How much 'wrong' experience can go into a query before it becomes a pity party?

SirTimberWolf · Feb 2, 2007

This is perhaps an unusual question and circumstance but in my story the protagonist has spent time on the streets doing what he felt he needed to so he could get things he had to have (food, warm clothing, etc) and later on toward the end of the book he turns into a strong military-esque type of person as the focus (both in the book and with the characters) turns from individual to team and goals that need to be accomplished.

However my question comes as such: Personaly I know both roles, having spent 2 years on the streets (due to some very dumb choices) and later on I joined the Army and served overseas in two conflict zones. During the writing of the book I tried to put as much of my knowledge into both these subjects as I could without being blatantly obvious that the author is saying 'hey look what I know.' For example you'll never see my protagonist plotting out a course on a 1:50,000 scale map. (Most of the conflict occurs in urban areas.) however you will see him using old long socks to cover up his forearm and keep the wind out of his coat. 'simple' stuff that really draws the character out I think.

So when I'm writing my query letter I was thinking about it. The military stuff is fairly easy (I think) to say 'hey yeah, I know what it's like to serve in a military unit, I've applied that knowledge like this.' But as far as the other side of the coin, being homeless, it's a little harder to put it into words without either trvializing it or making it sound like I'm looking for pity. Couldn't be farther from the truth. . .

Any thoughts?

BlueBadger · Feb 2, 2007

I'm not an agent, but I do know I'd be more interested in a story if I knew the writer based some of the characters' experiences on his own. The one thing I crave in life is more experience, more maturity. I've been through hard times, but I've never been on the streets. The novel I'm working on now stars a drifter-like character, and I constantly worry he doesn't sound authentic.

So if I were you, I wouldn't be too reluctant to at least make a small mention of your homeless days. I'm sure agents' desks are piled with fluffy foo-foo stories that try to be all rough and tough...

Stories like mine. XD

Yours probably has a very strong voice.

sfecphory · Feb 2, 2007

I agree with BlueBadger (can you believe it's the first time I've ever referred to someone called that?).

I suggest your query letter focus on the content of the story, but include a minor reference to your background that points out both your time spent homeless and in the military. They will want to know.

Good luck.

loquax · Feb 2, 2007

I think mentioning it would help. Orwell's Down and Out is pretty damn good, and you know it because it feels real. IMO anything that would make the agent want to read your work is good.

CaroGirl · Feb 2, 2007

I don't think it needs to be a pity party at all. Economy of words is paramount in a query, and just saying, "My two years of living on the street has allowed me to accurately portray many details of Character A's life." Or some such. No pity party. Just the fax, man.

Petroglyph · Feb 2, 2007

I agree with CaroGirl. Keep it matter of fact. I think it adds interest. You could also send off ten queries that mention it and ten that do not, and see what the responses are.

Good luck.

Hillgate · Feb 2, 2007

Based on your experience I'd say you won't need to send out that many queries to get a bite. I'd put in your biog background in four lines or so and include both sides. It's a great selling point.

Good luck!

SirTimberWolf · Feb 2, 2007

Thank you all for your replies. I was kind of curious about that but I don't want to come off as leaning toward 'you should see this, it's so cool and I know what I'm talking about because _I_ did it first!' or something like that... Bah, stupid male pride doesn't always keep it a simple choice, hah.

Okay, thanks again for the replies, I'm going to go work on the letter a bit more and post it up for crits.

How much 'wrong' experience can go into a query before it becomes a pity party?

SirTimberWolf

Hiding between the covers.

BlueBadger

Knows notebooks can kill.

sfecphory

loquax

I verb nouns adverbly

CaroGirl

Living the dream

Petroglyph

gestating a plot

Hillgate

On location

SirTimberWolf

Hiding between the covers.