need some advice...

sunna · Apr 25, 2007

I got a request for the 1st 50 pages last night, from an e-query where I had pasted the 1st 5 pages in the body of the text. My dilemma is this: in between my sending the query and getting the response, I rewrote all of chapter 1. I still have the original, of course, but...I think the rewrite is better.
Can/should I mention (or even send) the redone 1st chapter? Or should I just send her the original and not say anything about it?

CaroGirl · Apr 25, 2007

First of all: Congratulations! How exciting!

My experience is limited, but, because the request was based on your original first 5 pages, I'd send the original first chapter. Keep the edit for later. If you sign with the agent you can present it at that time and see whether he/she likes it better. I'm sure someone with more experience will be along any time now.

Good luck!

swvaughn · Apr 25, 2007

Miss Snark recommends sending the revised version and explaining in the cover letter accompanying the partial that you've made some changes to the original work.

(Why yes, I do always quote Miss Snark.

)

Congrats on the partial request! A bit WOOT for you!

Button · Apr 25, 2007

How drastic is the revision? If you just changed a few words and it sounds better, but the plot is the same, you might not want to yet.

If it is drastic enough of a change, maybe you should, but remember, I am guessing that whatever was in those first five pages hooked your agent enough to request a partial. I wouldn't change it yet. If she signs you, then ask what she thought of it.

Sending in one revision is fine. Just say you fiddled with it. But keep in mind, agents expect you to be finished and that the book is the best yet. If you send in more than one, it may make her think you aren't done. Leave your story alone. This isn't the time to be messing with it if it is really finished. If an agent takes you on, there will be plenty to say about changes, and the agent will say them.

Gillhoughly · Apr 25, 2007

Hello!

I am your future editor and/or agent. (waves)

I want to see your BEST WORDS.

Send me the best version you have in those 50 pages.

Chances are great that I am not going to remember your original five pages, but only the note I made to myself to ask Writer X for a larger sample.

Good luck!

swvaughn · Apr 25, 2007

Gillhoughly said:
Hello!

I am your future editor and/or agent. (waves)

I want to see your BEST WORDS.

Send me the best version you have in those 50 pages.

Chances are great that I am not going to remember your original five pages, but only the note I made to myself to ask Writer X for a larger sample.

Good luck!

Yeah, what Gillhoughly (and Miss Snark) said.

sunna · Apr 25, 2007

ButtonTheCat said:
How drastic is the revision? If you just changed a few words and it sounds better, but the plot is the same, you might not want to yet.

It's not a very drastic change... I've gotten extrememly insecure about the first 3 chapters since I started submitting (go figure!) but I still feel good about the plot, so I'm leaving that alone. But the rewrite is - I think - tighter: same POV but in a slightly older-sounding voice, and includes some info the first version didn't. I also went from a wordy 3-paragraph "pan-in" effect to a very short limited-omni intro that becomes tight third-limited, which is the voice for the rest of the novel.
It feels better and cleaner to me...but I guess I'm afraid I'm not thinking clearly at this point.
I've had one agent tell me the the (original) beginning was slow, which is what got me started on this panic kick. But this agent has already read the parts I thought were the slowest, and she liked it. Augh!

:ounds forehead into keyboard::

Click to expand...

Stew21 · Apr 25, 2007

send your best. (and good luck! Keep us posted on the progress!)

sunna · Apr 25, 2007

Gillhoughly said:
Hello!

I am your future editor and/or agent. (waves)

I want to see your BEST WORDS.

Send me the best version you have in those 50 pages.

Chances are great that I am not going to remember your original five pages, but only the note I made to myself to ask Writer X for a larger sample.

Good luck!

Just got to this post...hard to keep up when you have to keep switching windows to avoid the boss.

Ok, here is my evil plan: I think I'll hunt down one of my original betas and ask for a comparison read, as thus far my husband is the only one who has read the revision, and he has to eat my cooking. Based on that I'll have some idea of which version is actually better, as I'm afraid my own opinion cannot be trusted right now.
What's the expected turnaround time when an agent requests a partial to be sent snail-mail? My panic reflex is saying why haven't you sent it yet? (I got the request last night), but that's just the only voice in my head at the moment.
Thanks so much, everyone, for your help - I can't even express how gald I am I found this place.

sunna · Apr 25, 2007

sunna7kore said:
Thanks so much, everyone, for your help - I can't even express how gald I am I found this place.

...or I perhaps I'm glad, with spellcheck...

DeadlyAccurate · Apr 25, 2007

What's the expected turnaround time when an agent requests a partial to be sent snail-mail? My panic reflex is saying why haven't you sent it yet? (I got the request last night), but that's just the only voice in my head at the moment.

Don't worry, you can hold off a few days without worry. I mean, you could've been out of town this week and didn't get the email until Sunday, right? And if the agent wanted it immediately, they wouldn't have requested snail mail anyway.

herdon · Apr 25, 2007

Generally speaking I think writing tends to get better with rewrites, not worse.

One concern would be editing. If you really did *completely* rewrite it -- has it been edited more than the previous passages? You might want to focus on trying to go over it a few times if you choose to send the new pages.

Gillhoughly · Apr 25, 2007

Stop obsessing and SEND IT already!

swvaughn · Apr 25, 2007

Gillhoughly, are you Miss Snark?

sunna · Apr 25, 2007

Hey...where did you get that picture of my aunts?

Sassee · Apr 25, 2007

LOL @ Gillhoughly!

He's right, just send it. Good luck to you!!!

Gillhoughly · Apr 25, 2007

swvaughn said:
Gillhoughly, are you Miss Snark?

No, but I did find out who she really is!

It's all HERE!

herdon · Apr 25, 2007

Heh, ending with House was great.

Though I will say it re-aggrivates the wound I suffered last night. For the second time this spring the end of the House episode was interupted for a weather bulletin where they repeated a tornado could be forming about twenty times in a row.

This might not be a problem, but my wife goes out with the girls on Tuesday nights and I don't have much better to do than watch House.

I was forced to go into the living room and kick tennis balls around for my puppy to chase.

Come to think of it, that was a bit more fun than television.

swvaughn · Apr 25, 2007

Gillhoughly said:
No, but I did find out who she really is!

It's all HERE!

Has Miss Snark seen that?

Gillhoughly · Apr 25, 2007

swvaughn said:
Has Miss Snark seen that?

I think so--she has the Joan Crawford pic up on her blog.

need some advice...

sunna

CaroGirl

Living the dream

swvaughn

adrift

Button

Resident in Question

Gillhoughly

Grumpy writer and editor

swvaughn

adrift

sunna

Stew21

sunna

sunna

DeadlyAccurate

Absolutely Fazed

herdon

What's up?

Gillhoughly

Grumpy writer and editor

swvaughn

adrift

sunna

Sassee

Momma Wolf

Gillhoughly

Grumpy writer and editor

herdon

What's up?

swvaughn

adrift

Gillhoughly

Grumpy writer and editor