Flashbacks

Vandal · Jan 20, 2007

I'd like to know a good way to handle flashbacks. Many of the characters in my novel have the ability to view the past through other peoples' memories and it happens upon them quickly. I have chosen to transition from the present to the past by putting the episodes in italics and changing the tense. Here is a short example:

As Judith spoke, a new set of memories came to Kimberly. At first, it took her breath away, then she closed her eyes and tried to focus on the events in her mind.

She sees the six men sending the women and children away.

She sees each tearful hug.

She sees her brother clinging to his father, refusing to join the others and her father telling him to protect his mother.

She sees the six men gathering at her father's house, preparing to defend their village.

Does this work or is there a better way? I use this many times in my novel so I'd like to be consistent.

Thanks.

PeeDee · Jan 20, 2007

I don't know if you need to change the tense, but it doesn't bother me any that you do.

I don't see why that shouldn't work out.

Garpy · Jan 20, 2007

that seems to work just fine. IMHO, making it present tense is correct, appropriate.

maestrowork · Jan 20, 2007

Do you need to keep saying "She sees?"

If you italicize the memory flashbacks and single them out by a tense change, just report it:

As Judith spoke, a new set of memories came to Kimberly. At first, it took her breath away, then she closed her eyes and tried to focus on the events in her mind.

Six men were sending the women and children away.

Tearful hugs.

Her brother clings to his father, refusing to join the others and her father tells him to protect his mother.

The six men gather at her father's house, preparing to defend their village.

windyrdg · Jan 20, 2007

I'd be careful with the italics. If you have a number of flashbacks, as you seem to imply, they're going to become tedious.

Why not combine the entire even into one sentence:
At first, it took her breath away. She closed her eyes and focused on the events in her mind. Six men sending the children away; tearful hugs, her brother clinging to their father and refusing to join the others, their father telling him to protect his mother...
Alternately, you could make them fragments.

Jamesaritchie · Jan 20, 2007

I think you're doing the opposite of what you should be. The idea is to make flashbacks invisible, or at least seamless, not draw attention to them.

Just remembering something isn't even really a flashback, and there's no need to get fancy with a simple memory, or even to treat it like a flashback.

I believe good flashbacks make a smooth transition into the past, then treat teh past just as if it were the present, and then smoothly transition back to teh present when the time is right.

jodiodi · Jan 20, 2007

Along the same lines, I have a section where a character tells what happened in the distant past, explaining how he knows the main villain. The villain had tried to kill his people and the character's wife defeated him but lost her life in the process. It's a fairly long story, written in first person as he tells the MC about it. Should I italicize it or just set it off on its own with asterisks?

Sorry, don't want to hijack the thread, but it's semi-related I think.

ChaosTitan · Jan 20, 2007

jodiodi said:
Along the same lines, I have a section where a character tells what happened in the distant past, explaining how he knows the main villain. The villain had tried to kill his people and the character's wife defeated him but lost her life in the process. It's a fairly long story, written in first person as he tells the MC about it. Should I italicize it or just set it off on its own with asterisks?

Sorry, don't want to hijack the thread, but it's semi-related I think.

If the section is dialogue, with the character telling the MC a vivid story, it isn't a flashback. You can set it off with a scene break before and after the character tells the story, if it's more than a few pages. But there is no need for italics.

Vandal · Jan 20, 2007

Thanks for the responses. Now that you point it out, maestrowork, repeating "She sees" at the start of each memory is unnecessary. I removed it from a couple of other passages with favorable results.

I am very impressed with the variety of opinions and advice on this board.

jodiodi · Jan 20, 2007

Thanks, Chaostitan.

And thanks Vandal for opening this thread.

Vandal · Jan 20, 2007

jodiodi said:
And thanks Vandal for opening this thread.

My thread is your thread!

I had a list of questions I wanted to ask this forum and I found out that someone has already beat me to most of them.

Cat Scratch · Jan 20, 2007

Just an aside, I witnessed looks of abject horror on the faces of the people in my writer's group when I mentioned that my book is told half in flashbacks, every other chapter. How many gazillion times have I read that flashbacks are tricky, and to be used sparingly? Many. Why must I be the rebel?

My only defense is that I think I've done it well. If not, I've wasted fifteen months of my life.

Novelist in Paradise · Jan 20, 2007

Well, if it's a mind-memory read, it's not really a flashback, I don't think.

Your technique works for me, except I agree with Maestro, drop the "I see."

"it took her breath away" is a bit too cliche for my taste.

ChaosTitan · Jan 21, 2007

Cat Scratch said:
Just an aside, I witnessed looks of abject horror on the faces of the people in my writer's group when I mentioned that my book is told half in flashbacks, every other chapter. How many gazillion times have I read that flashbacks are tricky, and to be used sparingly? Many. Why must I be the rebel?

If half of the story takes place in "flashbacks," is that really what they are? Or is your story set in two timelines, both the present and the past?

Have you ever read IT, by Stephen King? One could argue that he uses flashbacks to the extreme, but one could also argue that the story is simply set in two time periods, and the telling flips back and forth between them.

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