Ladies, I need your help

See what I can go up with..
wish
--He realized I like sleeping in his threadbare tshirts and quit buying me Vicky Secret clothes.
-- that I hate grocery shopping
--that its ok, I'll eat his pb&j sandwiches rather than cook
-- that I like asking for directions, and it okay to ask for directions while lost, almost on empty and you are just getting ready to pass the last gas station for 50 miles and I need to pee.
--that its sexy to change the cat litter pan
--that I can not reach the freakn' 10 ft ceiling to change the lightbulb
-- that if he keeps his hunting hobby going for more than 3 mo. a year I will continually overdose his hunting clothes with loud detergents and flowery fabric sheets
-- that I love to dance...and I don't think his dance moves are stupid...well he could use a few lessons.
---that if he continues to build me snoman familys in my front yard I will be creative with mine and give the mamma sno woman size 38 D boobs
---that I really really don't care what my neighbors think
There..

Well, this looks like fun but I'm not convinced that reading such things will have any effect at all on the guys. In my experience, they are pretty much immune to invaluable insights such as these. In guy-speak, I think it's called nagging.

I narrowed the list a lot to keep it to ten.

I wish my DH realized that I really do need all my shoes and that having more than two pair does not qualify me for the Imelda Marcos Hall of Fame.

Same goes for my handbags.

I wish he realized that reading books, posts, news articles, blogs, poetry or literary criticism is not a frivolous waste of time.

I wish he realized the same thing about writing stories, outlines, books, screenplays, or even really bad poetry.

I wish he knew that when I'm reading, I'm not emotionally, spiritually or physically available for conversation about engine displacement.

I wish he realized that standing in the middle of room asking rhetorical questions to anyone who happens by is just plain weird.

I wish he knew that he speaks the very same language that we taught the children. If he wants them to do something or stop doing something, he need not come to me to translate his message to them.

I wish he understood that I love to snuggle after lovemaking (like we have time for that, ha), but I hate being touched while I'm sleeping. I'm not a spooner, never was, never will be.

I wish he got that I am not the keeper of small, crumpled up corners of papers that bear indispensible phone numbers.

I wish he realized that asking me to do something or get something or find something while I'm talking on the phone, dealing with a screaming child, or sleeping does not mean that one word of the request registered and that my lack of response to the request does not indicate that I'm mad at him or attempting to piss him off.

If you don't like those, I got lots more.

Hmmm

1. ditto on the don't touch me when I'm sleeping. I don't want to spoon next to Mr. 100 degrees of body heat.

2. I'm not the only one who can get up with a sick kid during the night

3. Pajamas are sexier than tighty whiteys.

4. I don't always need that much foreplay. Sometimes I just want the quickie.

5. I love dancing with him. Yes, I know that he's a no-rhythm white boy, but I like it anyway. I don't care that people stare

6. There is no underwear fairy. I throw away the old ones and replace them with new ones. It isn't magic. It would be nice if he would dispose of the holey undies and socks himself.

7. Yes, I need four pairs of black shoes. Boots, open-toed pumps, close toed-pumps, and flat sandals are very different.

8. I hate going to his work functions. I don't make him go to mine. I don't think his co-workers would care one way or another if I went to his.

That should start you out.

Lets see I wish my husband:

Put me on the hands off while sleeping list. (glad to know I’m not the only one!) I can’t stand his breathing down my neck while I’m trying to sleep, not to mention the snoring.

Realized I get sick some times too. When I do I need some help and telling me you don’t need to eat is not helping. Cooking with out being told to even just grilled cheese is a big help.

Would just hold me when I get upset, that’s it. He doesn’t need to figure out how to fix everything.

knew how to use a phone book and the telephone, especially when he is the one with the information not me. It’s a real pain and embarrassing to have to say hang on let me ask my husband when I am the one who called.

Knew how irritating it is when I’m talking to some one on the phone and he constantly interrupts with his dumb jokes he wants me to relay to the person.


Realized when a my office door is shut its to keep everyone out, not just everyone but him.

Realized there is life after children. We raised 4 great kids who are now happy well adjusted productive adults. (one is 17 but that’s close enough) we are still young its time for US.

Worrying too much about the future ruins the present.

Antique shops really do call my name and I MUST stop in every one.

knew how much I want to have one hour at home with him awake with out that @%&% work 2 way radio going off. Its worse than a cell phone. At least with a phone all I hear is the ringing and his end of the conversation. With the radio its “hey I need some one here to get that elevator shaft fixed.”
It would be so nice to toss that thing in the bay. Then he would have to stop working for a while.

How's that for a few? I can come up with more if you need

Soccer Mom said:

2. I'm not the only one who can get up with a sick kid during the night

Click to expand...

Ohh. I like this one. Tack it on my list too, please.

