For a long time I had a list of about twenty books I wanted to write. 20 titles that I'd think about and plan out. And until the day I started writing my first one I thought I'd be able to write them all.
First it was two, just two. Two stories spanning 2 novels, it grew into 5, then 8, and now, It's close to 12. (11 exactly)
2 Short stories, 1 Full length Novel, 2 stories each spanning 4 novels.
Did I finish any of them? You bet I did! I finished my first short story, and by god it was the cruddiest thing I have EVER written in my life. (No, not really, in fact, far from it!) and guess what, I FINISHED it.
I sat my butt down and for three hours wrote it, and finished it. It I looked at it, it sucked, I wanted to smack it and all 12 pages upside the head. For days now I've been revising it, and it's getting better and better and better, longer too, and I am so proud of myself for doing it.
The, I had a dream, which inspired yet another short story and wrote three pages of. Still going strong with it, but likely, it will fail too. (I think, maybe not)
Then the 1st novel, oh my...don't know how Im gonna write that.
The two stories, currently working on along with the 'finished' short story. It's not too bad, except for the DESPERATION...
The sheer desperation to finish them, and the sheer depseration to make them as good as they can be. Yet my absolute distaste in working on them and fear of how they might end up.
If it had been one novel, maybe two, possibly three, I wouldn't be so scared. But with 2 short stories, 1 solo novelm and 2 stories (ah, series really) spanning eight books I have planned for my lifetime it just feels so scary! And to make it worse I feel as if I have no confidence is doing the best of the best with these.
It's a life goal, not a 20 year goal, but a life goal to get them all published. (I'm young, not even twenty) so I'm not worried about time, but the feel that desperation, it's unlike anything else.
I would love to sit down everyday and write. But with school, sometimes I feel like I'm just wasting my time 'I could be doing this and that...' I always think. Thats why I never sit down to write I guess.
...sorry for my rants guys, I just had to get that out...
First it was two, just two. Two stories spanning 2 novels, it grew into 5, then 8, and now, It's close to 12. (11 exactly)
2 Short stories, 1 Full length Novel, 2 stories each spanning 4 novels.
Did I finish any of them? You bet I did! I finished my first short story, and by god it was the cruddiest thing I have EVER written in my life. (No, not really, in fact, far from it!) and guess what, I FINISHED it.
I sat my butt down and for three hours wrote it, and finished it. It I looked at it, it sucked, I wanted to smack it and all 12 pages upside the head. For days now I've been revising it, and it's getting better and better and better, longer too, and I am so proud of myself for doing it.
The, I had a dream, which inspired yet another short story and wrote three pages of. Still going strong with it, but likely, it will fail too. (I think, maybe not)
Then the 1st novel, oh my...don't know how Im gonna write that.
The two stories, currently working on along with the 'finished' short story. It's not too bad, except for the DESPERATION...
The sheer desperation to finish them, and the sheer depseration to make them as good as they can be. Yet my absolute distaste in working on them and fear of how they might end up.
If it had been one novel, maybe two, possibly three, I wouldn't be so scared. But with 2 short stories, 1 solo novelm and 2 stories (ah, series really) spanning eight books I have planned for my lifetime it just feels so scary! And to make it worse I feel as if I have no confidence is doing the best of the best with these.
It's a life goal, not a 20 year goal, but a life goal to get them all published. (I'm young, not even twenty) so I'm not worried about time, but the feel that desperation, it's unlike anything else.
I would love to sit down everyday and write. But with school, sometimes I feel like I'm just wasting my time 'I could be doing this and that...' I always think. Thats why I never sit down to write I guess.
...sorry for my rants guys, I just had to get that out...
