Addressing an agent

My rule of thumb in almost everything which may or may not be wrong...but it works for me

First letter Formal... Mr./Mrs/Ms.

If they answer saying Dear Ted:
in an email or such
I answer back with Dear Bob/Jane etc.

If they answer back with Dear Mr. Gross
I answer back in the Formal

But First letter is always formal...

Formal all the way. Mr. or Ms. (it pays to really do your research here so you don't get the wrong salutation. Miss Snark, for example, hates being addressed as Ms.)

aadams73 said:

Miss Snark, for example, hates being addressed as Ms.)

Click to expand...

Yeah, but she probably wouldn't mind being addressed as "Your Royal Snarkiness."

Serioiusly, based on the research I did when looking for an agent, how am I supposed to know their marital status? I would consider it reprehensible to make a decision on an agent based on his or her marital status, so wouldn't attempt to find it out. Are you supposed to figure out an online persona like Miss Snark (I thought her real identity was a secret?) and read years of her blog before querying just in case she states a preference as to salutation in a letter?

K1P1 said:

Yeah, but she probably wouldn't mind being addressed as "Your Royal Snarkiness."

Serioiusly, based on the research I did when looking for an agent, how am I supposed to know their marital status? I would consider it reprehensible to make a decision on an agent based on his or her marital status, so wouldn't attempt to find it out. Are you supposed to figure out an online persona like Miss Snark (I thought her real identity was a secret?) and read years of her blog before querying just in case she states a preference as to salutation in a letter?

Click to expand...

I know this is going to come as a complete SHOCK...but I totally agree with Mags here.

To be incredibly honest, if Ms. Snark whoever the hell she or he is does not like being called Ms. then I would assume in her REAL listing she will have herself listed as Mrs. or Miss.

There is a limit in terms of time and even effort that you should do in finding an agent. I am sure as hell not going to spend hours on line or oodles of money to find out if the agent I am writing to likes Ms. or Mrs. if she does not list it .. nor am I going to ask her if she likes Skippy Crunch or Skippy Creamy.

This is a business letter. Like in any other business. I have read my share of rejections, and have written my share of horrible queries, but I certainly never had someone come back to me and say, I hate being called Toodles please call me Toodlerooni.

Doh! Sorry, I should have made myself clearer. Apparently Miss Snark's agency(or her name or some such thing) is a name that is often mistaken for male, therefore it's wise to research and check whether or not that agent is male or female. There are lots of unisex names these days. (I agree, the Ms/Miss thing is kinda nitpicky)

I_Shrugged said:

I think Miss Snark only gets nitpicky with people who send e-mail to her blog.

Click to expand...

But would anybody sane submit to her blog? Isn't it obvious that's not the way to go?

K1P1 said:

Serioiusly, based on the research I did when looking for an agent, how am I supposed to know their marital status? I would consider it reprehensible to make a decision on an agent based on his or her marital status, so wouldn't attempt to find it out. Are you supposed to figure out an online persona like Miss Snark (I thought her real identity was a secret?) and read years of her blog before querying just in case she states a preference as to salutation in a letter?

Click to expand...

Ms. is the accepted format for a formal letter for a woman, whether you know her marital status or not, unless she states upfront otherwise. I use Ms. even if I'm querying what would appear to be the wife of a husband-and-wife agent team. Most probably wouldn't be particularly bothered by Mrs., unless the person you were querying was actually the unmarried sister of the male agent and not his wife.

I must be the odd person out.

I always address everyone in the industry by their full name. It saves me the embarressment of mistaking their marital and sex.

I have never had a complaint, my query letters are always very respectful and does not assume familiarity, but one business person to another. Unless their website or contact as the salutation, I don't add it in.

Like icerose, I use their full name in the salutation.

But research is key, folks, especially with initials or unisex names. I found out by a quick website check that "Ashley" was a man, and "BJ" was a woman.

I always address people by the name they give me. I've got a name people always mangle. I tell them "Annalee," they call me "Anna." (or worse, "Ann/Annie"). I give them both surnames; they pick one and initial the other, or hyphenate them when they're not hyphenated (even the DMV did that one). It's annoying. I give people the name (my full name) by which I want to be addressed, and assume that others will do the same.

If an agent lists themselves on their website/agent listings as "Miss Snark," that's what I put in my query letter. If they give me a first initial and a last name, I leave it intact exactly how I find it, down to presence or absence of a period. If they list a full name with no Mr/Miss/Ms/Mrs, I list their full name as found. I figure no one can fault me for addressing them the way they've addressed themselves.

LeeFlower said:

If an agent lists themselves on their website/agent listings as "Miss Snark," that's what I put in my query letter. If they give me a first initial and a last name, I leave it intact exactly how I find it, down to presence or absence of a period. If they list a full name with no Mr/Miss/Ms/Mrs, I list their full name as found. I figure no one can fault me for addressing them the way they've addressed themselves.

