Should I ditch this script?

[DoubleIT]

I have finally come to the realization that this script Im working on is probably just not going to work. Im at page 30 and I really like what I have. But there just is no story, its not there. I keep wanting to come back to it and work it and add a story to it to make it work but i dont think it is. I am worried I started to make an apple pie, but it looked more like a pumpkin pie and now im thinking with some lettuce and mayo itd be a decent sandwich. I keep thinking of other things that might save it, but i think it might just be dead.... i dunno. Anyone have thoughts, sugestions, insperations? Im not asking anyone to do so but the script can be read here

www.doubleitproductions.c...sition.htm (http://www.doubleitproductions.com/opposition.htm)

[William Haskins]

p068.ezboard.com/fdonedea...4315.topic (http://p068.ezboard.com/fdonedealfrm21.showMessage?topicID=4315.topic)

[rurals]

Why ditch anything? The most important thing is getting pages down. Follow any path that allows you to write, start a half dozen stories, finish one. Then concentrate on writing a half dozen scripts - one at a time. Knowing you'll no doubt write at least ten drafts per script - get pages down.

IMHO, it's okay to struggle with your story as long as you're willing to consistently rewrite and you enjoy it.

Ditch it for now, it'll get picked up again or it may morph into something different.

[bottomlesscup]

Dub-

Finish it. Just pound that mofo out. It'll be a struggle and it'll probably end up a terrible script, but that's not the point. At this point in your career, it's more important that you get some work done. Consider it practice. Worry later about quality.

Pro screenwriters get paid hundreds of thousands of dollars (or more) to write. It should be hard. It should take practice and discipline.

Screenwriting is learned skill. The only way to get better at it is to write. That's the bottom line. You can read a hundred structure books, see a thousand movies, study a million scripts. But the only thing that's gonna make you a great writer is doing it. Writing. Lots and lots of writing.

And you have to write the bad ones first, if you're ever gonna write the good ones.

[DoubleIT]

Not writing isnt even a thought. Putting this one aside means starting something new and I think at this point I have to do that (although i guess i hope someone replies back saying No! Its great, you just need to do X... and im just too clouded at the moment to see it myself... that probably wont be the case though). Anyway I think im at least going to take a few days off from this idea (If i can, its haunting me though, its all i can think about). Time to practice some of those alternative creativity ideas.

[William Haskins]

great advice from rurals and bottomlesscup.

[bottomlesscup]

lthough i guess i hope someone replies back saying No! Its great, you just need to do X.

Well, if that's all you need to finish the thing...

It's not great, but it's the beginning of a solid story.

I think your main problem is that you're going in the wrong direction genre-wise. I don't think you can switch Maddy from a sadistic villain in a psychological thriller into a sympathetic love interest in a romcom in the last thirty pages.

Play the whole thing as a romcom/action adventure. Think "Romancing the Stone" but play off noir conventions instead of pulp conventions.

[dpaterso]

doubleit, this guy has the exact same problem as you! Maybe you should get together and see if you can offer each other advice...

p068.ezboard.com/fdonedea...2170.topic (http://p068.ezboard.com/fdonedealfrm32.showMessage?topicID=2170.topic)

-Derek
-----------------------My Web Page - naked women, bestial sex, and whopping big lies. (http://hometown.aol.co.uk/DPaterson57)

[kojled]

doubleit

next time put together an outline. then, make sure you're satisfied with it before beginning script. you shouldn't write off the top of your head. this is because, if you do, you will get to page 30 and realize the story is going nowhere


zilla

[William Haskins]

i won't type the first slug anymore without an outline, broken down into at least a rough beat sheet.

