Is there a formula for incorporating repetition?

[IThinkICan29]

.....and if so, is there also a limit to how many times phrases (thoughts) should be repeated?


I'm asking because a novel that I put on hold a full two months ago at the library, finally arrived. I rushed to check it out and went through my whole "gonna read a good book" ritual, only to discover, nearly 200 pages in (about 600 total)....that it's dead. What killed it you ask? By golly I actually have the answer.....TOO MUCH REPETITION...

Long story short, the heroine is a vampire huntress (author calls her a Neteru) who has just come back from a big battle in Hell. She was saved from the jaws of death by a master vampire (who also happens to be the love of her life) and has now lost the vision in her third eye....her third eye....her third eye I say....her third eye is blind...yes, no vision in the third eye... Two hundred pages in, and that's about how many times I've come across this phrase or some other variation of it. Even with my OCD in full flare mode, I can not continue reading this book.

Now that all that is out of the way...my question to you guys is, is there a way to keep repetition in check? As a writer, where do you draw the line? Do you assume that the reader has developed amnesia and needs to be reminded every fifty or so pages?

[Bufty]

It's one thing to repeat a word or phrase in error when there are other ways of saying it. It's quite another if you deliberately repeat something to remind the reader.

The place to remind someone of something would seem to be when the remembrance is vital for that section of the story. But even then, give the reader some credit for being able to pick up on important stuff and remember it. If you originally mentioned it in such a way that it stood out, that's your job done.

As you say, if I know someone is blind in one, or the third eye, I'm not likely to forget it.

One way of trying to cut repetition errors down is to use Word's 'Find and Replace' feature, or similar, to highlight in colour any phrase or word you suspect you might be guilty of repeating.

[Shadow_Ferret]

The third eye! Thanks!

*runs off and sprinkles "the third eye" into his WIP*

[greglondon]

He lost sight in his third eye.
Years later, he discovered that it was working part time in Mordor, after Sauron decided to sub out the whole "Eye of Mordor" thing.
The pay was good. Little did Sauron know that the third eye spent most of its time looking into elven bedrooms.

[The Lady]

..... and has now lost the vision in her third eye....her third eye....her third eye I say....her third eye is blind...yes, no vision in the third eye... Two hundred pages in, and that's about how many times I've come across this phrase or some other variation of it.?

Ah, you've captured the essence of that repetition well, my friend. Do you write humour?

It's hard to know. Once I started reading books as a writer as opposed to as a pure reader, I know I became aware of a lot more crap being published. (The moment you realise you're as good as. An epiphany moment according to Stephen King. Just finished reading him. I will refer to him a lot for the next three days)
If someone who doesn't write, picked it out, it would be a lot more telling. See can you get one of those people to read it.
On the other hand, either editors are getting useless ,or books are not being edited these days. I'm seeing an awful lot of places in books that could have done with pruning.

[Jamesaritchie]

I guess teh scret is to simply not repeat yourself. But maybe this is a matter of taste. Just because you couldn't finish the book doesn't mean millions of others won't love the way it's written. You can't please everyone, no matter what you do.

[IThinkICan29]

James you are quite correct. I've been digging around the net for reviews on this particular book...and not surprisingly there are none. The author's site has all kinds of errors, and NO reviews as well. It's weird. I only gave it half a chance because my little sister loves loves loves :) Anne Rice and I was looking for a vampire series that was a bit different from Rice's. Oh well.....I guess I got what I was looking for.

[Bartholomew]

I guess the secret is to simply not repeat yourself. But maybe this is a matter of taste. Just because you couldn't finish the book doesn't mean millions of others won't love the way it's written. You can't please everyone, no matter what you do.
I guess the secret is to simply not repeat yourself. But maybe this is a matter of taste. Just because you couldn't finish the book doesn't mean millions of others won't love the way it's written. You can't please everyone, no matter what you do.

(Repeating other people is fine, if you cite them. :))

[James D. Macdonald]

Are you by any chance talking about the Vampire Huntress series by L. A. Banks?

[Selcaby]

How is the third eye different from the other two? Is it, perhaps, used for second sight? If it is different and needs to be called something other than just her eye, what else is the author supposed to call it? "Third eye" in itself is not a very intrusive phrase. I haven't read the book but I would have thought it could stand some repetition.

[Summonere]

Is there a formula for incorporating repetition?

.....and if so, is there also a limit to how many times phrases (thoughts) should be repeated?


Yes. Art.

Art is the defining law of repetition. When it is harmonious with the whole, when it adds but does not detract, then it is right. Then it is proper. But when it distracts, kill it. Kill. It. Oh great freakopolis, kill it.

But how do you know if repetition is working or not? Beats me. Gotta have an ear for the tune all on your own. Some will agree with your ear, some won’t.

Repetition can be used as a matter of parallel structure on small scales, in sentences, for instance, in which the effect of repetition is likely to be just as small scale -- and it can be used as a matter of large scale, throughout the course of a novel, for instance, in which case the repetition gains (or should gain) more importance each time it is used.

If the repetition adds nothing, or loses force with subsequent usage, kill it.

Sounds as if that vampire eyeball thingy isn’t working with repetition.

[blackbird]

The key to using repetition successfully--when you use it at all--is that it be clear to the reader you are doing it intentionally (to achieve a certain effect, for example) rather than because you simply don't know any better. Of course that begs the next question-how to make it apparent?
That's a rather complex question, but style and consistency have much to do with it.

One of my favorite writers, Sherman Alexie, uses repetition quite often--and well--but it is always for a purpose. It gives the prose the poetic feeling of a traditional Native American chant. However, he is both judicious and consistent with these repetitious patterns, employing them most often during passages where the prose is intended to be of a more elevated tone (for instance, when references to historical or traditional elements are being made). But in passages that are simply relating mundane events from the characters' everyday lives, the prose tends to be leaner and more straightforward--and, of course, the repetitions disappear.

[ErylRavenwell]

How is the third eye different from the other two? Is it, perhaps, used for second sight? If it is different and needs to be called something other than just her eye, what else is the author supposed to call it? "Third eye" in itself is not a very intrusive phrase. I haven't read the book but I would have thought it could stand some repetition.

I'm thinking on the same line as you. The third eye is some sort of mystical eye, isn't it? Probably the writer wanted to emphasise it.

[janetbellinger]

Spunds like the author either is in love with the idea of the third eye or thinks the reader isn't aware of it. As if we all didn't listen to the musical group "Third Eye Blind," right? lol. When was this book written? I can see repeating the third eye bit if it was the 1960s or something when people were only just beginning to discover concepts like this, but in 2006?

[Éclairer]

Repeat to Remind the reader!? Risk-eee! Be sneaky. If you're shifty in your reference to a prior event then those who understand you will feel clever and tingly in their new-found self-importance; those who don't get it, won't know.

Unless of course you're being artsy. Art is a whole different matter, as has been addressed. I don't know how prosey a book about tri-eyed blood-suckers can be; but then I'm biased.