Hey all...This relates to all types of writing

Times Hey everyone...
I have a question for all writers in any time of writing. Wot do you do when one of your friends isn't supportive of your dreams/goals of writing. For example, a friend of mine, only an online friend said to me one day "I doubt you'll ever make it." Now I understand why he says this, his main goal for the year is to get with the "in" crowd of his highschool and date this girl. He missed a lot of highschool last year and may not graduate this year...so personally, I think he's just going down the drain and has no right to insult me. But still...it lingers in my mind...wot do you guys do when someone constantly insults you, yoga, music, write?

At the moment, I'm avoiding him. Everytime I tried to explain to him that I'm reading a lot, writing, conferences...he insults me by claiming he has done more. That's not even possible...but still...it's like an on going battle. He says if it was true, I'd prove myself to him. My personal opinion is, I don't need to prove anything to him, I know I'm working and that I have dreams Oh, I'm only 18 by the way. I feel that I have a tight skin, I grew up with one hell of an awful childhood full of tragic happenings. I've decided it's not worth talking to him...but do any of you have advice as to wot you do when you meet someone who doesn't understand/share your love for writing or your dreams?

It's kind of funny you would post this today. I'm an advertising salesman, and I walked in on a bicycle shop today. I've never been there before so I had no idea what to expect. The owner was an old man with a love for writing. He's had a lot of stuff published (magazines, newspapers - that kind of stuff), and has been writing forever. He's also best friends with Carl Sandburg's (the poet) nephew - kinda cool.

As I was about to leave, he threw out some writing advice to me. He told me to never be afraid to put myself and my work out there. He said I will constantly run into people who will feel the need to criticize my work or what I'm trying to do. "Don't pay any attention to them," he said. "Just let it roll right off your back." Then as I was leaving, he said, "Oh yeah, and never stop writing."

There is nothing greater in life than having a dream. I think there are a lot of people out there who don't have dreams, or are too afraid to chase them. Those are typically the people who try to crush the dreams of others. Misery loves company. "Don't pay any attention to them."

"Oh yeah, and never stop writing."

-Squid

Glad you're here!

Lovinertv, glad you're here. Welcome to the group. You've done the best thing you can do and that is to join others who share your aspirations. I have a whole family full of people just like your friend (most of them). Frankly, I find them to be jealous, immature and lacking in passion for anything in life which is why I believe they find it so inspirational to their dysfunctional mentality to put down my efforts.

Therefore, I rarely discuss my screenwriting with them. If they ask, I give vague answers like, "Not much happening right now." I realize you're young, but your friend doesn't sound much different than most of my family and my best advice is not to feed into his negativity by talking about your writing. Furthermore, you have nothing to prove to anyone but yourself so simply ignore this so-called friend of yours. He also sounds deeply insecure so keeping him as friend will do nothing more than drain and zap your creative energy. If he keeps pushing you to 'prove it' I'd suggest you consider axing this friendship altogether!

Good luck and keep writing no matter what anyone says.

Don't worry...

Don't worry about people like that, seriously. I grew up with them all my life. My own father told me I could be no more than a steel worker like him. I'm not saying that being a steel worker isn't admirable but you would expect more support from a family member, especially a family member who gave you life. Now he's eating so much crow, he'll be crapping feathers for a year.

My dad believes in my writing so much that he's willing to get some of his friends together for me to do a scene with a bunch of bodyguards getting killed. All I have to do is buy a case of beer. Anyway on to my suggestion if he's a good friend don't just abandon him because he doesn't believe in your dream. It is possible that he's just trying not to get your hopes to high. Keep on writing though, just because you're friends with someone who doesn't believe in your dream doesn't mean that he's a bad friend.You're gonna run into these people all the time, you just have to push past that stuff.

Peace!

You can do it

I'm not sure really sure if I can give you as wise advice as everybody else, but here goes...

I'm 20 years old, have written five full length screenplays, won a couple of awards and none of them have sold. Like any of us know, the chances of getting something from our brains to our computers to paper to the silver screen are slim. Like you, I have also had many naysayers to remind me of these odds. But this doesn't bother me, it just makes me work harder. If the chances are one in a thousand, well, then I gotta make sure that my work is better than the other 999.

Besides, starting young does have its advantages in my view. We've got our whole lives ahead of us to try to make that first sale (let's hope it's sooner rather than later, though!).

