Underlining characters' thoughts...or not?

scarletpeaches · May 17, 2007

How would you indicate characters' thoughts when they're broken up by tags? I know it's standard to underline where there are no thought tags, and to use normal type when you tag, but what about this:

Oh damn, Nichola thought. I don't know how to indicate thoughts.

Now, the second sentence is clearly a thought as the tag immediately precedes it in the same paragraph, but should I underline it, as it's a stand-alone sentence? Or leave it, as it's clear who's doing the thinking?

ErylRavenwell · May 17, 2007

If the rest of your manuscript is in the past tense, an abrupt change of tense to the present is a clear indication enough of a thought process. No need to underline (italicize)...or even tag.

Now, take everything I say with a pint of salt. I'm not that experienced; but this is what Belva Plain did in Evergreen.

Jamesaritchie · May 17, 2007

Thoughts

If a thought is important enough to show, rather than paraphrase, as in she thought she'd go to the store, then it's important enough to underline. Not underlining a direct thought means an interruption in flow. Even if the reader gets it because of tense, there's still a moment of questioning.

The rule of thumb is to work unimportant thoughts into the narrative, but underline the important ones.

ErylRavenwell · May 17, 2007

Jamesaritchie said:
If a thought is important enough to show, rather than paraphrase, as in she thought she'd go to the store, then it's important enough to underline. Not underlining a direct thought means an interruption in flow. Even if the reader gets it because of tense, there's still a moment of questioning.

The rule of thumb is to work unimportant thoughts into the narrative, but underline the important ones.

Nod. The conventional way.

Elodie-Caroline · May 17, 2007

I've got to be honest here Nichola, I don't like italics and so won't write in them. I do a lot of inner thought for my MCs and I don't underline them either. Because of the way I do my thoughts for my MCs, I asked the people who had read my MS if it was readable and understandable? They are ardent readers and said yes.
I actually found that writing thoughts as normal writing was perfectly ok to do in a book about editing your own novel too.

Elodie

scarletpeaches · May 17, 2007

Jamesaritchie said:
If a thought is important enough to show, rather than paraphrase, as in she thought she'd go to the store, then it's important enough to underline. Not underlining a direct thought means an interruption in flow. Even if the reader gets it because of tense, there's still a moment of questioning.

The rule of thumb is to work unimportant thoughts into the narrative, but underline the important ones.

So would you underline even when there's a thought tag? As in (for example):

I don't understand this, she thought. Underlining and italics confuse me.

dub · May 18, 2007

I guess I am old school...hammered into me for years - thoughts are shown in italics without a tag; with a tag, no italics.

I turned quickly and stepped on her toe damn, I bet that hurts.
I turned quickly and stepped on her toe. I thought, damn, I bet that hurts.

my opinion...ten bucks and my opinion will get you a Starbucks coffee.

Mel · May 18, 2007

If you go that way then "Oh damn" should be too, since that's part of the thought. Me, I'd put a comma after Oh.

Oh, damn, Nichola thought. I don't know how to indicate thoughts.

That said, I like dub's advice.

Underlining characters' thoughts...or not?

scarletpeaches

ErylRavenwell

Jamesaritchie

ErylRavenwell

Elodie-Caroline

scarletpeaches

dub

He ain't right...

Mel

Never be completely back to normal.