Alien Character Dialogue

jonpiper · Dec 4, 2006

The first two pages of my screenplay show two aliens from a distant planet visiting earth thousands of years ago. The rest of the screenplay takes place in the U.S. and that dialogue is in English.

How should I handle the Aliens' dialogue. Subtitles? Plain English without explanation? or:

ALIEN 1
(unfamiliar vocals)
What is that object?

ALIEN 2
Where?

Some other way?

WildScribe · Dec 4, 2006

In the case of the screenplay, is it up to you, or more up to the director?

jonpiper · Dec 4, 2006

If in subtitles, how do I write it?

jonpiper · Dec 4, 2006

Good question, WildScribe. Even if it's up to the Director, how do I write it in the screenplay?

jonpiper · Dec 4, 2006

I should have said: in the spec script.

dpaterso · Dec 4, 2006

Because this isn't a usual foreign language translation, e.g.

FRENCHMAN
(in French, subtitled)
Good evening kind sir! Is your
beautiful daughter for sale?

...I'd state up front how the aliens' language sounds, and how they emit that sound if applicable, e.g.

Vertical slits in the aliens' foreheads flap open and shut, producing a series of wet sucking/popping sounds.

ALIEN 1 (V.O.)
What is that object?

...The voice over extension tells us that the voice will likely be recorded elsewhere and added to the sound track.

-or-

ALIEN 1
(subtitle)
What is that object?

But having said this... unless they're saying something incredibly worthwhile I wouldn't have them talk at all, their actions could speak for themselves. In my opinion the most interesting aliens are the silent mysterious variety that make you wonder what the heck they're doing, and why.

Each to their own, have fun either way.

-Derek

Celia Cyanide · Dec 4, 2006

I agree with Derek. How necessary is it that they speak? I would have them speak as little as possible, but maybe a little to establish what their language sounds like. That might be interesting.

Joe Unidos · Dec 4, 2006

I would do it like this, more or less:

Two ALIENS cross the virgin wilderness. Their speech is guttural, mechanical. Completely alien.

ALIEN ONE
(subtitled)
I love being from Outer Space.

ALIEN TWO
(subtitled)
Outer Space is the best, man. For real. Earth stinks.

C.bronco · Dec 4, 2006

Joe Unidos said:
I would do it like this, more or less:

Two ALIENS cross the virgin wilderness. Their speech is guttural, mechanical. Completely alien.

ALIEN ONE
(subtitled)
I love being from Outer Space.

ALIEN TWO
(subtitled)
Outer Space is the best, man. For real. Earth stinks.

"completely alien"... LOL!

Do you think you'd need subtitles, or would the audience get a hint about the content of their conversation through context and body language?

dpaterso · Dec 4, 2006

Joe, why do you hate Earth?

-Derek

Joe Unidos · Dec 4, 2006

dpaterso said:
Joe, why do you hate Earth?

-Derek

jonpiper · Dec 4, 2006

Derek, I like those forehead flaps that create sucking/popping sounds, but unfortunatel my aliens didn't come from that planet and they appear human and move their lips.

You're right, they may not need to speak. I'll take another look at silence, like the space travelers in 2001.

Joe, you wrote:

Two ALIENS cross the virgin wilderness. Their speech is guttural, mechanical. Completely alien.

ALIEN ONE
(subtitled)
I love being from Outer Space.

I understand that the action/description line establishes how their speech sounds.

When you write (subtitled), does that mean the English dialogue will be in the subtitle and the actual speech will sound as the Director chooses?

Another thought. If I add voice over:

ALIEN ONE (V.O.)
(subtitled)
I love being from Outer Space.

Would this tell the Director they do not move their lips when they make their sounds?

jonpiper · Dec 4, 2006

Questions, questions, another question. Is it necessary to write (subtitled) each time an alien speaks, after the first time?

scripter1 · Dec 4, 2006

YES

if you want the words to appear on the screen everytime.

Though some writers would say that you can write a script note.
"Every time this character speaks it will be subtitled."

That could get lost in the script along the way, over looked or what ever, so as long as the aliens in question aren't gabbing up a storm the parenthetical won't be an issue.

