Writing with kids

I would probably put the 1,000 words a day on hold and focus on the baby, but thats not to say you shouldn't write altogether.

Perhaps instead of saying 1,000 words a day - you could say "OK I am going to spend an hour total writing today". You may have to do it in spits and starts but I think it can be done. 15 minutes here, 30 minutes there, another 10 here, then 5 and it eventually adds up. As the baby grows and becomes more independent, entertains himself for a short while or takes longer naps you can devote more time to writing.

I hope that gives you some ideas.

I had to drop the daily word count. Some days you just don't get to write. Make an effort though to write every single day and you're not always going to get it at the same time of day either. So squeeze it in whenever you can. Nap times are great!

And I know about the lost sleep. You feel like a cast character in Night of the Living Dead for a while there.

carley said:

Okay, how do all of you parents do it? I have a 4 month old and I'm trying for at least 1000 words a day. My baby is a high maintenance little bugger and it hasn't been going so well.

I'm just looking for tips and advice I guess, and inspiration from other parents. I'm not working, so I don't have the pesky job thing in my way, lol. Just a lot of sleep deprivation and little time. I think I need to get up an hour or two before he does, it's just hard when he's still waking 3-4 times a night. *yawn*

Thanks!

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I know where you're coming from and I sympathise hugely. I have two little monsters who consigned my wife and I to slavery sometime back in the Dark Ages. All I can say is that it gets much better once they can dress and go to the loo themselves. Unfortunately, other than hiring someone else to look after them or sending them to a creche, you're stuck with writing when they're asleep. Try baby Calpol - works wonders!!!

Writing with kids? It's damn difficult. Once they get dull, they don't work well, and I haven't been able to find a kid sharpener anywhere, except for those outrageously priced ones at The Sharper Image.


(It's a joke--I don't use emoticons)

I do most of my writing after the kids are in bed. They're young, so that's around 8:30 or so.

One word: Barney.

Get that boppy, prop the kid up in it, and fire up the DVD.

I'm about to be in your shoes, so these responses are valuable.

I intend to hand the little snot-head off to the spouse for a little while each evening. I plan to call it Mommy's Sanity Hour. If I don't have it, I'm relatively certain I will go insane.

Shadow_Ferret said:

One word: Barney.

Get that boppy, prop the kid up in it, and fire up the DVD.

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No! No! No! Not Barney!!! You'll go mad...how about Barbie the Fairy Princess? At least the music's good

carley said:

I knew someone would chime in with something along those lines. Smart ass!

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You got even. You quoted before I corrected the typo.

If you don't sleep when they sleep then write when they sleep.

Luckily when my son was a baby he loved just sitting and watching me type at the computer. Today he's a computer geek -- go figure.

I'm waiting for the day when they write and I gurgle.

Good post (and timely too). I was going to ask parents of more than one the same question.

I found I didn't really write anything substantial until my first baby was more than 6 months old. We had a lot of sleep issues until she was over a year old. I'm now wondering what's in store for me with my second baby (due in May), and what it'll be like with two of 'em running around.

I've been asked about this a lot since BIW came out, and my flip answer is that "I neglect my family."

Like the best of flip answers, there's a lot of truth to it. While I get up at 4 every morning to write, the editorial and revision work has to be done when I'm more conscious. I figure I probably lost a lot of weekends with my family... It's not a recommendation, but it was the reality for me. Hopefully with the next book that'll be different.

illiterwrite said:

Good post (and timely too). I was going to ask parents of more than one the same question.

I found I didn't really write anything substantial until my first baby was more than 6 months old. We had a lot of sleep issues until she was over a year old. I'm now wondering what's in store for me with my second baby (due in May), and what it'll be like with two of 'em running around.

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It gets worse with each one. Really it does. Because now you don't have the luxury of nap times because they rarely ever sleep at the same time. Compound that with twice the mess and so forth and you find your time gone and your energy drained. I have three and I am just now steadily approaching the daily writing and she is nearly 18 months.

Two words.

Nap. Time.

Hi, carley. My youngest is 3. I still type with her on my lap from time to time. You can't type as fast, and it's distracting to have to answer question after question while you're trying to put a coherent thought on paper, and you both get tired of can-I-push-a-button-no-sweetie, but you can make it work. Every now and then I'll let her be my space-bar-pusher.

Your baby won't be able to type for a while, but I'd just bet you can get some one-handed typing done while nursing or bottle-feeding, whichever you do. If yours is anything like mine were, that's a pretty good chunk of time.

Hope it helps.
HN

If you're the primary caregiver, the reality is that you won't be able write much right now. The bright side is: they grow, really damn fast. Enjoy them while they're small. Unless you want to go so far as to hire a babysitter, nanny, au pair, whatever (day and night) you'll have to tend to the needs of wee one until wee one can tend to his own needs.

