Help, please

mmcutter · Apr 12, 2007

Hi, newbie here. I admit to having problems with my verbs when there is more than one action being performed in a single sentence. Which is correct, please?

"Never mind him," he growled, struggling to hold onto the rope.

or

"Never mind him," he growled, as he struggled to hold onto the rope.

ErylRavenwell · Apr 12, 2007

Both are.

a hold on, not a hold onto. Onto implies movement, as in the "The cat jumped onto the table". Struggling to maintain his hold on the rope.

One is a sentence with an apositif; the latter is two complete clauses, linked by a conjunction.

TheIT · Apr 12, 2007

Welcome to AW, mmcutter!

Both sound all right to me, too, but should the comma before "as" in the second example be removed?

ErylRavenwell · Apr 12, 2007

TheIT said:
Welcome to AW, mmcutter!

Both sound all right to me, too, but should the comma before "as" in the second example be removed?

Yes, you can do without.

maestrowork · Apr 12, 2007

Both are fine. The comma before "as" is not needed. Also, it's "hold on to" and not "hold onto."

ErylRavenwell · Apr 12, 2007

IMO, I think the comma is optional. "He growled" is actually an independent clause to which information is added. If there are two independent clauses, joined by a conjunction, and the first clause is short, then the comma is optional; otherwise the comma is compulsory.

mmcutter · Apr 13, 2007

Thanks, everyone, you have been a great help! I appreciate it!

Marge

Carrie in PA · Apr 14, 2007

I think they're both technically correct, but the first one sounds better to me. It feels more actiony.

Jamesaritchie · Apr 14, 2007

Comma

Keep the comma.

Help, please

mmcutter

ErylRavenwell

TheIT

Infuriatingly Theoretical

ErylRavenwell

maestrowork

Fear the Death Ray

ErylRavenwell

mmcutter

Carrie in PA

Write All The Words!

Jamesaritchie