Do you like anything you've done?

Nakhlasmoke · Apr 12, 2007

I know I can't be alone in this, but eventually I hate all my writing, and I don't seem to be able to work around this.

My current WiP is close to being completed, and I hate everything about it; it sickens me. It's broken and horrible and clichéd and smelly. It's also the fourth novel I've written, and I hoped I would start getting over this by now.

I'm crippling myself as a writer because I just can't face dealing with how awful the book is, and so I know I'm going to end up doing what I always do, which is just leaving it and starting a new book.

If you get like this, I'd love to know how you deal with it.

swvaughn · Apr 12, 2007

I feel your pain. Oh, yes.

I've found the best thing to do is finish it anyway, and then put it away and come back to it later. You'll probably find it's not as sucky as you think, and may even be (gasp) pretty good. Great novels aren't written, they're rewritten, yadda yadda.

Seriously, finish it. You'll like the end -- if only because you actually wrote the end. And then it's done, and you can say "I have written this novel! It may be crap (for now) but it's a novel!"

(I currently like my tenth novel. We'll see how long that lasts... LOL)

Marlys · Apr 12, 2007

No, I don't get like that now, but I remember when I sent my first draft of my first novel out to some family members to read, I wanted to go hide under my bed for a few months. If what you've got is a bad case of nerves, I can see how starting a new project would be less painful than getting the finished one out there.

The only cure is growing a thicker skin. You do it by getting people you trust to read your work and tell you what they like and what you could still work on. Then you climb out from under the bed and start putting their suggestions into practice, finding out what works for your story and what doesn't. And eventually, showing your stuff around doesn't hurt so much.

Honest.

Maprilynne · Apr 12, 2007

My book that got me an agent and is currently out on submission is utter crap. Really. I don't know what my agent was thinking even signing me much less sending it to professionals. Really, she's out of her mind!

Some days I have the opposite midset and think that maybe, just maybe one of these editors will like it and buy it (I mean, I have fairly good odds, right?) But these days I mostly just think my agent needs her head examined.

*Shrug* What can you do?

Maprilynne

Raphee · Apr 12, 2007

Oh i have these all the time.
I finished my first WIP. Got sick of it. edited, felt worse. And now I've trunked it. but not forever. I am determined that once my head clears up and I have distanced myself from the novel, I'll revisit it and fulfil what heeds to be done. there are no two ways about it.
In the meantime it has taken me two months to just cool down and now I am working on WIP No.2.

I think you might want to start work on one of the earlier novels that you wrote and finish one of them.

Elodie-Caroline · Apr 12, 2007

I love my writing when I'm doing it, I wouldn't bother doing it if I didn't. I also love the finished work. Maybe I'm just strange... or up myself? LOL

Elodie

MidnightMuse · Apr 12, 2007

I think with some older work, I did hate it and couldn't figure out why readers loved it as much as they did. But now it's not so much hating what I've done, but seeing how much I'm improving with each subsequent novel. I'm currently writing #11 and I can't help but believe I've grown and improved even since #10.

miles · Apr 12, 2007

I recently looked at the first two stories I sold a few years ago, and while there were a few things that made me cringe, they weren't as bad as I thought they'd be.

Whether that means I haven't drastically improved the last few years, or that I wasn't too bad back then either, I do not know.

Claudia Gray · Apr 12, 2007

I go through periods of loathing nearly all my writing, but I also go through periods of liking it, too, and thank goodness. What's the most fun is to reread something from a few years ago, which is distant enough for me to react to differently -- sometimes I cringe, but sometimes it's delightful.

Nakhlasmoke · Apr 12, 2007

Hmm, thanks for all the responses

. I know I need to offer it up for evisceration, but there's a part of me that's truly terrified of being told that I'm wasting my time, and I should go do something useful. Even though I can see the improvement in my work over time.

The ending is written, it's the broken parts that are giving me trouble, and sending me into this "why bother with this piece of week-old tripe anyway" self-loathing thing. Ergh, why can't writing be easy, dammit? I guess everyone would be doing it then. Oh. hang on...

Whew, 'K, rant over. BIC it is until this little fish is grilled. *grin*

JPLangsdorf · Apr 12, 2007

Usually, I'm quite happy with my writing. Sure, my initial read-throughs make me cringe and hurriedly edit, but I'm basically happy with my writing. Especially my dialogue.

