Am I doing it right?

[indeterminate x]

I need to know if I'm doing it correctly. I just started it about five minutes ago.

1 EXT. Silver Lexus GS 300 - NIGHT

Random Guy #1, obviously enjoying himself, cruises through
various streets of Daytona Beach. He pulls up to the curb of
a convenient store. Steps out and walks inside. Camera stays
with the street corner in view.

&nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp RANDOM GUY #1 (Off Screen)
&nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp Hey, Tony!

Rodrigo Vega, comes around the corner, with a jimmy in his
hand. He walks to the driver’s-side-door and gets ready to
insert the jimmy through the window, but realizes it’s not
locked. He opens the door, and pulls a pair of plyers out of
his pocket.

2 INT. Convenient Store.

Random Guy #1 places a coke and a bag of funyuns on the
counter.
&nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp TONY
&nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp Will that be all?

&nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp RANDOM GUY #1
&nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp Yeah.

3 EXT. Street Corner

Through the windshield you see Rodrigo bent down under the
dash, the car starts whining, weak.

4 INT. Convenient Store

Random Guy #1 collects his items and turns his head towards
the window. Drops his items and jolts towards the door.

&nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp Random Guy #1
&nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp Hey!

5 Ext. Street Corner

The car starts, Vega sits back up and pulls away from the
street corner.

[NikeeGoddess]

Buy a copy of David Trottier's, The Screenwriter's Bible. It answers all the formatting questions for beginners.....and then some.

[dpaterso]

Sorry to say, it reads like you just started it five minutes ago.

Take Nikee's advice.

Also, find out how it's done by reading screenplays. Go to www.script-o-rama.com (http://www.script-o-rama.com) or similar and download some scripts. Pick movies you like and remember, and see how the written word translates into screen image. Don't fool yourself into thinking you can skip this step -- it's vital.

The first and most obvious error in your script sample? Don't number your scenes. This gets done by the production company, when the script is going into production and scenes are finalized.

-Derek

[indeterminate x]

Oh. I got the numbering thing from the Sopranos Script Book. That's kind of my only guide right now. I'm going to be at a book store tomorrow and I plan on buying some kind of book about screenwriting.

Oh and other guy, don't apologize. That's why I asked.

[ThisGirlWrites]

There are tons of webbies where you can download free scripts.

Try this one for starters:

www.allmoviescripts.com/ (http://www.allmoviescripts.com/)

Or use your favorite search engine to find more. Plug in an easy string like "screenplays+downloads+free" and you should get plenty of hits.

Good luck.

PS: make sure you download the spec script and not the shooting script. The shooting script will contain numbered scenes and camera angles, et cetera, none of which belong ina spec script. Have fun!

[dchapma123]

All of the advice you've received is good, and yes you should take a look at some screenwriting books or websites to get the format right, but...

Don't let that stop you from writing the script. You can always go back and format later. Do not let your inexperience with format be an excuse for not writing. Proper format is important, but it's not the MOST important.

In short, don't worry about whether or not you're "doing it right". There will be plenty of time to take care of that later.

[Hamboogul]

Good job! Best of luck with this script. You paint a very good story.

[PipeWriter]

I agree.

[A Pathetic Writer]

"Am I doing it right?"

No.

[Big Time Bollywood Producer]

Kid, I think I see where you're going with this,
and I like it. Goddammit, I like it! Now listen to
me. You can write. Hell, anyone can see that
from the sample you posted. But you set this
story in Bhubaneswar. Make RANDOM GUY #1
a Tea Vendor. Then we'll talk.


~ Big Time Bollywood Producer

[gullpoop]

First thought: referring to the first character to appear in your story "random guy #1" is not a good sign. Doesn't imply a lot of causality to what is about to unfold. Neither does it imply a great deal of caring about the people in this world by you, its creator.

[absolutewrite]

Good point, gull. Typically, the first person the audience "meets" is the one we expect to be the protagonist. We automatically pay attention to him or her, so having the first character introduced be a throwaway character may not be a smart idea.