I wish:

1. he would stop leaving his dirty socks on the floor where he takes them off;

2. he would understand that just because I want to have a kiss and a cuddle, doesn't mean I want to have sex;

3. he would stop interrupting me;

4. just once he would arrive home from work without his mobile phone attached to his ear;

5. he would pull the shower curtain back across after his shower so that it doesn't dry scrunched up and go mouldy;

6. he would start sitting with the kids at night as they go off to sleep instead of me having to do it every single night;

7. he would spend more time with the family than in front of his computer watching downloaded episodes of "Lost";

8. he would really listen;

9. he would understand that a messy house really does make me depressed;

10. he would toss and turn in bed a lot less!

Oh, and one more thing:

I wish he would stop walking past the toilet to go outside and have a wee! Why can't he just do it inside like I do?

Mandy-Jane said:

Oh, and one more thing:

I wish he would stop walking past the toilet to go outside and have a wee! Why can't he just do it inside like I do?

Click to expand...

What a remarkable statement. You must live in the country.

When I was a small child my great-grandfather would walk out the screen door, turn and walk to the end of the long porch, and pee off the side.

My grandfather did the same.

Even after working in the fields, he was more likely to pee off the porch then to have peed in the field.

Now, years later, I live in a house in the woods, and I too pee off the back porch.

I wonder why that is? Your description make me think it's more common than I realized.

Well, I'm divorced now but these are just a few things that come to mind:

I don't mind if you watch sports, I'll even sit in the same room but don't interrupt my reading to make me watch a replay. I don't care.

The bills do not get paid on their own.

Nor do the dishes or the laundry. Ditto the toilet cleaning itself.

Just because you have checks in the checkbook does not mean we have money in the account.

Do not wake me up to tell me you're going to get a haircut. Chances are, I won't even have noticed you left. (remember, I work nights...he didn't)

I know you hear the baby crying...quit pretending you don't.

I don't mind if you fish and hunt, but let me have outside interests too.

Okay, that's only 7 but that's all I can think of off-hand. Maybe I'll come up with some more later!

johnrobison said:

What a remarkable statement. You must live in the country.

I wonder why that is? Your description make me think it's more common than I realized.

Click to expand...

Yes we do live in the country. Our ensuite has a door that leads outside, so off he goes, walking straight past the toilet. Very strange I say.

I think it is fairly common too, at least among the men I know.

My relationship with my husband goes way back to freshman year of high school, and we were just good friends until we were in junior year of college. Then love/lust/whatever set in. I think that initial friendship helped a lot. And we had some counseling through our married years (yup, we did need it!).

But what I wish:
That he'd truly listen to me, not just hear me.
That he'd realize that I really do know more than his mother.
That he'd get our sons to do more cleaning (dishes, laundry, their bathroom) around here, rather than me pestering them.

Other than that, we've worked quite a few things out over the years. Some things are just hard to change.

- Holes in socks are not a good thing. It doesn't mean that they are 'breathable'. It means they need to be tossed.

- The shower is not a self-cleaning toliet.

- I really don't want to be invited to share in your various smells. I know that it's the thought that counts, but if you say, 'Ooh! This stinks! Come smell this,' you shouldn't take it personally if I decline.

- If you go to the kitchen to get a drink, bring me one too. Or I may just take yours.

- You can hold the baby. He won't bite. Well, maybe he will, but not hard.

- No, it wouldn't be easier for me to take both children to the grocery store rather than leaving them at home with you. You give that adventure a try sometime and then try convincing me of that again.

kristie911 said:

I don't mind if you watch sports, I'll even sit in the same room but don't interrupt my reading to make me watch a replay. I don't care.


I know you hear the baby crying...quit pretending you don't.

Click to expand...

Good ones!

Mandy-Jane said:

Oh, and one more thing:

I wish he would stop walking past the toilet to go outside and have a wee! Why can't he just do it inside like I do?

Click to expand...

Just marking some territory, that's all.

Oh goody. Anonymous gripe session!

1. I wish he would stop flipping channels every time a commercial comes on. If he's looking for something to watch, then fine. But if he's watching a show or a movie, why flip? Looking for something better? Can't you just be happy with what you choose to begin with? Can you realize what this says to me?

2. There's a coat closet five feet from the dining room chair where you tend to lay your coat. Use the closet, please. You're setting an example for the children.

3. Again with the kids: Would you stop announcing rules and then leaving for work, leaving me to enforce a rule that I don't agree with?

4. A card is not an appropriate Valentines Day gift. A card should be attached to something.

5. If you want me to navigate, don't give me two different sets of directions and then yell at me when we get lost because I used the wrong one.

6. When you change jobs so you can have more time at home, and then get home early, only to spend the extra time at home doing work, what's the difference?

7. With the peeing: don't teach a potty-training child to pee outside. It confuses them, and teaches that the world is their toilet. And that drain in the basement? Let me tell you, there's a reason why a toilet flushes instead of just being a hole.

8. No, I don't inventory your contact lens solution or deodorant. I won't know if you're out. You have to tell me. Or better yet, pick them up yourself. Don't forget razor blades while you're at the drugstore.

9. I am a wife, not a personal assitant.

10. If you didn't want to be married to a smoker, you shouldn't have asked one to marry you. Duh.

If you go to the kitchen to get a drink, bring me one too. Or I may just take yours.

Click to expand...

Oh, yes, I hear you!
Yes, yes!

