Plot Twist Vs. Deus ex Machina

merper · Nov 25, 2006

So nearly all good stories have plot twists, places where something completely unexpected happens. A really well executed plot twist will have the reader bashing the book over their forehead, because there were clues leading up to it, yet they didn't see it coming. This is especially true if it's in the final confrontation of the book. But how far can you go before a plot twist turns into an act of god?

I think deus ex machina is most common in sci fi and fantasy, when major worldbuilding takes place too late in the story. However, the other version of flawed plot twist is the "dumb coincidence," and I've seen this is pretty much every genre.

The thing is pretty much every story starts off with some coincidental thing happening - maybe the MC happening to stand in the wrong place at the wrong time and getting mugged. And in many cases this can seem like an act of god. So I guess my real question is how far into the story can you get without world building and coincidences turning into major plot flaws?

Here's a couple examples similar to the issue I'm having:

Let's say the story starts off with the MC turning into a werewolf. He got bitten or caught a cold - whatever. The premise is he's a newly minted monster. And let's say 20 or so pages later as he's still getting used to this new, he bumps into another werewolf, one who's fleeing from government trained werewolf-hunters, bringing him into contact with the main story arc(let's say it is to destroy this monster hunting department). Now obviously, our MC will have eventually incurred the wrath of these
hunters and have been plunged into the main story arc anyway, but this encounter just brings him into it faster. So would this be an acceptable plot twist or just a head-scratching coincidence.

Now for the deus ex machnia -

Let's say Werewolves - in this world - have the ability to turn anything they touch into - let's say chocolate. If they want to they can turn material into chocolate. Now this ability is crucial to the final confrontation in the book(Maybe he turns the silver bullets he's shot with into chocolate and eats them?), but the MC doesn't learn he can do this till midway through the novel. However, there are hints that something is odd earlier on. Say he walks through a room filled with statues of men made out of chocolate, or the home of this fugitive werewolf has a lot of chocolate furnishings. Would this be considered deus ex machina, if this fact is advertised well in advance of the ending?

Siddow · Nov 25, 2006

I think as long as the meeting is handled well--like they meet doing regular werewolf things like eating cats or whatever, and not over a latte at Starbucks--then that's no problem.

I also don't see a problem with hinting at a special ability before the MC realizes he has it. I do, however, have a problem with canines eating chocolate. Use carob.

jbal · Nov 25, 2006

Doesn't seem like it to me. my $.02

greglondon · Nov 25, 2006

If you're going to have a coincidence occur in your story that is needed to have the story work, the closer to the end it is, the more likely your readers will never forgive you for it.

That doesn't mean they'll certainly forgive you if you do it on page one, but if you're playing the odds, that probably where you want it.

as for your deus ex machina, a story starts out with limitations and abilities, and then solves some problem. If you solve the problem with some ability that wasn't introduced until the end, then its deus ex machina.

I, a simple fry cook at McDonalds, didn't know I could throw fireballs. Well, that solves that problem.

The other piece of deus ex machina is that it sometimes comes from outside the main characters. The story follows Deputy Dan going after a bad guy,and in the very end, the Cavalry comes out of nowhere and gets the bad guy. That's extreme deus ex machina. Even if you introduced the cavalry in chapter 1, unless the story follows the cavalry or the cavalry is somehow an integral part of the whole story, having them do Deputy Dan's job is deus ex machina.

You might want to consider rewriting from the point of view of the cavalry if that's the story ending you want.

For your special power thing, I think it should come up early in the story, so that people know right away that these are not stock werewolves out of the prop department. And I think whatever special ability you give the character/werewolf, that it ought to have some significance at some point early in the story.

i.e. don't just say he can turn lead into chocolate. Have a scene that resolves because that ability is used. It should be a non-life threatening scene, otherwise it becomes a deux ex mechina again. Maybe the werewolf is hungry and turns a chair into chocolate and eats it. or as a practical joke turns someone's car into chocolate.

What you don't want, in my opinion, is to introduce the fact that he has this special ability at the beginning, and then have it have no actual consequence in the entire story until the very end where the skill is used and it saves the day.

If you do that, then there will be some readers who will wonder if you wrote the story, couldn't figure out how to end it, so you gave the guy a special ability, and then added a paragraph at the beginning to introduce it at some point.

If there is no other point in teh story where this ability has any importance, then you might get some unhappy readers.

soloset · Nov 25, 2006

That's not deus ex machina in the second example. That's much more an example of the "show a gun in the first scene, you have to use it by the end" principle.

It wasn't odd when Luke learned to use a lightsaber halfway through Star Wars and that came in handy at the end of the movie, was it? Certainly if you spring it too late in the game, the reader will cry foul, but with careful prep work it's fine.

As to how far you can go with it, well, it depends on the story. Not much help, is that?

jbal · Nov 25, 2006

That's a great point. If they can turn everything into cheese, and then get attacked by giant mice that will be distracted by the cheese, that's a little too convenient. Superheroes often have this problem, where their power just happens to fit the situation to a T.

scribbler1382 · Nov 25, 2006

It would be unacceptable if the chocolate transmogrifying wasn't show until the last few pages when the silver bullets are flying at his furry heart. That would be, as the professionals put it, out of left field. Left field is bad. Right field ain't so great, either. But what you described seems fine to me...well grounded and well-foreshadowed long before the act.

My 2 cents.

KiwiChick · Nov 25, 2006

I read somewhere that most readers won't blink at a DEM if it makes the MC's situation worse, but will balk if it helps too conveniently.

On the chocolate thing, in my opinion hints from early in the book and discovering the ability at maybe halfway would be fine.