I'm going to be there in seven months... here's praying I can make it work! Since writing is going to be my only job, I kind of have to. That said, my husband gets home at 3pm, so I can write after he gets home if at no other time.

First of all I have to say, don't hold yourself to that word count when your little one is so young. You're going to run yourself into the ground. Get some sleep when you need it, write when you can and enjoy him being young.

When my son was that young I would take the time to write during one of my son's naps, usually morning. Then I napped with him during his afternoon nap. Sometimes I got several pages done, other days it was nothing. As he got older and we both started sleeping longer at night, I didn't always need a nap and it was much easier.

Don't try to be a SuperMom...just do what you can.

Oh, boy, do I remember this one. I'm an at-home dad, and I began the introduction to my first book when my elder son, now thirteen, was six weeks old. But even though he wore me out during the day, sometimes, particularly after he stopped napping at age eighteen months, he was a good sleeper at night. Besides, when my wife came home from the office, there were two of us and only one of him. That was almost enough. I kept writing, even taking him to the library on occasion when I had to get books for research purposes, and he'd charm the librarians. The summer he turned six, my book was published. And I'd begun a second, which required a research trip to Europe; while I was gone, my wife took him on a trip for a week.

Then we had our second son. He didn't sleep for the first five months of his life. I carried him around constantly. Sometimes I'd study German vocabulary on note cards while I lugged him around the house (I was trying to improve my German so I could do research). I thought those days would never end, but they did. That's the point; however scary or daunting they seem, the difficulties pass. When I had to, I paid someone else to carry him so I could get an hour or two off--I needed it, because my back and shoulders were killing me. But you do what you have to, and it works out.

More power to you. And don't let anyone tell you (including your mother-in-law) that when you're staying home with the kids, you're not working. Kids are work; at least mine are. (If yours aren't, care to swap?) After all, doesn't everyone on the planet come into the world as the result of a process called labor?

Hillgate said:

No! No! No! Not Barney!!! You'll go mad...how about Barbie the Fairy Princess? At least the music's good

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I agree totally.

I have two kids. My oldest has just started school, so that gets her out of the way for most of the day (of course I mean that in a nice way). My youngest is 3 and is fairly demanding, so it's not easy. Luckily however, still has one sleep per day of a couple of hours and also loves watching "Ice Age" over and over and over. It's amazing what you can get done when you only have a short time span. When they're in bed is good too, but to be honest, I'm so damn tired by then, that I can't string three words together, so I really have to just grab bits of time during the day.

My youngest was about four months when I got back into writing again. Basically, I used every moment I could get. I generally didn't get to shower every day (every other day is better for me anyway as I have dry skin and hair) and my house wasn't always as tidy as it could have been, but I did get stuff done.

I agree. When she watched Teletubbies or the Noggin channel (bless those Noggin people!) I worked. While she napped I worked. In the evening when the hubby got home I worked. She went to sleep at about nine every night and I worked until eleven. Not every night, but most.

I was going to add some helpful advice but it looks like there is a lot of parents out there doing the same thing. Me, I've got four kids ranging from twelve years to eight months and I spend more time finding lost toys, changing diapers, fixing snacks minutes before dinner, and cleaning up messes then I do spending time with my wife. So I write early in the morning, several hours before I'm supposed to get up for work. I can usually pump out three pages of material then edit in the evenings when the kids are busy or settling down to sleep.

As for a high-maintenance baby, they need all the love and attention you can give them. Top hell with the vacuuming and cleaning up anything, just be there for them and soon they'll start to mellow while you learn their routine. My oldest was high maintenance and he still is. I still haven't had a full night's sleep. But don't worry, you'll find a routine that works for the both of you and then the work will flow. Enjoy that little bundle!

Pike

My little ones are eight and three, with a another one due to pop out in August. I forget writing anything coherent during the day, even now, but always have a notebook within reach to jot down plot ideas, fragments of sentences, that sort of thing. When they have finally gone to bed, I fire up a big cup of coffee, grab a handful of something chocolatey (a word?) and get as much writing done as I can before I can write no more.

When they were really young, however, it was all a bit different.

Babies cry 'for no reason', they get ill, they need to be played with, stimulated, loved beyond measure. In my experience, that leaves very little room for anything else.

Sanctimonious drivel? Perhaps. Just saying what I strived for, failing on many occasions. There were times when I could no longer keep my eyes open or bring myself to play yet another game of 'peek a boo' or watch the same Teletubby video for the three hundreth time that day. Writing in those dark and lonely days was not even an option. An endless cycle of sleeping and caring, sleeping and caring. But others on here are dead right. It does get better, it really does. You have your whole life to write, but that special light in the eyes of a baby, well, that don't last long.

So, Carley, don't worry about it too much. You'll find a way, your own way.
Writing really is great, it is wonderful, and to a certain degree it keeps me sane and alive. But, it is just writing.


Best of luck

Lifelong