For guidance and inspiration take a look at several scripts with aliens as major characters. Star Trek scripts, Mars Attacks, Spaced Invaders, Independence day, Star Wars, etc.
You should get several working examples.

jonpiper · Dec 4, 2006

JON, who appears human, faces scripter1, Art, and a small group of PEOPLE.

JON (V.O.)
(lips together)
High pitched harmonious sounds.

Scripter1 places his hands over his ears and shakes his head.

SCRIPTER1
(shouting)
I don't understand you.

Art and the people turn to stare at Scripter1.

JON (v.o.)
(lips together)
Now I understand your language. Thank you, my friend.
I am Jon.

SCRIPTER1
My name is Scripter1.
(beat)
Thank you and welcome to Earth.

ART
Scripter1, are you talking to that thing?

JON
Hello, my friends. Scripter1 taught me how to speak your language.

Goodwriterguy · Dec 4, 2006

scripter1 said:
if you want the words to appear on the screen everytime.

Though some writers would say that you can write a script note.
"Every time this character speaks it will be subtitled."

That could get lost in the script along the way, over looked or what ever, so as long as the aliens in question aren't gabbing up a storm the parenthetical won't be an issue.

For guidance and inspiration take a look at several scripts with aliens as major characters. Star Trek scripts, Mars Attacks, Spaced Invaders, Independence day, Star Wars, etc.
You should get several working examples.

Indeed but it depends ... on the particular situation.

I wrote a script not long ago that has German U-boat crew members with speaking roles. When the first of them appeared I wrote,

German characters will speak in German throughout, with subtitles in English.

This is the only deviation from the norm in the script and the German characters are the only "foreigners" in the piece and they appear only in the second Act. I've asked readers who've read this thing if that particular direction was problematic or caused them any difficulties, and to the person they've said "no." On that basis I think we can say it worked, in that particular script and within its context.

I think vertical space in a screenplay is much too valuable to be using it on endlessly repeated wrylies, especially when you can convey the same information in one line. If someone happens to miss that line and they do an erroneous read, well, shame on them. Good readers don't miss lines nor "overlook" them. I like to base my writing on the notion that good readers will read it, not one's who "miss lines."

Each instance presents its own challenges to getting things right, so that you end up with a nice smooth read that has no speed bumps in it to knock a reader off the story or the course of things. There is no one size fits all, something a writer discovers after penning several scripts. Each case has to be handled in the manner it's best suited for, and one should strive for consistency in such treatments within a given work.

There was an interesting twist on this in "Hunt for Red October," in that the Russian characters on the sub began the movie speaking in Russian with their speeches subtitled, but not too long thereafter they were speaking in English, and WE hardly noticed the transition. I've not read the script so don't know how this was scripted. It would be interesting to see.

Cheers!

jonpiper · Dec 5, 2006

As suggested, I read some scripts. Good site for scripts: http://www.imsdb.com/scripts

From the Aliens script, the computer wrylie is written only the first time the computer "speaks,"
which seems to agree with you, Goodwriterguy.
V.O. is not written. I thought that since the computer is an inanimate object, V.O. should have been written as COMPUTER (v.o.), but it was not.

COMPUTER
(a mechanical voice)
I have interrupted the course of the
voyage.

ROBY
What? Why?

COMPUTER
I am programmed to do so if certain
conditions arise.

Below is how the writer handles an Alien voice transmission comming in on the ship's radio.

Over the speakers, we hear a hum, a crackle, static... THEN A
STRANGE, UNEARTHLY VOICE FILLS THE ROOM, SPEAKING AN ALIEN
LANGUAGE. The bizarre voice speaks a long sentence, then falls
silent.

The men all stare at each other in amazement.

STANDARD
Computer, what language was that?

COMPUTER
Unknown.

ROBY
Unknown! What do you mean?

COMPUTER
It is none of the 678 dialects
spoken by technological man.

Goodwriterguy · Dec 5, 2006

jonpiper said:
As suggested, I read some scripts. Good site for scripts: http://www.imsdb.com/scripts

From the Aliens script, the computer wrylie is written only the first time the computer "speaks,"
which seems to agree with you, Goodwriterguy.
V.O. is not written. I thought that since the computer is an inanimate object, V.O. should have been written as COMPUTER (v.o.), but it was not.

COMPUTER
(a mechanical voice)
I have interrupted the course of the
voyage.

ROBY
What? Why?