Good luck, and don't give up.

-moviemaestro

But still...it lingers in my mind...wot do you guys do when someone constantly insults you

First of all, hes a "online" friend who is going to fail this semester in school?

Sounds like a real loser, but thats just my opinion. Who the hell gives a crap what he thinks?

As for people insulting you...get used to it. There are lots of a-holes like your supposed "friend" out there in the world. I like to call them "Democrats".

Friends dont rag on each others dreams....oh christ...did I really just say that? That sounds gay...must have picked it up from an old "After School Special" show...anyways...When someone gets you down and your feeling bummed do what I do. Go to your local video store, Blockbuster, Hollywood Video, etc..

Then walk up and down the aisles. Look to your left, look to your right. Yep, thats right...its wall to wall CRAP! If someone can sit down and write "Pumpkinhead", any movie with Carrot Top or Pauly Shore, "From Justin to Kelly" or those evil Leparchaun movies then ANYBODY can make it as a screenwriter...just takes practice and lots and lots of writing...oh and I suppose a bit of luck wouldnt hurt.

Thank you to everyone who wrote me back. I'm going to try to write you guys all back on here.

Supersquid191- I didn't really think of it as people who don't have dreams because they are afraid to chase them. I'm not going to pay attention to him...I mean it's pretty much pointless.

Bscript- I had looked at a question about 'who do you send your screenplay to?' question and at first was a little bummed when I say a certain stormy weathered person say it's impossible to get your screenplay read by anyone, but I read your note after saying that it is easy and you have to be willing to put the work in. So thanks for that response, made me feel better My friend whom I haven't spoken to in 5 days or been "online" on his list, it's getting better...his comments out of ignorance are fading..day by day that is. I'm really considering to just stop being friends with him. I'm not trying to sound rude or that I'm better than anyone else, but I don't think it's right to allow myself to be friends with someone like this. No dreams, no passion...nothing really and why would I want to be around someone like that...I'm gonna keep writing no matter wot anyone says. It's funny tho...out of all the people who have met me and know about my writing, he's the only one who wasn't happy or excited about my dreams :\ oh wellz...his loss in life, not mine.


JUST ANOTHER WRITER- Yeah, I see how someone you gave you life should be more supportive of your dreams/goals. I think that I need to find if he's a good friend. He's constantly whining how I'm "anti-love" which isn't true, I love my family, friends a lot and he's just so....so....well I'm not sure which word could be use to describe it. He just has this messed up idea that he has to love a girl in order to live and he's constantly saying flirting is a sin. I mean not only my writing, but just because I don't want to settle down with just anyone, he has a fit with me and constantly tries to start fights. So....tell me...do you feel that he's a good friend anymore? In the beginning, I never knew he was like this, then again...does anyone know how people are until they get to know em. He's always :lol about anything I say...in a way, it's like he's not even a human but simply a bot who has nothing in life and feels the need that "misery loves company" like Supersquid191 said. I don't think I should be the one who's company and I doubt he'll ever change his ways.


moviemaestro- I have the same attitude ..everytime someone tries to bring me down...it makes me want to work that much harder to prove them wrong. Starting young is god on the more time to make our sale...but others such as agents and editors may not take us as serious :eek


newbie writer- I'll be honest...I was afraid that perhaps you were going to be really agressive on your reply since I have seen your other responses...but I must say... I completely agree with wot you said. I don't want to be the devil here, but he is really a loser. I shouldn't give a damn on wot he thinks...I mean he's going "bye bye" in his life and has no real dreams. I am used to it, but I think now the main thing is...I don't think any writer from reading the notes would bother with someone like him. I don't think him and I should be friends anymore...whenever I go online...he makes smartass remarks like 'wot are you trying to do now, you don't know anything' bs. I think if anything at all..just someone who is on my list and once in a while just say hi, no talking about my life and I don't wanna hear about his sad attempts of him trying to get a girlfriend. We" dated" online which I never do EVER! but lucky for me, it wasn't offically or real so he's not a real boyfriend and not he's not a friend which I'm proud about. LOL..yeah sort of like an after school special, which I haven't seen in years on ABC...but it's true, so he's not a friend. Carrot Top...:eek Yeah, I'm going to keep writing and going on and it's true...some movies are pretty crappy :\

He just has this messed up idea that he has to love a girl in order to live and he's constantly saying flirting is a sin. I mean not only my writing, but just because I don't want to settle down with just anyone, he has a fit with me and constantly tries to start fights.