Click to expand...

My feelings exactly. They wouldn't give you their full name if they would be offended being called that, they would give you the formal salutation. I have never heard of an agent or editor complaning because an author called them what they refer to themselves on their websites/business cards. But I have heard of them complain about authors calling them by the wrong sex salutation or misspelling their name.

If an agent's email address is [email protected], I address him as Bob. Otherwise I use the more formal approach--Mr. Agent. For subsequent communication I take the cue from the agent. If they say Dear Ms. Worth, the formality continues, but if they say Dear Julie, then we're on a first name basis.

Some of you people make me sick. Agents work for YOU, not the other way around. Stop grovelling at these people's feet and grow a set already.

kuatolives said:

Some of you people make me sick. Agents work for YOU, not the other way around. Stop grovelling at these people's feet and grow a set already.

Click to expand...

And you make me sick with this attitude.

They are professionals and gate keepers to the industry we want to belong in. Being rude and pushy won't open any doors.

Politeness is a common curtesy, if you wanted to be treated with respect then treat them with respect. I have not found any real agents to be anything less than polite, some even kind.

They do not work for you, they are more like partners. Your success is their success, but your failure is also their failure. You do not pay them, they take a percentage a fee for their services. You are not hiring them in the traditional sense, they are not your peons. They are intelligent business people with a strong feel for the industry which makes the good one's services invaluable.

You don't have to be a slave to them or grovel, but some manners will do you wonders.

kuatolives said:

Some of you people make me sick. Agents work for YOU, not the other way around. Stop grovelling at these people's feet and grow a set already.

Click to expand...

There's a difference between groveling and being professional.

icerose said:

And you make me sick with this attitude.

They are professionals and gate keepers to the industry we want to belong in. Being rude and pushy won't open any doors.

Politeness is a common curtesy, if you wanted to be treated with respect then treat them with respect. I have not found any real agents to be anything less than polite, some even kind.

They do not work for you, they are more like partners. Your success is their success, but your failure is also their failure. You do not pay them, they take a percentage a fee for their services. You are not hiring them in the traditional sense, they are not your peons. They are intelligent business people with a strong feel for the industry which makes the good one's services invaluable.

You don't have to be a slave to them or grovel, but some manners will do you wonders.

Click to expand...

Who said anything about being rude and pushy?

Agent
1.a person or business authorized to act on another's behalf:

Without writers, agents dont exist. Without agents, writers still write.
Agents work for YOU, the author. It's not a partnership. It never was.
If it was a partnership then they'd call them partners.

I find it absolutely shocking that a writer would take an ounce of abuse from Miss Snark because she decided to split hairs on how she was addressed. Writers pay her salary.

It's only because there are so many teeming hordes of desperate writers that will do anything to see their name in print that allow people like MISS Snark to get away with treating people like she does. Have some faith in your writing and yourselves and stop letting these f****ing parasites
walk all over you.

That's not saying all agents are parasites, but you give me a more apt description of agents who either prey on stupid desperate writers or treat them like a commodity.

Everytime I read one of these threads it brings up a mental image of someone going to visit the Wizard of Oz, trembling before the almighty 'gatekeeper' ...oh thank you thank you thank you wizard for taking the time out of your busy schedule to give me, the meekest of mortals the time of day to present to you something you need to pay your rent. Gawd.

Yes get their name right and yes treat them with as much respect as you demand for yourself. And that's the key part, respect yourself.

If your writing is good, it will get out there.

K1P1 said:

Yeah, but she probably wouldn't mind being addressed as "Your Royal Snarkiness."

Serioiusly, based on the research I did when looking for an agent, how am I supposed to know their marital status?

Click to expand...

"Ms." is also safe and perfectly fine to use.

The problem I have is when you have a name that is androgynous: Leslie Miller, Taylor Wright, Chris Soloman... It feels weird calling up the agency and ask, "Is Leslie Miller a man or a woman?"

When in doubt, I'd just use the full name.

kuatolives said:

Some of you people make me sick. Agents work for YOU, not the other way around. Stop grovelling at these people's feet and grow a set already.

Click to expand...

Incorrect. They don't work FOR you. They work WITH you. It's a mutual, business relationship. Writers don't pay agents "salary." Agents works with both the editor and the writer to find a good match and a great deal, and the editor pays the author, and the author give a cut to the agent.

Agent does no more work FOR their clients than a doctor does FOR his patients, or an executive recruiter does FOR her job candidates.

And I highlighted the words that are RUDE to your fellow writers. Considered yourself warned.

maestrowork said:

"Ms." is also safe and perfectly fine to use.

Click to expand...

Unless, of course, the agent's website (or other contact info) is clearly labeled with Miss/Mrs.