[kojled]

doubleit

usually i cook a concept. this can take years, usually though, 2-4 months. during this time i go through a checklist:

is concept commercial

is story castable

would i go to similar movie

then, if everything checks, i start outline. this may take months, depending. can do it in a few days, though. then i crunch the story details and proceed only when the outline satisfies

from this point i could create a draft in a week. could do polish in a few days - and the script wouldn't be good, it would be excellent. forgive the immodesty - but you have to know where you stand. i'm not in this to write okay, or good scripts. i'm in it to knock the audience on their ass.

first step in this process is the creation (by whatever methods) of a beat sheet which outlines correct structure points which, in turn, allow for a proper story to be written. if you do this, the quality of the script will depend solely on your level of talent and the sincerity of your work. if you don't create such an outline, the quality of the script will depend on blind luck. your talent and hard work will be (mostly) negated

this may seem mechanical, but it's the best approach.


z

[Vigorish9]

i feel an outline can stunt the creativity of the script. i have my own version of an outline. i call it writing the script.

i know plenty of writers who don't outline including ryan peterson and david ayer, and richard charles, and on the list goes.

vig

[William Haskins]

if it works for you vig, i say that's fine and all that matters.

[Vigorish9]

that was directed at koijled... however maybe the subtext of your answer might have been your intention and the inference to koijled; in that case this post is just overkill.

but who am i to speculate, i can't spell.

vig

[desmas]

Ditching is for quitters and unless you can sit down and finish what you've started that is what you will be.

Your genre is obviously comedy, possibly romantic comedy what do you think?

I liked the first 10 pages. Your dialog is witty with a good tone but after the joint scene you simply lose control over the story. Big deal it happens to the best of us.

Here is what I like about your story.

Jeff. That's it I like Jeff. Maddy is obnoxious and I frankly could care less if she was fired from a respectable publication company. Let me put it to you this way from the moment you introduced Maddy I had one thought in mind. She's a bitch!

You have some serious Act 1 problems and that is why you can't continue with the story. So what's missing?

You haven't figured out the end. You yourself don't even know what sort of picture you want to paint. Come on DoubleIT you need to at least know where you want to go before you can actually get there.

I mean what kind of person jumps into his car without thinking about were he wants to go? Have you thought about this?

Step 1 find an ending to your movie. It's not that hard. Yes you will have to work at it but it can be done.

Step 2 Paint a broad but clear picture of your entire story line. No need for specifics just the basic dilemmas that your protagonist will go through.

Step 3 Write a first draft that will get your creative juices flowing. When your done look at your work and go back into the story and begin to add the real cool filmic devices.

Now here is what I think you can do with your story. Take my ideas with a grain of salt because you may or may not like what I have to say.

First I like that Matty wants to explore the world of Antagonism (is that even a word?) but I think it's just too much BS for me to believe she is going pull out all the stops to get there. I need more. Even though she is the antagonist of the story I still need to feel connected with her at some level. If not then I feel detached form her cause. If you can't make it work then drop the idea for you have much to play with.

Also you must become this character. You need to put yourself in her shoes and tell the story as if you are the one driving the car. What would you do how would you react to a situation?

And this is especially crucial for the protagonist Jeff.

I think Maddy and Jeff should fall in love and that Matty is not the true antagonist. I think Maddy should have redeeming qualities and we should see them in Act 1.

Even better make Jeff the one item in her life that isn't fantasy. Jeff is the reel the deal even if he doesn't know it.

By the end of your story all your characters must change. The really must! I mean that is what real life is all about. Changing! However the change must come form themselves and no one else.

I think you have the talent to finish this script. You just need some practice and patients. Heck we all do. Finish this script and send it in. To hit a home run you need to stand up to the plate.

Good luck

[rurals]

mercy mercy. I give.

Two guys, scratching their heads, wavering between a philips or flathead when the whole engine block needs an overhaul.

[Vigorish9]

would john t. have gotten that role in saturday night fever if he had no hair? "don't touch my hair pop."

vig

[DoubleIT]

Thanks for the advice everyone. Special thanks to desmas. I think you are right and Im not totally ditching it, im just putting it aside. I was too caught up in it and it was going to spiral out of control. I am developing a new idea now and once im done that ill go back to this one (Probably in the summer). Thanks again everyone