How would you write this story premise?

Novelist in Paradise · Apr 28, 2007

In church, the pastor gave a report of an inter-church pastors' conference, in which the pastors wrote on a piece of paper their personal handicaps (not physical) and tossed the pieces of paper in the garbage to symbol getting rid of it.

Being a writer, instead of being spiritually uplifted by this report, I was left wondering what if the janitor, in emptying that trash bin, read the slips of paper and went "hmmm..." ?

That's the premise. (It could be generalized to other kinds of meetings)

How would you write it?

I'd probably try a comedic approach--the fact that the janitor wouldn't know who wrote what would be key.

ChaosTitan · Apr 29, 2007

Novelist in Paradise said:
In church, the pastor gave a report of an inter-church pastors' conference, in which the pastors wrote on a piece of paper their personal handicaps (not physical) and tossed the pieces of paper in the garbage to symbol getting rid of it.

Being a writer, instead of being spiritually uplifted by this report, I was left wondering what if the janitor, in emptying that trash bin, read the slips of paper and went "hmmm..." ?

That's the premise. (It could be generalized to other kinds of meetings)

How would you write it?

Suspense, I think. I'd have the janitor find a slip of paper that admitted to having an affair with the janitor's wife (a nickname was used that only the janitor husband would know). So now the wronged janitor has to figure out which pastor slept with his wife and...do something about it. :e2brows:

DamaNegra · Apr 29, 2007

I'd go with suspense too. Maybe a confessed murder on the slip of paper or something, and now the janitor has a vital clue to solving a near-perfect crime. Or maybe a priest confesses to being a stalker to a girl that turns up dead some days after the janitor finds the note, and he now has to figure out what to do with the information he has, and how the hell he's going to find the guilty priest among the attendants.

veinglory · Apr 29, 2007

I would probably lean literary, a braided story line where severalpastors are given cause to really confront their issues and the janitor is used as a connecting thread.

Kristin Landon · Apr 29, 2007

All great! But it would make a good comedy, too, if the janitor knew who was at the meeting and decided to try to help them all somehow—while matching each of the problems with the wrong person.

In the end, of course, everyone is still wiser and better off as a result.

chartreuse · Apr 29, 2007

It could be a black comedy, too. Maybe the janitor has always felt that he's been condescended to, and when he reads the slips of paper finds out just what hypocrites all the pastors are, so he sets out to knock them down a few notches, using their weaknesses against them. But of course he's guessing what weaknesses belong to which pastor, and that's what would set up the funny parts.

MattDempsey · Apr 29, 2007

Horror - the things written are weaknesses. A la Dorian Grey the cabal have freed themselves from the things within themselves that hold them back.

The Janitor looks and the weaknesses escape into him. It is too much for him and he goes into shock. His recovery is slow but every now and then he gets flashes of something, a potential that has been unleashed within.

Really twee but accepting human frailities and the innate weakness of humanity somehow elevates him. God that really is twee.

infinitus_kaze · Apr 29, 2007

I wouldn't :e2writer:

How would you write this story premise?

Novelist in Paradise

Ah, the joys of dengue fever

ChaosTitan

Around

DamaNegra

Mexican on the loose!

veinglory

volitare nequeo

Kristin Landon

chartreuse

MattDempsey

infinitus_kaze

Brutally honest...to a fault