Examples of "tasteful sex scenes"

Norman D Gutter · Jan 23, 2007

Hello, fellow congregants at the Water Cooler:

After the moved thread about sex in fiction, I thought a different discussion might be in order.

Assuming we want to reach the largest possible audience with a novel, realizing that people have sex and it must be included in any realistic portrayal of life, and realizing there are some who don't want to read a novel containing explicit description of sex acts, what are some examples you could put forth as achieving this end? Copyright laws demand these either be links or fair-use snippets.

My example comes from The Winds of War by Herman Wouk. In describing when Rhoda Henry committed adultery, he says the following.

Maybe we could! Three words, and a life pattern and a character dissolved. The old lady gave them a bedroom, asking no questions. Everything followed: undressing with a stranger, casting aside with her underclothes her modesty and her much-treasured rectitude, yielding to a torrent of novel sensations. To be taken by this large demanding man left her throbbing with animal pleasure. All her thoughts since then went back to that point in time, and there halted.

What's your example?

NDG

James D. Macdonald · Jan 23, 2007

...realizing that people have sex and it must be included in any realistic portrayal of life...

If and only if it advances the plot, supports the theme, or reveals character.

Levi · Jan 23, 2007

Norman D Gutter said:
realizing that people have sex and it must be included in any realistic portrayal of life...

James D. Macdonald said:
If and only if it advances the plot, supports the theme, or reveals character.

Thanks you for clarifying this. It seems to me that a fiction writer who has religious sensibilities could never become a successful popular novelist if the first statement above were true.

Norman D Gutter · Jan 23, 2007

James D. Macdonald said:
If and only if it advances the plot, supports the theme, or reveals character.

I agree completely; wish I'd said that. In the example I gave, the adulterous relationship was central to the plot, and carried over even through the entire sequal, War and Remembrance.

C.bronco · Jan 23, 2007

Levi said:
Thanks you for clarifying this. It seems to me that a fiction writer who has religious sensibilities could never become a successful popular novelist if the first statement above were true.

I don't have sex scenes, but then my novels are ya. Even if I wrote an adult piece, I probably wouldn't have a sex scene. It's not based on principle, it's just that I don't want to (have one in a story, that is). When I see a movie with a sex scene, I look at it as an opportunity to go to the bathroom (which I awlays have to do because I buy the jumbo diet coke).

RJLeahy · Jan 23, 2007

Hmmm..my example (used on another thread):

"Get me the butter."
--Last Tango in Paris

It's funny, in my scifi adventure, a woman soldier becomes involved with a feline-like animal. I never wrote a scene detailing the...physical nature of their relationship, prefering to leave it purposely ambiguious. My editor (female), was animate about not "teasing" the reader, as she put it. After much back-and-forth on the issue I settled on an 'apres le sexe' dialogue that conveyed the previous action.

I really enjoy great sex in novels. Just can't seem to write them into my own work.

TrainofThought · Jan 23, 2007

My WIP has sex scenes that support the plot and characters. The first sex scene describes an emotional disconnect with one of the characters and the others confirm his love. I asked a beta reader if I should delete it and she said no it’s part of the character development.

I don’t have an example, but Sarah Dunant writes a good sex scene in The Birth of Venus.

Bravo · Jan 23, 2007

"he measured his ruler inside of her slippery cavern of delight."

Sean D. Schaffer · Jan 23, 2007

James D. Macdonald said:
If and only if it advances the plot, supports the theme, or reveals character.

Agreed. If the sex scene has no plot-advancing value, it has no place in the story, IMO.

That said, I think a tasteful sex scene depends mostly upon what you as the author are willing to put into such a scene. I believe if you're not comfortable with the content of the scene, you shouldn't put it in.

Simon Woodhouse · Jan 23, 2007

I tend to think the consequences of sex are more important than showing the deed itself. I use the before and after approach, leaving the in between for the reader's imagination to fill in. Most adults (or all I would hope), are familiar with the mechanics of sex. Seeing as I don't have anything new to add to the ins and outs of what happens, I prefer not to retread very trodden ground. But I have no problem with other people reading/writing/researching the subject.

Bravo said:
"he measured his ruler inside of her slippery cavern of delight."