KiwiChick

merper · Nov 25, 2006

Good points from all. I don't think I'm making any of the mistakes greglondon talked about, but there are a couple points that I had issues with.

I think as long as the meeting is handled well--like they meet doing regular werewolf things like eating cats or whatever, and not over a latte at Starbucks--then that's no problem.

I see what you're saying here, and unfortunately I think my situation is closer to the Starbucks than it is to eating cats. Would it just be too much of a suspension of disbelief for him to run into another person with the same abilities shortly after? What if he's in a major city like New York, where the odds are greater simply cause there's more people? Or lets say he wanders by the bus station, where the werewolf is trying take a Greyhound(of course Werewolves would use Greyhound) out of the city?

I read somewhere that most readers won't blink at a DEM if it makes the MC's situation worse, but will balk if it helps too conveniently.

I think this is also true, but there's probably a limit to the number of times a bumbling stranger can destroy an otherwise immaculate plan

jbal · Nov 25, 2006

In a major city with more people it might be less likely, no? shorter odds. They must have some way of identifying each other, which makes it easier. Otherwise how would it come up?
"Do you want fries with that?"
"Yes. And I'm a werewolf."

Siddow · Nov 25, 2006

I was going to say what jbal said, somewhat. I think if you've clearly established things that make the MC different (other than the hair and claws thing), and then have him notice someone else who displays the same tendencies in public (panting? I dunno), and then create some sort of intimacy between them where a conversation about werewolve-ness is more believable, then you're fine.

But yeah, a "Wow, you've got hairy knuckles!"
"Thanks. You, too. Are you a werewolf?" just ain't gonna fly.

Tallymark · Nov 25, 2006

I think it would be better if there was a reason they encountered each other, rather than just a random run-in...especially since he's already encountered another werewolf (the one who turned him). It's hard to go from never meeting a werewolf, ever, to suddenly running into a bunch by pure chance--but, if you can come up with a good reason why they're running into each other, then the readers will buy it. Maybe the other werewolf seeked him out on purpose to warn him? Maybe it's the werewolf who bit him and he feels guilty? Maybe new-werewolf guy has been attracting too much attention from the baddies, and other werewolf is trying to help? Maybe werewolves can sense each other?

Random stuff happens all the time in real life, but it's hard to make a reader believe in coincidence.

merper · Nov 25, 2006

Maybe werewolves can sense each other?

This is pretty much my explanation. The whole werewolf thing doesn't really give a proper sense, so I'll just go ahead and say that the special power is telepathy. Essentially the MC is going around hearing people's thoughts then realizes that this other person is listening back. Naturally, only another telepath would be able to pick up on this, and thus it would make sense that he notices people like this only after he picks up his own power. Sound a bit more reasonable?

Deleted member 42 · Nov 25, 2006

Deus ex machina is a divine intervention that is completely unattached to the plot; the god descends in a throne and utters a proclamation and, metaphorically, waves his magic wand and Things Resolve.

Coincidence operates within the plot; it is "set up" by the writer, when it's effective. Deus ex machina is completely extraneous, an intervention from outside of the story.

Duncan J Macdonald · Nov 25, 2006

Tallymark said:
I think it would be better if there was a reason they encountered each other, rather than just a random run-in...especially since he's already encountered another werewolf (the one who turned him). It's hard to go from never meeting a werewolf, ever, to suddenly running into a bunch by pure chance--but, if you can come up with a good reason why they're running into each other, then the readers will buy it. Maybe the other werewolf seeked him out on purpose to warn him? Maybe it's the werewolf who bit him and he feels guilty? Maybe new-werewolf guy has been attracting too much attention from the baddies, and other werewolf is trying to help? Maybe werewolves can sense each other?

And maybe the werewolf that turned him was looking for a patsy to toss in front of the Secret Government Werewolf Hunters. It makes sense then, that he'd cross paths with his victim so that the hunters would have a wrong trail to follow that would actually lead to a real werewolf. (Nah boys, don't believe him -- they all say they're innocent.)

icerose · Nov 25, 2006

merper said:
This is pretty much my explanation. The whole werewolf thing doesn't really give a proper sense, so I'll just go ahead and say that the special power is telepathy. Essentially the MC is going around hearing people's thoughts then realizes that this other person is listening back. Naturally, only another telepath would be able to pick up on this, and thus it would make sense that he notices people like this only after he picks up his own power. Sound a bit more reasonable?

Why not use the already built in abilities of the werewolf. What about their sense of smell? The man is running, struggling to get away, the wind catches a bit of his hair, bring the scent right past him. He recognizes the scent and he battles between his sense of brotherhood and territory at the same time.

Silver bullets flying through the air squash any feelings of territorial instinct and he helps the fleeing werewolf escape, the last two bullets turn into chocolate and splatter against the wall.

"Whoa. How'd you do that?"

Type of stuff.

Or you could also have it that part of the other werewolf's plan to destroy the monster hunters is to send them after the wrong werewolf so he targeted and sought out the MC so that he could later turn into the unsuspecting decoy. (Depending on the specifics of your story.)

merper · Nov 25, 2006

Haha, the actual story has nothing to do with werewolfs and has very little chocolate unfortunately. Those were just examples.

My MC is just a normal guy who happens to hear thoughts.

Plot Twist Vs. Deus ex Machina

merper

Siddow

I'm super! Thanks for asking

jbal

greglondon

Planet Wookie techno geek

soloset

'bye

jbal

scribbler1382

Write For You, Edit For The Reader

KiwiChick

Editing like a caffeinated chipmunk

merper

jbal

Siddow

I'm super! Thanks for asking

Tallymark

merper

Deleted member 42

Duncan J Macdonald

Plotting! Not Plodding!

icerose

Lost in School Work

merper