Sounds like he's trying to get you to live his type of life rather than your own. These are almost always people who are very, very unhappy with who they are and have no real direction - thus they try to overcompensate by controlling other's behaviors. I'll stick with my advice to dump this dude. Remember the definition of a friend is... someone who knows all about you but likes you anyhow.

There's 4 billion people on the planet and life's too short, so axe the guy already.

Bscript- I am going to ax the relationship all together...he's not worth it. Now I just have to find a way...I'm thinking that going to route of just blocking him online and only appearing online on his list say 1-3 times a week...then later on once a week, then once every 2 weeks and yeah you get the pic. I wanted to just come forth and say that I don't want to be friends with him, but he'd threaten to crash my computer..so I think this is the best way. He should get the hint in time

Lov - my best advice is to use him. He sounds like a character.......maybe a character in you next screenplay. Think of him as character research. :lol

If you still have contact with him in the future there is no reason to share your desire to write with him.

Write On!

That's a very kewl idea I recently said goodbye to him tho...but I have enough bad memories to write a character on him. I will be getting a new name because he knows this name from aol...so I'll be back soon with a new name that he won't know

When my parents found out I was taking up writing, they threatened to disown me. I mean, I graduated Harvard, so I can understand their concern. I mean, come on, it's Harvard. Is there a better school? A more prestigious school? I don't think so.

Anyway, I digress. So, they threatened to disown me. My father even wrote a poem to voice his displeasure. I post it below:

Oh devil son,
You bring us pain.
Pain of pain.
We gave you life,
Of our loins,
And you repay us this way?

Pain. You pour pain on us.
Why, oh devil child, do you hurt us?
Harvard called, and we sent you.
But now, pain, is our joy,
Because we scream at the germs.

Oh son of infection,
Lose your lie. Become our joy.
Or cut our beating hearts,
From our weeping chests.

Die son. Killer of dreams.
Impossible face bane.

Click to expand...

I wanna be adopted.

Wot do you do when one of your friends isn't supportive of your dreams/goals of writing.

Click to expand...

I tell them "It's not important to know how to spell "What," or end questions with proper punctuation.

Re: yep

Hey JUST ANOTHER WRITER.
I know what you mean. Twenty years ago I worked for my dad. He never gave me any support for my dreams or ideas. Twenty years later I own a big home, a new car and a big screen TV etc. He as of now has still not owned his own home.

Anyway, I decided to script a true conversation I had with him all those years ago. This always stuck in my memory.

he wrote a poem?

Hi everyone! :grin hi Hamboogal! im new to the board and hope to get to chat with most of you soon!
Anyway..I was just browsing through the posts when i noticed This post, on reading it i felt bad for you it must be awful to have your parents threaten do disown you for doing something you love!

My problem is rather less upsetting, i have a family who care about me and want me to do well in whatever i choose.. but they are not interested in my writing, i basically have to beg my mum to listen too or read something i have written and when she agrees its always with a sigh and an "oh alright then, if it wont take long"
and after .. always! the same comment.. "yeh its good" nothing more nothing less. The same goes for my friends, they do not mean to hurt my feelings its just that they are not in the slightest bit interested!
:clap Which is why i am so glad i have found this forum and hopefully can have interesting chats about what i love with like-minded people!!

By the way Hamboogul, you must have been sooo upset but did you find it atal amusing that you dad wrote a POEM!! to protest about you becoming a WRITER?

Re: he wrote a poem?

I graduated Harvard, so I can understand their concern.

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Come on, Ham, it's graduated from Harvard.








Your dad was right to belittle you. His poem is too soft. All that money for a great education and you dump it all to write screenplays and spend your free time on dumbass message boards like this leaving posts with bad grammar.

Re: he wrote a poem?

I don't appreciate you posting that poem, Ham, because...


I AM YOUR FATHER!

Re: he wrote a poem?

This is why you shouldn't write comedy, dude. Lame, hellalame, and stupid, too.

Re: he wrote a poem?

I've already secured the rights to Mr. Hamboogul's
poem. Principal photography is set to begin this
October in Calcutta, with the venerable Ahn Sung-ki
in the role of Hamboogul Senior, and Jung Woo-sung
as his vile disgrace of a son, Hamboogul.


~ Big Time Bollywood Producer