Write Tight!

Sohia Rose · Apr 2, 2007

I’m editing the sixth draft of my manuscript (memoir) for flow and tone (and of course a little tinkering). But it’s so pared down and tight (you know, “write tight!”) that there is almost no soul left in it, as if a robot had written it. That’s exactly what I didn’t want because I wanted it to be very conversational.

I’ve decided to go back to the fifth draft, which is a little looser. When do you know enough is enough? After how many drafts do you leave the damn thing alone? When do you say to yourself, ‘This is who I am, and this is how I want to come across to my potential readers.’

I’m on vacation for a week and I’m also organizing the first draft of my new (how-to) book, which will be (hopefully) conversational in tone with some humor.

PeeDee · Apr 2, 2007

I'm a lousy one to answer this, in that I don't do enough drafts of anything to get mechanical about it. I cut redundant paragraphs, words, sentences, and then I just leave it at that. I assume that the ME who wrote the story probably (and usually does) know better than the ME who is trying to edit it. One has instinct and experience, the other is trying to edit in the cool aftermath. I go with the first over the second any day.

Jamesaritchie · Apr 2, 2007

Tight

In a way, I think tight or loose are artificial boundaries. "How does it sound" is the question I ask. Do I like the way it reads? Do I like the way it flows?

To answer these "yes," I sometimes have to tighten, and I sometimes have to loosen.

CheshireCat · Apr 2, 2007

PeeDee said:
I'm a lousy one to answer this, in that I don't do enough drafts of anything to get mechanical about it. I cut redundant paragraphs, words, sentences, and then I just leave it at that. I assume that the ME who wrote the story probably (and usually does) know better than the ME who is trying to edit it. One has instinct and experience, the other is trying to edit in the cool aftermath. I go with the first over the second any day.

What PD said works for me.

You can tinker endlessly, any writer can. But at some point, you have to let it go, let it be what it is -- and move on.

IMVHO

:Shrug:

Rich · Apr 2, 2007

I write tight. Sometimes I wish I didn't, but it's the only way I know how. I'm planning a novel right now, and God knows how many words I'll eventually produce.

Sohia Rose · Apr 2, 2007

Rich said:
I write tight. Sometimes I wish I didn't, but it's the only way I know how. I'm planning a novel right now, and God knows how many words I'll eventually produce.

When I edit, I feel like my English professor is over my shoulder: "You know that's a fragment, don't you?"; "How dare you try to trump up a one-word sentence."; "Ummm, you have too many conjunctions on this page, missy!"; "Comma splice!"

Sheesh!

rugcat · Apr 2, 2007

Jamesaritchie said:
In a way, I think tight or loose are artificial boundaries. "How does it sound" is the question I ask. Do I like the way it reads? Do I like the way it flows?

To answer these "yes," I sometimes have to tighten, and I sometimes have to loosen.

I think James is quite correct. We all know the famous and valuable advice from Elements of Style: "Omit needless words."

The art is in knowing which ones are needless.

Azure Skye · Apr 2, 2007

I told myself the last edit would be the final edit for a long time. Nope. I still see areas that need tightened and beautified. But I do agree that sooner or later you just have to stop and let it be.

Calla Lily · Apr 2, 2007

Sohia Rose said:
When I edit, I feel like my English professor is over my shoulder: "You know that's a fragment, don't you?"; "How dare you try to trump up a one-word sentence."; "Ummm, you have too many conjunctions on this page, missy!"; "Comma splice!"

Pity me--I *am* a former English teacher!

But, since I've always been a rebel, I only cringe at sentence fragments (for example) when I use too many.

Don't ask me how often I flog myself when I feel I *must* use an adverb, though...

ChaosTitan · Apr 2, 2007

Bring on the fragments!

I love 'em. I use 'em. Hell, the last three novels I've read had them splattered all over the text.

Sohia Rose · Apr 2, 2007

chaostitan said:
Bring on the fragments!

I love 'em. I use 'em. Hell, the last three novels I've read had them splattered all over the text.

You know, sometimes it's just necessary. Sometimes I don't want to say it in one sentence. Sometimes I want to use complex sentences with two-to-three complete thoughts. I'm just complicated that way.

Thing is, I fixed most of these things and it's just so, so, clean and clinical. Like hospital food.

ChaosTitan · Apr 2, 2007

Can you go back to earlier drafts, where the voice was more compelling? Put the spice back into the sauce?

Sohia Rose · Apr 2, 2007

chaostitan said:
Can you go back to earlier drafts, where the voice was more compelling? Put the spice back into the sauce?

Yep. That's what I'm doing now. After that, I think it's time to leave it alone.

scarletpeaches · Apr 3, 2007

I think I speak for all of us - well, PeeDee - when I say "Eschew surplusage without obfuscation!"

My first drafts are quite baggy - even though they're short. I don't stop to correct grammar or continuity errors and huge swathes of the story are dealt with in a paragraph or two if I'm near my 50k first draft target.

On the second draft I tighten it right up. Like pulling on a corset and doing up the stays, getting everything in place.

Maryn · Apr 3, 2007

Sohia Rose said:
When I edit, I feel like my English professor is over my shoulder: "You know that's a fragment, don't you?"; "How dare you try to trump up a one-word sentence."; "Ummm, you have too many conjunctions on this page, missy!"; "Comma splice!"

Sheesh!

I agree--about eliminating comma splices, which IMHO have no place in this world. The rest is strictly stylistic when done purposefully, so tell your mental professor to shut the hell up. You can tell him I said so, too.

Maryn, unafraid of academics

Write Tight!

Sohia Rose

Will write for coffee

PeeDee

Where's my tea, please...?

Jamesaritchie

CheshireCat

Mostly purring. Mostly.

Rich

Sohia Rose

Will write for coffee

rugcat

Lost in the Fog

Azure Skye

Huh?

Calla Lily

On hiatus

ChaosTitan

Around

Sohia Rose

Will write for coffee

ChaosTitan

Around

Sohia Rose

Will write for coffee

scarletpeaches

Maryn

I Tried