COMPUTER
I am programmed to do so if certain
conditions arise.

Below is how the writer handles an Alien voice transmission comming in on the ship's radio.

Over the speakers, we hear a hum, a crackle, static... THEN A
STRANGE, UNEARTHLY VOICE FILLS THE ROOM, SPEAKING AN ALIEN
LANGUAGE. The bizarre voice speaks a long sentence, then falls
silent.

The men all stare at each other in amazement.

STANDARD
Computer, what language was that?

COMPUTER
Unknown.

ROBY
Unknown! What do you mean?

COMPUTER
It is none of the 678 dialects
spoken by technological man.

I think what spec writers have to keep in mind is the idea that their screenplays aren't shooting scripts. I have no idea what kind of script the above is from, a pure spec, written on assignment, shooting script, or transcript, so it is impossible to judge its relevance to a spec writer.

Spec writers create screenplays that are intended to "sell" their idea for a movie, to be read by a reader (with "reader" meaning any one of reader, agent, producer, director, actor, d-person) and to convey the vision of their movie so that said reader "gets it," gets its story and its cinematic vision.

Readability thus becomes the deciding factor when handling voice overs, POVs, quick cuts, cutaways, scene transitions, montages or series' of shots, audience-readable text, and the myriad other "technical" aspects that can and do come into play. The KISS principle should always provide some of the guiding light. The writer's voice should be unique and consistent and his treatmnt of "technical" aspects should be as consistent as practicable within a given work.

Read the great spec scripts that are out there and emulate them in your own work.

Cheers!

Joe Unidos · Dec 5, 2006

Also, bracketing dialogue can help to reinforce a note like "German characters will speak in German throughout, with subtitles in English" if you want to avoid using (subtitled) over and over.

ALIEN ONE
[I can't believe how lame this planet is!]

DUDE
what did he say?

INTERPRETER
Nothing. He likes your shorts.

ALIEN TWO
[When do we eat the surfer?]

scripter1 · Dec 5, 2006

Two things

1) I am a she, not a he Jonpiper.
Get it right or I'll bite your head off.
And don't think you can get away with using the excuse of "It's the internet, I DIDN'T KNOW!"

2) I would really like to respond again in this thread but I'm drugged and posting on screenwriting forums is one of the things they advise you to avoid while under the influence of narcotics, ranks right up there with signing divorce papers, buying a car, or writing wills.

3) BECAUSE I am drugged I cannot be held responsible for anything I say or criticzised for any errors I make.

dpaterso · Dec 5, 2006

scripter, you're scaring the hell out of me and I'm 5,000 miles away from you. Warning: powerful women turn me on.

-Derek

Goodwriterguy · Dec 5, 2006

Joe Unidos said:
Also, bracketing dialogue can help to reinforce a note like "German characters will speak in German throughout, with subtitles in English" if you want to avoid using (subtitled) over and over.

ALIEN ONE
[I can't believe how lame this planet is!]

DUDE
what did he say?

INTERPRETER
Nothing. He likes your shorts.

ALIEN TWO
[When do we eat the surfer?]

Hmmm, this strikes me as a very good "indicator," but I must say I've not ever seen it used before. Now, that means nothing, because I sure haven't read every script ever written nor have I been exposed to every last technique in the screenwriter's tool box, so I take this to be an accepted practice.

It's great because it consumes no more vertical space than one would use anyway, and, it would indeed serve to reinforce a note such as the one I wrote.

I like it!

Thank you, Joe!

jonpiper · Dec 5, 2006

Joe, I too like the brackets. It seems like an astute reader would immediately catch on to their meaning, but to be sure, could you refer to them in the description line: "German characters speak in German throughout, their dialogue bracketed, with subtitles in English" ? Just a thought.

scripter1, I am not sexist . . . I had no idea . . . um . . . it's the inte . . . no, don't bite . . . I'm a he . . .

As soon as the drugs subside, you must post again.

scripter1 · Dec 5, 2006

Oh,

but I'm so much wittier when I'm drugged.
At least I think so.

D, (exasperated sigh) how many times do I have to throw ice cold water on you?

dpaterso · Dec 6, 2006

D, (exasperated sigh) how many times do I have to throw ice cold water on you?

As m-many times as y-you like, m-mistress...

-Derek

Alien Character Dialogue

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