I prefer – he slipped his banana into her fruit salad.

icerose · Jan 23, 2007

Simon Woodhouse said:
I tend to think the consequences of sex are more important than showing the deed itself. I use the before and after approach, leaving the in between for the reader's imagination to fill in.
SNIP

I am the same way. Before and after.

sunandshadow · Jan 23, 2007

"Tasteful sex scene" just seems like a nonsensical concept to me. When I see a nonexplicit sex scene I don't call it that, I call it a cop out. To me if you want to put sex in your book at all you should do it justice by writing about it in loving detail; if you don't want to really write about it, don't write about it at all. I also don't think sex is necessary to every realistic portrayal of life, if your story isn't about romance or rape/sexual abuse, sex is probably irrelevant to the story.

Chasing the Horizon · Jan 23, 2007

It's funny that we never have these kinds of discussions about battle scenes. When one of my warriors decapitates one of the bad guys, should I show the head fly off or leave it to the readers imagination? Never seems to come up.
*ahem* Anyway....

Unless you're writing erotica any fully described sex scene has to serve some purpose beyond the, well, obvious. Usually sex scenes show character development and relationship development. There's always other ways to show this, though they won't generally be as dramatic as a well written sex scene. It also depends on the genre and the overall feel of the other scenes in your novel. If the entire book is graphic and descriptive then suddenly shies away when a sex scene comes up, I notice, but if the general feel was lighter or more internal then it doesn't jump out at me.

For some reason I've seen more sex scenes that didn't work than I have any other single element of novels. I'm not counting ones where the author 'shut the door', just the ones where the author tried to describe the scene and failed miserably.

If you want to reach the largest possible audience, probably the 'before and after' technique is best, since it's pretty hard for anyone to object to this and you still get to show the majority of the emotional impact.

Nothing ruins a good book faster than a poorly written sex scene, so do what you as an author feel most comfortable with. And remember that no matter what you do, there will always be some people who hate your book. You can't please everyone.

greglondon · Jan 23, 2007

Assuming we want to reach the largest possible audience with a novel ... and realizing there are some who don't want to read a novel containing explicit description of sex acts

I think you also assume that if you write your novel so as to please the readers who don't like explicit sex scenes that you'll somehow not dissappoint the readers who do. You can't please everyone. Sometimes you just have to write the story that's right for you.

kirstin_mccormack · Jan 23, 2007

Norman D Gutter said:
...realizing that people have sex and it must be included in any realistic portrayal of life...

People go to the bathroom as well... must that be included in any realistic portrayal of life??

Norman D Gutter · Jan 23, 2007

I'm struggling...

...to understand the nature of the discussion that has ensued on this thread. I started this because this thread, http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=52894, which was originally posted in this forum but moved to TIO, went way off track, was probably not a legitimate question in the first place, and seemed to indicate some interest in the topic. Perhaps I interpreted all that incorrectly.

Or perhaps no discussion about sex can ever stay on track.

I think my request was simple, but I'll restate it and try to focus it more: You decided you want your novel to appeal to people who don't want to read explicit details about sex acts. Some sex is necessary to advance the plot, character development, etc. (thanks Uncle Jim for that clarification). Does anyone have examples of this they can share, preferably from successful published novels? I posted one I think fits the bill. Two others have posted one-liners which, if they are the sum total of the description of the sex scene, are not what I'm after.

So I'll ask again...no, I'll just refer to what I've already written.

NDG

James D. Macdonald · Jan 24, 2007

Pages 272-274 of my most recent novel. Stocked and shelved in bookstores everywhere.

alleycat · Jan 24, 2007

Not because they're so tasteless, but because they're so badly done, I always snicker at the love scenes written by Ken Follett.

Jenan Mac · Jan 24, 2007

I've kind of wrestled with the whole question with my recently-finished one. Ultimately, I didn't put one in. My MC is in a long term relationship, has a full-time job, and a two year old. It occurred to me that being too tired to bother was probably more true to character than wild bunny sex anyway.

NeuroFizz · Jan 24, 2007

Anyone who jumps from a tongue-thrusting kiss to the post-coital cigarette misses an excellent opportunity for developing a character or characters. This can be one of the most intense emotional (and physical) experiences around, and how a character goes about it, reacts to it, and reacts to his/her partner can be used as a writing tool. If, on the other hand, the scene has little to add to the story, skip it.

