be able to take the story-specific elements and add them to other scenes.

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I've been working on this for so long that I no longer remember what they add. I'm afraid that if I'm not careful, I'll take out stuff that's actually good in the name of "revising."

TheIT said:

How's the word count? Are you over or under?

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Last time I looked, I was pretty much on target for a fantasy novel. It might have changed since because of some of my recent edits. And I still have to shave out all the extra "that's" and "turned and said's" and such.

maestrowork said:

Sounds good. The best of both worlds -- you get your dead king, conspiracy, and a juicy tryst right off the bat.

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Actually the poisoning chapter starts out with the king in bed with Moonstone. Well that's one way to establish what kind of novel it is...

Soccer Mom said:

Death and sex in the first chapter? Ding, ding ding! We have a winner.

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Good point there.

Actually even if I start with Brodin commemm... comemm.. uhm, commemorating ... the battle, there is a sort of sex scene in that one. Although it involves the infamous Guy so it doesn't really count. Hint to Guy: If your partner stares into a fire and cries over lost comrades while you're ... "comforting" ... him, then you must be doing something wrong.