Querying, withdrawing, and making a graceful exit

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Solatium

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I'd like advice on handling three submissions that have been out for (it seems to me) rather a long time.

Two of them are fairly straightforward. I'd like to ask about them, rather than just withdraw them. I've been waiting on both pieces about eight months; I assume that's long enough that a polite query letter wouldn't be taken amiss. So how might I phrase such a letter?

The third is a more awkward situation, and I probably mishandled it from the beginning. What I want now is to get out without any violation of etiquette or ethics.

I got the magazine's address secondhand. I had tried joining their e-mail newsletter, subscribers to which would supposedly receive a copy of their full guidelines, but I never got any e-mail from them.

After I submitted my story, I picked up a few issues of the magazine, and discovered my story might not be as appropriate for them as I had hoped. Consequently, if I take any action, it will probably be to withdraw the story.

I have the current address from a recent issue; it is the same address to which I sent my submission, so, barring a problem with the mails, I assume they received it. Would it be acceptable to send a three-part letter 1) withdrawing my submission, 2) requesting their full guidelines, and 3) alerting them to a possible problem with their newsletter mailing list?

They're not listed in Duotrope (because the guidelines aren't right on their website), but according to the Black Hole, their average response time is about 160 days, and the most recent reported response was a year ago. I know they are still publishing. I have been waiting sixteen months.
 

eqb

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Two of them are fairly straightforward. I'd like to ask about them, rather than just withdraw them. I've been waiting on both pieces about eight months; I assume that's long enough that a polite query letter wouldn't be taken amiss. So how might I phrase such a letter?

Dear (Editor Name):

Eight months ago, I submitted "Story Name" to your publication. I'm writing now to confirm that the manuscript did arrive, and to make sure that your response did not go astray in the mail. Please let me know its current status. I've enclosed a SASE for your reply.

Thank you for your time.

Regards,
(Properly Anxious Writer)

The third is a more awkward situation, and I probably mishandled it from the beginning. What I want now is to get out without any violation of etiquette or ethics...Would it be acceptable to send a three-part letter 1) withdrawing my submission, 2) requesting their full guidelines, and 3) alerting them to a possible problem with their newsletter mailing list?
I'd suggest writing two separate letters, one to withdraw the story and one to request their guidelines and to mention the problem with the newsletter.
 

PeeDee

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If the third magazine doesn't seem quite right for your story (and, therefore, probably isn't) then I'd just send them a letter, withdrawing it from consideration, and then find a solid market.

...and what in the world would possess them to offer their submission guidelines only if you subscribe to their newsletter? It's like a secret club, or something. If you want to SUBSCRIBE to the magazine, you have to be waiting under the Golden Gate Bridge on Tuesday, wearing a watch on your left wrist.

(it's probably a magazine and editor I know, and now I shall never hear the end of it....)
 

Solatium

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Thanks for the advice, everyone!

...and what in the world would possess them to offer their submission guidelines only if you subscribe to their newsletter? It's like a secret club, or something.
Yeah, I get the feeling they didn't think things through too well on that end. Their website is amateurish and hard to navigate -- all the more surprising because the magazine itself is very well put-together.
 
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