The Internal Editor Holding Pen

scarletpeaches · Dec 28, 2006

Bonsoir, ladles and jellyspoons.

We need somewhere to leave our internal editors while we are off being wonderfully talented writers...or at least I do. So I wondered if you could keep an eye on mine.

He's an invisible silver rhinoceros called Keith, and he doesn't eat much besides adverbs and prologues. He likes glitter and purple ink, but there's no accounting for taste.

I hope it's okay if I leave him here for a few months while I get some work done?

Thanking you kindly. Leave your I.E. here too; so he doesn't get lonely.

I'll be back round about March to pick him up for editing my WIP, but I'll need you to keep an eye on him again later in the year while I re-write my trunk novel from years back. He doesn't like it when I mention this monstrosity and might get a bit frisky.

If he does though, lull him to sleep with the sound of your paper shredder.

Thanks.

PeeDee · Dec 28, 2006

My internal editor is actually an interalized version of my reading-out-loud voice, (complete with accents and voices) and he's constantly reading the manuscript as I write it. I like him. He makes sure that what I'm writing sounds like I want it to sound.

I've got some of The Boys keeping an eye on yours, Scarlet.

PattiTheWicked · Dec 28, 2006

My internal editor is a handsome Brit in Regency-era clothing. He looks like Colin Firth.

He tells me when I'm being foolish.

He also applauds when I'm delightfully witty.

scarletpeaches · Dec 28, 2006

Oh, I forgot to mention Keith's problem. He pees Tipp-Ex and his dung's made of putty-rubbers.

Azure Skye · Dec 28, 2006

PattiTheWicked said:
My internal editor is a handsome Brit in Regency-era clothing. He looks like Colin Firth.

He tells me when I'm being foolish.

He also applauds when I'm delightfully witty.

How do you get any work done with an internal editor who looks like Colin Firth?

:::fans herself:::

scarletpeaches · Dec 28, 2006

I'd rather have Rupert Everett.

And yes, I DID mean 'have' in that sense.

May I borrow your fan?

Azure Skye · Dec 28, 2006

scarletpeaches said:
I'd rather have Rupert Everett.

And yes, I DID mean 'have' in that sense.

May I borrow your fan?

:::throws cold water on Peaches:::

I seemed to have misplaced my I.E. I beat the crap out of her a few months ago and I haven't seen her since. She's probably in a fetal position hiding under the steps somewhere.

J.S Greer · Dec 28, 2006

My internal editor is Orlando Bloom. Seriously. I channel him when I need to make my writing sexy and taught.

He usually wears his elf ears. His bow helps alot too.

PattiTheWicked · Dec 29, 2006

scarletpeaches said:
Oh, I forgot to mention Keith's problem. He pees Tipp-Ex and his dung's made of putty-rubbers.

I'm not sure what a puttyrubber is, but I'm pretty sure it's icky.

PattiTheWicked · Dec 29, 2006

Azura Skye said:
How do you get any work done with an internal editor who looks like Colin Firth?

:::fans herself:::

Well, he's rather aloof. We have a love-hate relationship. It's like Moonlighting.

scarletpeaches · Dec 29, 2006

PattiTheWicked said:
I'm not sure what a puttyrubber is, but I'm pretty sure it's icky.

You find them in art shops; probably more correctly called putty erasers. They erase pencil marks without tearing the paper.

Keith is my local art shop's main supplier.

PeeDee · Dec 29, 2006

scarletpeaches said:
You find them in art shops; probably more correctly called putty erasers. They erase pencil marks without tearing the paper.

Keith is my local art shop's main supplier.

They're weird and wonderful. My wife has one. I mostly just wind up playing with it, but she actually uses it. So odd.

scarletpeaches · Dec 29, 2006

PeeDee - play with your wife's putty rubber all you want.

Here's the solution for a replacement - squish up a slice of bread; it works just as well. Just make sure it's not granary and take the crust off.

Shadow_Ferret · Dec 29, 2006

My internal editor is a deformed hunchback who is an extremely slow reader. I type faster than he reads so I only get an occasional "Masser Ferret, thars a typo." Then to make him happy I'll fix that word before he has a chance to read anything else.

He's really kind of cuddly, but the bell ringing is very annoying.

PeeDee · Dec 29, 2006

Is he named Igor? And is it pronounced "eegor" or "eye-gor?" And are you Froderick, per chance?

scarletpeaches · Dec 29, 2006

Isn't it insteresting that SF's internal editor is actually a character from someone else's novel?

PeeDee · Dec 29, 2006

Now THERE'S a thread worth your weight (whateverthatmaybe) in salt, Scarlet.

*ahem*

If your internal editor (or muse? or writerly half?) were a character from a novel, who would he be?

MidnightMuse · Dec 29, 2006

PeeDee said:
If your internal editor (or muse? or writerly half?) were a character from a novel, who would he be?

Ford Prefect. He knows more than I do, only tells me when I'm seconds away from crashing and burning (mostly because he thinks everyone should already know that), sometimes panics when he knows he shouldn't, and often just doesn't worry about much of anything.

Is it any wonder I'm not published?

PeeDee · Dec 29, 2006

Spoooky......I was thinking Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy as well.

Half the time, he's Arthur Dent, which is to say he doesn't do a great deal, has no idea what I'm going on about, but can do me a very good pot of tea.

The rest of the time, he's Zaphod Beeblebrox, which means he doesn't do much, has no idea, doesn't care, and honestly, he isn't even reading the same thing I am.

scarletpeaches · Dec 29, 2006

OI! Stop hijacking my thread!!!

I'll start another one for this.

PeeDee · Dec 29, 2006

I'd better get royalties, then!

scarletpeaches · Dec 29, 2006

Bah! It was all my idea - ish. Sort of.

I'll let Keith loose on you if you don't behave.

Provrb1810meggy · Dec 29, 2006

Hmm...well, if all your internal editors are just sitting around, you wouldn't mind me using them, would you? I didn't think so. In the van, editors! Time to work on my third draft!

scarletpeaches · Dec 29, 2006

HELP!

Keith's been internaleditornapped!

Carrie in PA · Dec 29, 2006

Um, could we please get back to Colin Firth???? Mmmm... Colin...

The Internal Editor Holding Pen

Where's my tea, please...?

Unleashing Hell.

Huh?

Huh?

Feel the power!

Unleashing Hell.

Unleashing Hell.

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Court Jester

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Where's my tea, please...?

Midnight Reading

Where's my tea, please...?

Where's my tea, please...?

Write All The Words!