That said, my current WIP is driving me absolutely insane. I usually have pangs of doubt while I'm writing, suspicions that my ideas are lame, but I work through them. However, with this project, I get about 3-4 chapters into and think 'This plot is pathetic', and restart. I've done this about 4 times. I love the setting, love the characters, but I can't seem to get the plot right.

So in that sense, yes, I am currently disgusted with my writing.

T Knight · Apr 12, 2007

I used to be intensly embarresed that I even considered bieng a writer, and noone would be allowed to see my work.

I had a whole brief case of half started stuff and things I was currently working on and one of the fun games for my friends was to try and see what was inside it.

I eventually decided though that if I was to grow as a writer then I needed to take my work seriously and handle embaresment and rejections. So therefore I now happily show people and tell them if they don't like it then stfu or tell me in a nice way why or how it can be improved.

Writing for me is a form of expression and a way to show people that your creative, and full of interesting thoughts.

I look back on my early stuff and laugh mostly. The only thing I thought was good was the only novel I ever completed so its worth completing just for the accomplishment.

Jamesaritchie · Apr 12, 2007

Love/hate

I love some of the things I've written, even years later. I hate other things I've written. And some of the things I love the most have never been published, while some of the things I hate most have been published and re-published.

I reached the conclusion long ago that it doesn't matter a damn what I think of my writing because the opinion of others will often differ drastically. So as long as I'm doing the best I can at the moment, with the particularly story I'm working on at the time, I send it out and let agents and editors and readers judge for themselves. My opinion doesn't matter.

David I · Apr 12, 2007

Jamesaritchie said:
II reached the conclusion long ago that it doesn't matter a damn what I think of my writing because the opinion of others will often differ drastically. So as long as I'm doing the best I can at the moment, with the particularly story I'm working on at the time, I send it out and let agents and editors and readers judge for themselves. My opinion doesn't matter.

Bravo, JAR!

When you're still grappling with the work is a bad time to evaluate it anyway. Finish it and let it sit for a while. Possibly a very long while.

------------

I’ve realized that my subjective opinion of whether something is good while I’m doing it is worthless. So when I start, I finish.
—Michael Crichton

CaroGirl · Apr 12, 2007

This is a double-edged question for me. When I read a story I've written, I think parts of it are kind of crappy, but in everything I find at least one small gem that makes me think, "That's pretty good. How the heck did I come up with that?" Even if the overall story doesn't work or I don't like it.

ccarver30 · Apr 12, 2007

I hated the beginning of my first book, so guess what? I recently changed it.
My second book though, I am loving!
If I hated what I wrote I would not write.

DeadlyAccurate · Apr 12, 2007

Maprilynne said:
But these days I mostly just think my agent needs her head examined.

Me, too! I keep thinking, "Are she and I the only two who will ever love my books?" (Yes, I think in grammatically correct sentences. Doesn't everyone?) She loves my main character as much as I do, but I fear editors are going to think she (my MC, not my agent) is too profane, violent, and amoral to ever want to buy the book. Sure, she's funny, but she's also unapologetically bad.

To answer the OP, yes, I love a lot of my writing. Usually once I've edited the hell out of it, though. The dawning realization that the story actually does make sense, and finding out the cool scene I put in there serves a purpose and doesn't have to be ripped out after all remind me that I actually can write. But when I'm working on my first drafts, I'm filled with a lot of doubts when I see how bad they are. I do not write clean first drafts of large works by any stretch of the imagination.

FredCharles · Apr 12, 2007

I like a lot of the stuff that I write. Just the fact that I can complete something from beginning to end is an accomplishment.

As writers, I don't that we give ourselves enough credit! It take so much work to even finish a short story. Don't be so hard on yourself.

To the original poster: I'm sorry to hear that you hate all of your work. Maybe you should let some one read it. You might be surprised by their reaction. It's probably not even half as bad as you think it is...it might actually be damned good. Don't be so hard on yourself. If you hate your writing, then maybe you should take a look at what you hate about it, and try to change it. Either way, four novels is a great accomplishment!

