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View Full Version : Help me to roughen and toughen this up!


aruna
11-01-2006, 01:06 PM
Hi folks! I need a baddifier!
I just got a report back from my agent on an MS that's going to be submitted soon. She would like the language of one of my character's changed.
This is a young black woman who has lived on the streets. She's American, from the South. She had a good education, then fell into bad company. She had a criminal boyfriend, was on drugs, did some petty crime herself, has been in jail. My agent thinks her language is too elegant for someone like that. Thing is, I'm not American myself so I need someone who can help me roughen this up, put in some slang, etc.
In the book, this woman is writing a journal so there's be several journal pages, as well as some dialogue. This is in the late 1970s so it can't be contemporary language.
Any offers?
In return I'll help critique yours!

L M Ashton
11-01-2006, 01:22 PM
:D It sounds like a fun project... Just not one I'm capable of helping with, not being American myself. Good luck. :)

aruna
11-01-2006, 01:44 PM
:D It sounds like a fun project... Just not one I'm capable of helping with, not being American myself. Good luck. :)

Thanks! Yes, I can imagine people having fun with it. I look forward to the results!

aruna
11-01-2006, 02:22 PM
A perk: mention by name in the Acknowledgements - if it ever gets published!

alleycat
11-01-2006, 02:31 PM
I'm not black, but I am from the south and was around in the late '70s (and had a number of black friends). I can't commit to editing a full manuscript but I'd be willing to look at a few pages and offer some suggestions if that would help. I'll PM you my e-mail address.

aruna
11-01-2006, 05:15 PM
Thanks, alleycat!
So that's taken care of, folks.

Allie
11-06-2006, 07:12 AM
I'm not black, but I am from the south and was around in the late '70s (and had a number of black friends). I can't commit to editing a full manuscript but I'd be willing to look at a few pages and offer some suggestions if that would help. I'll PM you my e-mail address.

You're so nice Alleycat, we should be buddies :)

bryllynt
11-11-2006, 05:41 PM
Aruna,
For you and anyone else who may be interested. Good luck!

--bryllynt

There is some drama here, but good points are made later down the thread about writing dialects: http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/...ad.php?t=44415 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=44415)

Another one with some interesting info:

http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/...ad.php?t=45050 (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=45050)