Exercise: Top Ten Predictions for the Future

[Riddler]

Here is another one. This is not an open invite for crits, but instead an invitation to add something funny to the list. Please contribute!


In the future…

- Every home will have one remote that controls lighting, music, entertainment, landscaping, cooking, and cleaning. And I will lose mine.


- Cars will get cheaper and cheaper, but gas will cost $100 a gallon. Much like inkjet printers, it will become cheaper to buy a new car than fill up a gastank.


- Commercials will be replaced by extensive product placements in TV shows, then the TV shows will eventually just become long commercials.


- The perfect diet pill will be invented, enabling people to easily trim to any weight they want. Then immediately, rounded features and bigger hips will come back in style.


- Car companies will deplete the world of cool-sounding names. There will eventually be a car called “The shiny one with the fin thingy on top. No, not the one you’re thinking of, the other one.”

[RainbowDragon]

Nice topic - here's a few cents' worth (Paypal accepted).

Auto mechanics will continue to make use of evasive phrases like "I don't have a crystal ball" despite the fact that they could guarantee right off the bat that you're not getting out of there for less than $5,000 in waste disposal and shop supply fees.

There will be a new complementary film-rating system including such categorizations as NP - No Plot, AI - Acting Impaired, 2DC - 2-dimensional characterization, and ECNWSttFHaaHHIMGB - Ending Certainly Not Worth Sitting through the First Hour and a Half Hoping It Might Get Better.

[SherryTex]

Television will be
1) Still rotten
2) still have people like Paris Hilton
3) still think David Letterman and Jay Leno are funny when they've lost all their teeth and hair.
4) still think a show is cutting edge if it stars a woman as the main protagonist or has a multi cultural cast
5) avoid writers altogether in an attempt to cut costs
6) have over 1 Google in channels and still nothing on but reruns and sports.

[Billytwice]

Smoking will become a religion.
Special rooms will be set-aside for devotees to frequent - several times a day.
These rooms shall be known as 'Smoking Rooms', where the followers of the tobacconalian sect shall inhale the by-product of their burnt offerings.
An Archbishop named Louisiana Perique will have disciples with names such as Virginia, Burley and Cavendish.
Novices will be trained to roll their own before progressing to tailor-mades and cigars. Eventually they will become skilled in the arts of pipe smoking and the world will be a better place....amen.

[JeanneTGC]

In the future...

The "death of print" will be foretold by all print and electronic media because of implanted hyperchips in the brain. Somehow, some way, people will still, however, purchase printed matter, mystifying all but those same millions of people who like to actually LOOK at what they're reading.

Hollywood will blame the newest media and entertainment advances for "the worst box office in the last decade" instead of accepting the fact that no one really wanted to see "Shrek 16: It's Just Not Funny Anymore" or "Spiderman 27: Spidey Bores His Great-Grandkids Yapping About Doc Ock" in the first place.

Rupert Grint IS James Bond, 007, in "MoneyRaker"! (Fans go mad furious, claiming that Bond "cannot be a redhead!" Grint laughs all the way to the Bond bank as the 35th Bond movie and 3rd franchise restart breaks box office records. Rival studios plan "Shrek 17" and "Spiderman 28".)

Everyone, everywhere, will complain about how kids just aren't as respectful and decent as they were "in my day".

[BruceJ]

Opinions like ours will be elevated into the category of "wisdom."

[TrainofThought]

Future...

- Reality shows will become our reality, and life as we know it will be for entertainment purposes.

- Computers will have management positions while humans fix them.

- Our future Presidents will become actors.