What do you call him?

This isn't a romance specific question but I reckoned romance writers would probably be the most inventive!

I'm struggling, over and over again, in terms of how to refer to the person that I live with and sleep with.

I'd like a single term that I can use for various different contexts -- whether the crowd is hip or considered a bit fuddy-duddy. I'm not bothered about gender-clarity (I'm female, he's male, I don't care if that's obvious or not) but I don't want to sound like we're married (we aren't) or end up sounding like I'm in the middle of an epiphany rlather than a relationship.

Things I've considered and dismissed:
* Husband - outright lie, I have no intentions of ever getting married again and I don't like the idea of conforming to other peoples views of what I should do
* Boyfriend - I have ended up settling for this but it makes me feel about 16. He's not a boy but I concede Manfriend is much much worse.

* Partner - sounds like a work relationship and in some contexts actually could cause confusion. I have ended up settling for this when there's enough other information to make it clear that I don't mean work, but it's shakey.
* Lover - TMI. I feel like I want to be sure that EVERYONE KNOWS WE ARE HAVING SEX! I dunno, maybe it's just me but if I'm describing an argument we just had regarding World War 2, somehow "lover" just doesn't cut it.
* The man that I sleep with - implies we aren't living together and is just stupidly long and unwieldy.
* Co-Pilot of my Life - The one benefit of this one is that when he saw I'd written it, he snorted coffee out of his nose. It's ok for Chicken Soup for the Unmarried Woman, but not really sensible for daily usage.

So, thing is, I have a magazine article to write, the man and his ability to speak French actually matters for the article, the target audience is American Male 30+ white collar, and I can't quite work out how to introduce my guy into the mix.

Any bright ideas? What do you call romantic partners -- in real life and in your work?

* Sylvia *

Scarletpeaches: I'm glad it's not just me!

I do use SO in context, where the acronym doesn't need explaining, as it's a handy tag.

So I could easily refer to my partner as SO here in the forums (hee hee -- did you see me default to partner without even thinking?!) but written out as Significant Other -- I dunno, just ugh. He's significant to me, and he's other than me, but still.

I'm not crazy about life partner because, well, who knows? Maybe he might not be -- ask me again on my deathbed.

I notice you're Scots, the US reaction to "partner" seems pretty extreme. Now I don't mind if someone thinks I'm a lesbian, but when I'm pitching a piece to a US male-dominated readership, I'd prefer them not to stall and think "oooer, she wants me to know she sleeps with women!" in the middle of things.

DecemberQuinn:
"live-in boyfriend" feels a bit forced too -- I think in that case it'd be easier to just say boyfriend and be done with it. I'm actually leaning towards that as a solution, to be honest.

I certainly do understand why it would annoy you when people don't use the appropriate title, when there is one. It's just in this case, I don't have a one.

The scene is in the cockpit of the plane. A simple word setting out the relationship makes it a little bit easier to understand why he is there at all and why I am comparing my ability to his. With no reference at all, the assumption would probably be that he is a flight instructor. So no, I don't need to mention the relationship but I feel a simple reference to it would make things a bit easier.

IrishScribbler: that's a grand idea! It sort of fits in with Maprilynne's suggestion of "paramour" and Screenmom's "mon petit ami". Definitely worth thinking more about although for the sake of this particularly article, I should probably avoid French.

I was once described by someone else as "compañera simpatica" which I absolutely adored! But it's probably a bit bizarre without a back reference.

Chumplet: I suspect Roomy is like Partner in terms of wrought with cultural expectations? To me, "Roomy" signifies an absolutely platonic live-in relationship but I guess that's not what you hear?

Chatty: mate, lovemate, consort are quite good. I'm making a list on my notepad now of my favourites so I can try them all in situ.

Better half gives me an immediate image of a cheesy man condescending to his stay-at-home wife -- isn't that terrible? I never realised I had that negative imagery until now. I wonder who it was that put me off that phrase.

Liladubois: "Every time he said it in class all the girls sighed a little, but the boys sneared, so perhaps it is not right for your market."

Haha, I sighed and smiled, I read it aloud: the-guy-without-a-title rolled his eyes and went back to what he was doing. So maybe Beloved isn't quite right -- I'll remember it for female oriented articles though!

Screenmom's "my best friend", Sanremoave's "my love" and Carmy's "companion" are on my shortlist too.

I specifically don't want to use fiance nor husband - I'm not getting married.

It sounds like most people are happy with boyfriend so maybe I'm being a bit edgy about it.

I'm off to think a bit and will post again soon -- I just didn't want to let all these great answers go without a response.

Wanted to do a quick update:

For the article in question, I thought about what it was about the relationship that needed to be known and came to the conclusion, "very little. Simply that there is one." So for the article, I used "companion" which fit the bill without distracting from the actual story.

I have a list now of my favourites, so that when it comes up again, I can go through the list and find something quickly and carry on with the piece. It really does not need to be a one-size-fits-all term, which I don't think I'd realised at the start of this.

Thanks for all the great ideas!