I for one, despise being called "Ms." Assuming agents are people who occasionally have bad days, an agent who has clearly labeled herself as Miss could chuck an otherwise brilliant query simply because it's the seven-hundredth Ms. she's seen in that day and she's sick of it. Better to do a little research beforehand.

If no title is forthcoming, then I'd stick with Ms, or in the case of unisex names, Dear {First Last}.

kuatolives said:

Who said anything about being rude and pushy?

Click to expand...

You do by your attitude. I wouldn't consider calling someone this:

kuatolives said:

It's only because there are so many teeming hordes of desperate writers that will do anything to see their name in print that allow people like MISS Snark to get away with treating people like she does. Have some faith in your writing and yourselves and stop letting these f****ing parasites
walk all over you.

Click to expand...

The reason why agents exist is because there are so many teeming hordes of desperate writers, but not for the reason you think. They exist because inexperienced authors have the same attitude like you do and would direct it to the editors. Not only that but a lot of the writing is very bad that is circulating. They use agents to not only slim down the pickings to those that may have a chance in the market but to also use the agents to find the manuscript in the genre and type they are looking for. So a romance editor isn't reading sci-fi, and the like. And you would be surprised how many authors don't research the publisher and send them the wrong genre.

I think you would be surprised to actually speak to a real agent.

kuatolives said:

That's not saying all agents are parasites, but you give me a more apt description of agents who either prey on stupid desperate writers or treat them like a commodity.

Click to expand...

Oh, you are speaking of scam agents. Those don't count. We are talking about real agents. I'm sure there are some out there who do think of their clients as commodities, it's a business, get over it. The good ones, however, are quite human and love books.

kuatolives said:

Everytime I read one of these threads it brings up a mental image of someone going to visit the Wizard of Oz, trembling before the almighty 'gatekeeper' ...oh thank you thank you thank you wizard for taking the time out of your busy schedule to give me, the meekest of mortals the time of day to present to you something you need to pay your rent. Gawd.

Click to expand...

I never said bow down to them like the great wizard of oz, and you can in fact make it without an agent in this industry, you just don't have the grounds of negotiation or know your way around the industry as they do.

Again, you don't want to work with agents, don't submit to them. There are plenty of other authors who want agents. And they really don't see authors as such, but they do see a lot of ones who can't write, seriously, if you don't believe me read the slushkiller, I know there's a link around here somewhere.

kuatolives said:

Yes get their name right and yes treat them with as much respect as you demand for yourself. And that's the key part, respect yourself.

If your writing is good, it will get out there.

Click to expand...

No one ever said you had to lose your self respect in this business. Not anywhere in this thread did anyone suggest that. They simply were trying to find the most polite and correct way to address an agent, no use stacking the deck against yourself before you even start.

And even if the writing is good if your ego is larger than your writing you will get turned down and you wouldn't be the first time. As said, its more of a partnership than anything else and they have to decide not only do they like your writing but are you possible to work with. If you are going to be a jacka** and treat them like a peon because they work for "YOU" you are going to get a lot more rejections than neccessary.

maestrowork said:

Incorrect. They don't work FOR you. They work WITH you.

Click to expand...

wrong

It's a mutual, business relationship.

Click to expand...

right. One is the employer the other is the employee.

Writers don't pay agents "salary.".....and the editor pays the author...... and the author give a cut to the agent.

Click to expand...

So 'cut' and 'salary' are different how again?

Agent does no more work FOR their clients than a doctor does FOR his patients...

Click to expand...

Wrong. A patient directly exchanges money with a doctor for a service.
To obtain a service the doctor provides, you must have doctors.
To obtain a service publishers provide you dont need agents. It can be argued you don't even need publishers. (You could ask Mark Twain if weren't dead)

or an executive recruiter does FOR her job candidates.

Click to expand...

Correct, and like agents a recruiter is nothing more than a convenience for employees and employers. Employer nor employee needs the existence of the recruiter to hire an employee.

Agents are a convenience for authors and publishers, just as they are for professional atheletes. You don't see atheletes worrying about if they got an agent's prefix right in a formal letter do you? Being in the IT industry I have dozens of recruiters calling ME every month to see if I need their services, not the other way around. Why? Because they work for ME and derive their salary from my work, NOT vice versa.

The entire industry flows from the end of your pen, not into it.

All I can do is shake my head and stare. Words escape me. It is interesting to see you employ your doctor and your agent. They must have set up office in your living room, how awkward must that be? And I bet their insurance, medical, and retirement are a pain to pay. Not to mention all the equipment and supplies you must have forked out for. Ouch.

icerose said:

All I can do is shake my head and stare. Words escape me. It is interesting to see you employ your doctor and your agent. They must have set up office in your living room, how awkward must that be? And I bet their insurance, medical, and retirement are a pain to pay.

Click to expand...

Read again. Patients purchase services from doctors. Nowhere was it stated they were employees.