Mandy-Jane said:

I wish:
...10. he would toss and turn in bed a lot less!

Click to expand...

Next time you're due for a new mattress, you're in for a treat. I'm the tosser-and-turner, big-time, and our present mattress isolates my motions almost completely. I have to practically jump on the bed for him to rouse. It cost more, but for a good night's sleep, we figure it's money well spent.

Now back to the thread, eh?

Maryn, wishing everyone a good night's sleep

It's Monday. I got more...

If you insist that I drive, I insist that you shut up about my driving.

Yelling at a crying child will not induce that child to stop crying. Ever.

A child refusing to eat their vegetables is not a sign of disrespect for the parent, it's an immutable law of childhood.

The pronoun "we" is not interchangeable with the pronoun "you", for example, the question "Did we send a birthday card to my mother?" is fundamentally different from the more accurate "Did you send a birthday card to my mother?" Yes, we/I did, just like we/I always do.

Ten things I wish my husband knew about me? You mean BEFORE he married me or now that we're married?

BEFORE:
1. I don't like being criticized. (I am hyper-sensitive)
2. I'm not the neatest person in the world.
3. I dislike cooking and cleaning.
4. I like going out and having fun and not always staying home.

NOW:
5. I can read his mind very easily!
6. I know what he's gonna say before he says it.
7. If he starts telling me what happened in a ball game I will immediately start tuning him out or only hear pieces of it. Likewise, when he starts quoting statistics or talking about players and their problems.
8. I'd rather go out to dinner than stay home(even if it's meant to be a romantic dinner) because a)I'm almost always home and like a nice change of scenery and b)I like a nice change of scenery(restaurant's nice atmosphere).
9. Watching him clip his toenails in the living room is NOT a turn-on.
10. Just because I notice attractive men doesn't mean I don't find him attractive.

Being a writer, you'd think I'd know how to effectively communicate these things to my husband, but I hope he understands...

1. how much it meant to me that he gave our 14 yr. old daughter flowers for Valentine's Day, too

2. how much I appreciate his supporting my decision to not work full-time

3. that when he grills out, the way he smells when he comes back in is better than any men's cologne out there

4. that even though I came down with a bad case of altitude sickness on our honeymoon, I have ultimately romantic memories because of the way he took care of me

5. that I think his curly gray hair and smile lines are sexy

6. the depth of my admiration for him for sticking by me when I was depressed 7 years ago

7. my appreciation for his enthusiastic support as I've pursued a variety of part-time ventures over the years (even when they cluttered up the garage with 'antiques' for him to refinish, or involved travel to writers' conferences, etc.)

8. how thankful I am that he demonstrates to our 18-yr. old son that it's not unmanly to do laundry, cook dinner, or clean up the dirty dishes

9. how much it means to me when he's had to stand up for me with the kids or with his mother

10. how much I love him

I wish my husband would

1. Know that I like to hear him snoring. Life would be lonely and sad if I could not hear him breathing at night.

2. Remember that he is not alone and doesn't have to be responsible for *everything*

3. Know how much I look forward to another 30 years with him...

Those are sweet.

And I do love my husband, but not the snoring. These aren't gentle, sound-of-the-ocean snores. These are rattle the windows and frighten-small-animals snores.

My husband is a paragon of virtue.

Oh wait. I just threw up a little in my mouth. What I meant to say was:

- Don't ask me where you left a tiny piece of scrap paper with a phone number on it two weeks ago then yell at me because I felt the overwhelming need to clean my kitchen.

- Thank you for rinsing the dishes, now move your body 4" to the right and PUT THEM IN.

- Asking me to scratch whatever freakish thing is itching you at the moment is not foreplay.

- When I said, "gee, that baby is cute!", it wasn't a sign that I was ready for more so stop waving your weenie at me.

- Stop waving your weenie at me. Just had to mention that one again.

- I will continue my fascination with handbags as long as you are alive. Get over it.

- I don't think farting is funny so don't trap me under the covers when you feel the call of nature.

- Breastfeeding is not a "get out of parenting free" pass.

- Stop shaving your head and asking me in public if I want to rub it. Ew.

Mandy-Jane said:

I wish:


2. he would understand that just because I want to have a kiss and a cuddle, doesn't mean I want to have sex;

7. he would spend more time with the family than in front of his computer watching downloaded episodes of "Lost";

9. he would understand that a messy house really does make me depressed;

Click to expand...

I have those problems too! Only its not episodesof lost on the computer, its various games on the Playstation. He loves the playstaion. But he really doens't get the messy house REALLY bothers me.

-I wish he would realize that I hate calling people to tell them a bill is going to be late. Since its his fault, I think he should call.

-I wish he would realize that 'watching the baby' does not mean letting her walk around the house checking on her every time I ask, "Where's the baby?"

-I wish he would actully do the things he volunteers to do around the house when he volunteers to do them. Not spaced over weeks or months.

-That when I great retial people by the name thats on thier nametag I'm just trying to be nice and not messing with them. I like to be called by my name and not 'hey you'. I assume most other people like to be called by their name as well.