NeuroFizz · Apr 12, 2007

I must be from some other world because I don't hate any of the stories I've written. I do have negative feelings about each of them from time to time, but they usually surface because I'm sick of having to go through each one yet another time to tweak it, work it through the editing process, or check page proofs. Also, I have the same self-doubts as Maprilynne when a manuscript goes out for evaluation by professionals, but those feelings don't come out like she has expressed. Mostly, I go back and forth thinking that the story isn't good enough, then feeling it is, then back again. If it results in a contract, I consider it well-earned through my hard work. But then I cringe again at the thought of going through it a couple more times in the editing/page proof process.

I do have my favorite stories, and I think I can see improvement in the technical aspects of my work from the first novel on. But I don't hate a single one of them. I'm proud of them because they represent a significant, earned achievement.

While in the process of writing, I hit little blind alleys like everyone else, but I see that as a challenge to let my mind freewheel about it for a while. This usually opens a door that leads back to a thoroughfare.

herdon · Apr 12, 2007

I hate some of the stuff I've done -- or, more accurate, I get frustrated with some of the stuff I've done because I know it could be better but I'm not sure how to make it better. I've also become frustrated during first drafts for similar reasons.

There are also projects that I love and think are great and I get excited when I think of something that will make them better.

If I hated everything or became frustrated with everything I don't think I could continue writing. That's hard working on those projects.

jchines · Apr 12, 2007

With every book I've done in the past 4 or 5 years, there comes a point where I despise it. Usually it's when I'm about halfway through, give or take. I go through the whole mess of thinking it's the worst thing I've ever done, and I've lost any skill I might have had, and my readers are going to string me up, and my agent will fire me, and then my editor will come to my house and mock me in front of my wife and children.

It sucks, but the key for me is to keep going anyway. Once I finish, the book magically becomes a bit less awful. The revision process lessens the awfulness even more. Eventually, I start to think this thing might actually be ... dare I say it ... good!

From talking to other writers, it seems pretty normal to go through a phase where you can't stand whatever it is you're working on. I've noticed that when I get to that point, I'm pretty much the worst judge of my own stuff. It's possible that the book really does suck, but it could also be brilliant and I'd feel the same way. I don't have the distance to judge, so I end up having to just trust myself and keep going, which can be awfully hard to do.

Good luck. It's not fun, but you're not alone.

Jamesaritchie · Apr 12, 2007

Hate

ccarver30 said:
I hated the beginning of my first book, so guess what? I recently changed it.
My second book though, I am loving!
If I hated what I wrote I would not write.

How do you know whether you'll hate it until after you've written it? I suspect liking everything you write is at least as big a problem as disliking everything you write.

Nakhlasmoke · Apr 12, 2007

Sorry, I should have clarified this a bit - the hating everything I do is a stage I reach, normally towards the end of the work.

I love writing, and I do think I've written some good stuff (and so apparently have other people, because I'll have a few short stories appearing in print this year) but there always comes a point where I'm totally unable to be objective about the work I'm doing, and that's where it all goes downhill.

I gather from reading the responses to this thread that I'm far from alone in this, which does make me feel a little bit less like an idiot. I think, as a few posters have pointed out, that may be the signal to step away for a bit, and return to it with a fresh eye at a later stage, and preferably after the betas have hacked it for a bit. I guess I'll grind out the last few scenes that are giving me trouble, and then send it out to some readers for feedback.

And while I'm waiting for that feedback, you'll find me in the corner, working on my zombie romance.

NeuroFizz · Apr 12, 2007

Jamesaritchie said:
How do you know whether you'll hate it until after you've written it? I suspect liking everything you write is at least as big a problem as disliking everything you write.

I agree with the first part, but I think the last sentence is a gross generalization. One doesn't have to dislike his/her work in any way to hold it to high personal standards and craft it with a critical eye. It all depends upon the individual, that individual's skill level, that person's immediate and long-range goals, and the plan set out to achieve those goals.

Mr. Funktastic · Apr 12, 2007

I like most of what I write, but I still understand that it all needs revision. If I didn't like it, I couldn't write it.

Do you like anything you've done?

yes

adrift

Resist. Love. Go outside.

Author Waiting in the Wings

In debt to AW

Midnight Reading

agent at The Knight Agency

yes

Living the dream

Nicole Castro

Absolutely Fazed

The grad students did it

What's up?

Got the hang of it, here

yes

The grad students did it

The name says it all.