ChaosTitan · Jan 24, 2007

Hope To The Horizon said:
It's funny that we never have these kinds of discussions about battle scenes. When one of my warriors decapitates one of the bad guys, should I show the head fly off or leave it to the readers imagination? Never seems to come up.

Start a new thread. I'd be interested in this topic.

Norman D Gutter said:
Does anyone have examples of this they can share, preferably from successful published novels?

For some reason "Gone With the Wind" always comes to mind, and has been used as an example of hot, yet non-explicit sex scene. I don't have a quote, but it's when a drunken Rhett takes Scarlet somewhat against her will (remember the scene on the stairs from the movie?).

Another tastefully written one (and important to the plot) is from Norma Klein's "It's Okay If You Don't Love Me." It's YA, girl-meets-boy, boy-is-virgin, girl-deflowers-boy. But it was one of my favorite books when I was a teenager. I like the sex scenes, because they are realistic. The girl doesn't orgasm the first time, as most girls don't. They have to work at it before she achieves a climax.

jodiodi · Jan 24, 2007

kirstin_mccormack said:
People go to the bathroom as well... must that be included in any realistic portrayal of life??

Well, as a romance writer, I usually include at least one sex scene per book simply to show the characters relationships to one another. Sometimes they're explicit, sometimes implied.

And given that in my fantasy world for the current WIP, sex is an integral part of establishing the marriage union (the heroine describes it as being like becoming addicted to a drug) and once the characters have sex for the first time in this mystical way, they cannot bear to be parted, physically, for several days, the subject of taking care of 'other physical needs' came up. I don't describe it in detail, just something along the lines of:

They spent the rest of the day resting together, talking of the inconsequential things that are so important to lovers. Eventually, however, they had to deal with the decidedly unromantic reality of being biological beings with other urges than simply to mate. Their solution was to maintain as much bodily contact as was physically possible while still accomplishing their tasks. It was actually quite comical and after their first trial-and-error attempts, they found themselves sitting on the floor of the privacy chamber, arms around each other, laughing until both had tears streaming down their faces.

“When my father told me of the seal, he obviously left some things out,” Geoffrey gasped after he managed to catch his breath.

“I guess it would take away a little of the mystique to have to discuss such mundane subjects,” she agreed.

I hope it's 'tasteful'.

C.bronco · Jan 24, 2007

NeuroFizz said:
Anyone who jumps from a tongue-thrusting kiss to the post-coital cigarette misses an excellent opportunity for developing a character or characters. This can be one of the most intense emotional (and physical) experiences around, and how a character goes about it, reacts to it, and reacts to his/her partner can be used as a writing tool. If, on the other hand, the scene has little to add to the story, skip it.

I hadn't thought about it that way. It could be very revealing about a character's mind set, personality, relationship etc etc.

maestrowork · Jan 24, 2007

kirstin_mccormack said:
People go to the bathroom as well... must that be included in any realistic portrayal of life??

If that scene advances the plot, develops the characters, and strengthens the themes.

I get frustrated when writers say things like "I won't do this, and I won't do that." To rule out something categorically is to say I am not ready to go all out with the truth, yet. IMHO. It doesn't mean you HAVE to write something you don't want to, but when your story calls for it, you shouldn't shy away from it either.

I'm personally queasy about violence, but in my WIP, there's a lot of violence because it's relevant to my story and characters. If I tell myself, "It makes me uncomfortable and sick, so I'm not going to write it" then I have no reason to write that story at all.

maestrowork · Jan 24, 2007

James D. Macdonald said:
Pages 272-274 of my most recent novel. Stocked and shelved in bookstores everywhere.

Page 155 of my novel, The Pacific Between.

Examples of "tasteful sex scenes"

Engineer Sonneteer

Your Genial Uncle

Engineer Sonneteer

I have plans...

A flowering bud of bitchiness

Socialitest

Lost in School Work

Impractical Fantasy Animal

Blowing in the Wind

Planet Wookie techno geek

Engineer Sonneteer

Your Genial Uncle

Still around

The Deadliest Bunny

The grad students did it

Around

Reflections of Reality

I have plans...

Fear the Death Ray

Fear the Death Ray