Absurd Things You Do While Awaiting an Agent Response

Tia Nevitt · Jan 16, 2007

Some absurd things that you might do while waiting for an agent to consider your full manuscript:

Carry your phone with you everywhere, beginning with the first possible moment the prospective agent might conceivably call. After all, it is possible that the agent sat up all weekend reading your work and may just call first thing Monday morning! Or even Tuesday night at 10:30, the instant they reached the end!
Memorize the agent's area code. (Or enter the agent's phone number into your phone's address book and assign a special ring-tone to it. Haven't done that one yet, but it's an idea!)
Start dreading emails. At this point, a phone call is what you want, not an email. You begin to hate that little email icon that pops up the instant you have new mail.
Imagine what your agent might think when she reaches this or that point in your novel.
Have a heart attack when you reread your manuscript again and discover a tiny inconsistency.
Scrutinize the agent's blog every hour, reading her posts for any sign that she is talking about your novel.

Got any others?

Vincent · Jan 16, 2007

Stop writing.

Pamster · Jan 16, 2007

Haven't gotten that far yet but I am sure I will. Someday soon I hope!

Loved the fancy ring idea Tia, really a cool thought. LOL! :ROFL:

C.bronco · Jan 16, 2007

Visit the Virgin Mary statue and ask for absolution.

DeadlyAccurate · Jan 16, 2007

Tia Nevitt said:
Some absurd things that you might do while waiting for an agent to consider your full manuscript:

Start dreading emails. At this point, a phone call is what you want, not an email. You begin to hate that little email icon that pops up the instant you have new mail.

Not necessarily. My offer came via email. In fact, I called her first, when I accepted.

PeeDee · Jan 16, 2007

Write something for someone else.

Drink tea.

MidnightMuse · Jan 16, 2007

I guess the strangest thing I've done was daydream about acceptance. Usually I just write the next story and try not to think about it.

Serena Casey · Jan 16, 2007

I haven't sent anything to an agent yet, but I can identify with Tia's list. Those are the kinds of things I do when I'm waiting for someone's response on something I've created.

Danzer · Jan 16, 2007

Prepare your acceptance speech (or email) (or letter).

janetbellinger · Jan 16, 2007

Realize you addressed the a gent as Ms. instead of Mr.

clara bow · Jan 16, 2007

Google the agent incessantly, even re-reading the same information.

Read blogs of authors who are the agent's clients even though I will never read their books.

Send holiday greetings, if one pops up during the wait time.

JeanneTGC · Jan 16, 2007

Approach the mailbox as an enemy -- because it might contain a SASE.

Elektra · Jan 16, 2007

clara bow said:
Google the agent incessantly, even re-reading the same information.

Read blogs of authors who are the agent's clients even though I will never read their books.

Send holiday greetings, if one pops up during the wait time.

Yay! Someone else does it, too!

blacbird · Jan 16, 2007

I examine fossil plant pollen and spores under a high-power microscope. Bet none of the rest of you do that.

caw

Matt Lipp · Jan 17, 2007

Master "The Cat's Cradle" on the yo yo.

engmajor2005 · Jan 17, 2007

Fire up my Playstation 2, pop in Guitar Hero, and prepare my sacrifice to the Guitar Gods.

Read a trashy porno vampire novel.

Refuse to listen any comments relaying to me the sentiment that not everybody makes.

Weep.

Gnash teeth.

Rip at clothing and hair.

Try to cut a deal with God: if He will inspire the agent to accept my novel, He can have my soul.
Hey, it works for the Devil.

Meerkat · Jan 17, 2007

Call agent's office each friday afternoon to let them know what alternate address and phone number you will have for this weekend.

ink wench · Jan 17, 2007

JeanneTGC said:
Approach the mailbox as an enemy -- because it might contain a SASE.

Yeah, that's probably what I'd do. Except we have a mail slot. There's no way to avoid checking for mail.

maestrowork · Jan 17, 2007

Design my book cover. Print business cards with the word "Authur" on them.

PeeDee · Jan 17, 2007

"Authur" huh?

I would design a t-shirt that says "Professional Maker-Upper."

Shadow_Ferret · Jan 17, 2007

MidnightMuse said:
I guess the strangest thing I've done was daydream about acceptance. Usually I just write the next story and try not to think about it.

This is what I do. I daydream about all the millions of dollars I'll have to spend and all the legions of groupies I'll have to spend it on.

Then I get back to writing something else.

Or at least I think this is what I'll do once I do get around to shopping my MS.

Rolling Thunder · Jan 17, 2007

Stalk the squirrels in my backyard with a sharp stick. Haven't you heard: Every time a squirrel sings an agent gives you things?

They squeal really loud if you poke'em just right. (The squirrels that is. Though using a sharp stick on an agent might yield faster results.)

Oh man, I hope Ms. Diver doesn't peek in here.

Elektra · Jan 17, 2007

Shadow_Ferret said:
This is what I do. I daydream about all the millions of dollars I'll have to spend and all the legions of groupies I'll have to spend it on.

Then I get back to writing something else.

Or at least I think this is what I'll do once I do get around to shopping my MS.

I plan dream vacations and think of all the books I'll buy with my billion dollar advance (now if only agents could come to see this as inevitable

)

CaroGirl · Jan 17, 2007

Cook, clean, do laundry, bake. I bet you wish you were married to me, huh? Except I must also add shop to the list. Not exactly absurd, but what can ya do?

kbax · Jan 17, 2007

Have a heart attack when you reread your manuscript again and discover a tiny inconsistency.

Or, alternately, have a brain aneurysm when you realize that you typed your phone number wrong on the query.

Your first query. Ever.

Of course, this is completely hypothetical. I've never done anything like that....

Absurd Things You Do While Awaiting an Agent Response

Anywhere but here, anywhen but now

Cheers

Counting Stars

I have plans...

Absolutely Fazed

Where's my tea, please...?

Midnight Reading

User Titles Rock

Li'l Rug Bug

I *am* Catwoman...and Gini Koch

Don't Call Me Sweetheart

Claims the loan was a gift

ray of motherf#%&ing sunshine

Fear the Death Ray

Where's my tea, please...?

Court Jester

Don't Call Me Sweetheart

Living the dream

Refrigerate After Opening

I am Catwoman...and Gini Koch