Beta Buddy wanted for SciFi/Fantasy

Okay, it's that time. I've done two extensive revisions/rewrites of my 82,000-word YA science fiction novel entitled THE FIREFLY WINGS and I would like to have someone else take a look at it and give me some serious, no-holds-barred critiquing. I would be more than happy to return the favor; if you have anything in the scifi/fantasy genre that has gone past AT LEAST the rough draft stage, let me at it. Sorry, I can't read rough drafts. I need something a little more revised than that.

I don't know how these processes work. We could swap the whole thing at once, three chapters at a time, or however you want to do it.

My main issues of concern for my MS are: is it confusing? is the plot solid? do you care about the characters? do you like the POV? does it read like YA lit? and of course, does it suck? I think I've gotten these issues resolved, but I need a fresh perspective to second this.

I have some pieces of my MS floating around in the SYW sections, but I've done extensive revisions of said pieces. Here's the query letter I used for the book. If it sounds like something you'd like to work with, PM me and we will get started. If you want for me to critique your work as well, send me a little blurb on your story.

THE FIREFLY WINGS - Query

We have all dreamed about flying, but would it be worth enslaving another to make this dream come true?

Elaina, an orphan longing for a better life, wins the oppressed planet of Deriva's most sought after prize: a one-way ticket to their moon's utopian society. But out of their love for flying like angels, the moon's authoritarian government forces her to return to Deriva and work at a factory that makes wings. Surrounded by ruthless guards, attack dogs, and brainwashed workers, she learns a chilling secret: it takes the enslavement of an entire world for the moon to create their manmade heaven. With a deceived and broken heart, Elaina joins a rebellion to liberate the factory workers form slavery. But everyone around her, even the workers themselves, will go to any lengths to make sure that she doesn't succeed.


Oh, I forgot, if you want to check out a little bit of my prose to see if it is to your taste, click on my myspace link and then click on the blog entitled 'chapter 1 revised'.

Thanks!

Could you clarify what the POV confusion is, perhaps?

Whenever I enter into someone's mind and we hear the characters thoughts, which I do a LOT in my story, I always use a tag beforehand to clarify. Like in the example you stated, right before that, I wrote: "Elaina envisioned the possibilities" because I'm trying to find a way to ease the transition in and out of their minds. Did it not work? Well, I'm not going to go back to the drawing board on this right away, but I will definitely put your thoughts into consideration.

I knew keeping the father's POV would be confusing, since the rest of the chapter is with Elaina, but I don't know, I just like his little segment. He's so disturbed that even though it yanks us out of Elaina's POV, I still wanted to keep it b/c it shows a little different side of her life. I have been debating whether or not to throw it out.

Gracias por ayudarme, Misty.



And to anyone else whose reading this, I've gotten 0 responses on the whole beta reader thing. I don't know how long it takes to get a reader and maybe I came off as snooty saying I didn't want to read a rough draft, but if you have something you'd like for me to look at, I'd be more than happy to regardless of its stage if you'd care to return the favor.